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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

I can't 'talk' to my bump! Feel ridiculous!! Am I the only one?!

74 replies

emeraldgirl1 · 03/01/2013 10:40

Friends and family have asked if I am talking to my bump or playing music to it and seem very surprised when I say I'm not. A quick trawl on MN makes me think a lot of people ARE talking to their bumps and I'm suddenly feeling as though I'm doing something very wrong by not doing so.

I feel very attached indeed to the baby, and stroke my bump quite a bit when she kicks, but I just feel absolutely ludicrous trying to talk to her!! I haven't asked DH to talk to her, because I think he'd feel just as silly. He does feel the kicks though, and always asks how she is IYSWIM.

Haven't even begun to consider playing her music etc, which I have now learned other people are doing... oh, dear, am I already destined to be a bad mother???

I'm getting worried that I'm not doing enough.

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nappyaddict · 03/01/2013 21:13

Never talked to, read to or sung to my bump. I play music anyway when doing housework etc and talk to other people ... same thing I reckon

I didn't really stroke my bump either ... am I weird? It actually gets on my nerves when I see pregnant people stroking their bump .. dunno why as it's a bit of an irrational thought!

AnathemaDevice · 03/01/2013 21:27

Never talked to any of mine, it never occured to me to even try it.

DS and DD have both taken to climbing into bed with me every morning, lifting up my pyjama top and shouting 'Good morning baby!' into my belly button. It'll be interesting to see if the baby reacts to their voices when s/he puts in an appearance.

I don't stroke my bump either. Just prod it occasionally to try and get it to move over when it gets too lopsided and uncomfortable.

Meglet · 03/01/2013 21:31

I think I only spoke to my bumps when they were hiccuping on my bladder.

Librarina · 03/01/2013 21:38

I'm only 17 weeks and I do occasionally say things to the bump, mostly when I'm a bit worried or when it's aching me I'll say "Come on, baby", I also stroke it all the time, which is a bit embarrassing. I think I do it because it doesn't feel entirely real and by saying things to myself helps it feel a little bit more so. I don't think the baby knows but I know it doesn't mind!

surfingbabies · 03/01/2013 21:40

I'm 39 weeks with number 4 and I'm always talking to it, I play baby einstein through a under pillow speaker and DC read and sing to it. My DP doesn't as much but he does while he's stroking my belly! We don't feel silly, in fact I feel it to be very normal.....
Just think it can hear you so it's not silly, it's your developing baby who will feel so comfortable when it joins you on the outside because it recognises yours and your DH voices so the more you talk/sing to it surely the better!
Try it & after a while it will just be normal for you......it might just feel silly as you've not done it before good luck xx

charlieexox · 03/01/2013 22:11

When i was pregnant i found it strange to begin with. But as the late night kicks and movements got more frequent i often spoke and sung to him. It was like our special time together.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 03/01/2013 22:47

I occasionally mutter under my breath "will you stop kicking me in the fanjo you little bugger" or other words of endearment, but other than that I have never spoken directly to the belly. I reckon the baby most definately knows the sound of your voice by the time it's born regardless of whether you talk to the belly or not!

edam · 03/01/2013 22:53

I used to pat my bump and whisper to the baby. Can't remember what about and only in the privacy of my own home!

pinkandyellowbutterfly · 04/01/2013 01:48

Yes I can imagine that would be a worry. Just bond with your bumpin a way that makes you feel comfortable, and that will make your baby feel comfortable too :-) Have you spoken to your midwife/doctor about your worries?

LeBFG · 04/01/2013 08:45

I occasionally mutter under my breath "will you stop kicking me in the fanjo you little bugger" or other words of endearment

Yep, that's the sort of thing I do . What's all this music thing about? Are people really falling for the mozart/brain thing? Really?

Twattybollocks · 04/01/2013 09:12

The music thing does work though, I have a bedtime song I sang to ds1, it always makes him fall asleep, even now at 8yo. When his baby sister arrived when he was 2 the first time i sang it to her in the hospital she immediately focused on me and watched me while I sang, she obviously recognised it!

