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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Finding out the sex of your baby in advance - did you or didn't you?

40 replies

teacups · 17/04/2006 20:36

Just nosey really....

When I was pg with DD, I could not wait to find out what sex she was. First Q at my 20 weeks scan (and was told very crisply by the sonographer "we'll see about that!!" ). I was alone among my friends though - everyone else wanted the surprise on the day.

I am now TTC again and would find out the sex at the 20 week stage if we are lucky enough to be able to have another. Many of my friends are already pg and, again, have not / are not going to find out.

So, did you find out the sex of your baby before he / she arrived? Why did you make that decision? With the benefit of hindsight, did you make the right choice?

Thanks x

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lockets · 17/04/2006 23:02

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Sparklemagic · 17/04/2006 23:02

I found out, kind of as a reward to myself because I had to undergo an amnio and was bloody terrified! I was not a 'baby' person and had no gushy maternal feelings re: holding a baby, so finding REALLY helped me to bond, because it makes it more of a real person in there..we were able to really concentrate on finding a boys name aswell, which was really helpful as I liked so few boys names but liked loads of girls ones!

As it happened I had a very traumatic birth and was not conscious during delivery, nor was my husband in the room. So it's a nugget of joy for me that while the people in the operating theatre saw him and held him before me or DH, I still knew what I was having so I didn't miss EVERYTHING! So for me it was certainly the right decision.

Miaou · 17/04/2006 23:04

We can't find out here (sonographers will not tell you either at my local hospital or at the city one) - so if we wanted to find out we would have to have a private scan down in Edinburgh/Glasgow I should imagine. However I really didn't want to know with any of mine - and when we had detailed scans (family history of talipes and cleft palate) we asked them to turn the screen away if they were going down "that end"!

Really glad I didn't know when I was having ds - after two dds I was worried that I wouldn't bond with a boy - so if I'd known he was a boy without knowing him iyswim I think I would have intensified that worry. As it was, of course, I fell in love with him at first sight, but I would have heaped a lot of angst onto that moment of first meeting if I'd known his gender beforehand.

burstingbug · 17/04/2006 23:06

With our first child, we asked to know the sex and they were right, we did have a boy, but when we asked at this time at the 20wk scan the soniographer didn't give much away, she basically said it could be a boy but it's 50-50!
Like we didn't know that already!!!!

chjlly · 17/04/2006 23:07

We found out with both of ours although it was a case of having our thoughts on what we were having confirmed!

Pruni · 17/04/2006 23:07

I didn't because dh didn't want to, because my mum did want to (last vestiges of teenage rebellion there) and because tbh, and sorry, but finding out friends have had the baby when you know the sex isn't as exciting somehow. I know