IndridCold · 04/01/2013 11:08

When I was pregnant DH and I bumped into one of his old teachers in town. She was part Romany and she said that every night I should stroke the bump and say 'You are going to be a good baby and you are going to sleep every night'.

We did this several times, more as a joke than seriously, but all I can say is that DS was very good and was always a good sleeper!

Other than that there wasn't much in the way of conversation .

ep1977 · 04/01/2013 12:06

my dd is 3 now and i loved talking to my bump.. and singing to it all the time!!

PeshwariNaan · 04/01/2013 13:22

I don't. I think it's a bit weird. Sometimes I'll put music on and sing along for her, or DH will chat to her a bit. But we've had a stillbirth in the immediate family and won't really believe she's a baby per se until she's out and healthy. It's a terrible attitude but this is just how we feel about it.

PeshwariNaan · 04/01/2013 13:26

(And yes, for obvious reasons I do believe a bump is different than a baby.)

scissy · 04/01/2013 13:44

I'm currently 36 wks with DC1 and the only "chatting" I've done to bump is gentle 'encouragement' to turn around so I don't have a back-back labour!

MarriedToSonOfAPreacherMan · 04/01/2013 17:19

I didn't talk to mine much. She got a lot of music because I did a lot of singing and listening to music anyway; I didn't do it especially for her. Now she's out, she gets more talk because I just chat to her about whatever's going on, but less music (though I do sing to her sometimes) because I've had to give up choir for the moment. People say her babbling sounds musical, but who knows whether that's from exposure to music or just the genes?

Summersbee · 05/01/2013 12:51

When my second daughter was born, two 1/2 years after the first, she was always soothed straight away if we sang 'Hickory Dickory Dock' to her. I am still convinced that this was because she knew the song already from listening to it in the womb when my older daughter was singing it all the time! Singing and talking with little ones as they grow up is so worthwhile. Why not try sounds in other languages as early as possible too - have a look at 'counting to 10 in French with monkey online if you want some ideas - there's also counting to 10 in Spanish with monkey.

SnowyGrey · 05/01/2013 18:07

Only to my first bump

By the second bump, there were a million other things to do than chat to a bump

Same with lots of other things have gone by the wayside with no. 2, like filling in baby books, doing baby massage at bathtime, leisurely feeds...

Summersbee · 05/01/2013 18:17

Ah but I'm sure you were chatting to the end result of the first bump and the second bump was listening ..!

SnowyGrey · 05/01/2013 19:07

Good point well made Summersbee! Makes me feel a bit better that I didn't chat directly to bump 2!

Mawgatron · 05/01/2013 19:34

no bump chatter here either I'm afraid. I am a bit of a gobshite normally though, so mini me is probably sick of the sound of my voice already. As well as my two extremely vocal cats. I swear baby will be lulled to sleep by the dulcit tones of miaows and purring...

Blue81 · 05/01/2013 22:37

Hi, I am hearing impaired and its presumed to be genetic but tbh I don't think the docs really know. Try not to worry too much as unless there are a number of people in his family that are deaf, chances are your DH has a recessive gene and it wont be passed on.
Also if worst comes to the worst, there are lots of advances in treatments for deafness and your child can still live a full life.

I do know how worrying it is though, when my DS1 failed his newborn hearing test (due to gunk in his ear, he isn't deaf) my heart nearly stopped. I felt so sad that I had passed it on, luckily I hadn't but it was an awful feeling.

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your bump then don't. I don't think bump will care. I think that playing music or talking to the baby is actually more for the mothers benefit and indirectly the baby's as if you are calm and happy listening to music or relaxing and stroking your bump and nattering away then you are releasing happy hormones and baby obviously benefits too. So I really wouldn't worry about talking directly to your baby, just relax and enjoy music and baby will be happy regardless of whether s/he can hear it.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 05/01/2013 22:55

I talk to inanimate objects all the time - so talking to a 'bump'... I don't think I'd be able not to, if you paid me

I don't think it's nice to say either 'you have to' or 'it's stupid to' - both are very judgemental and unnecessary surely?!

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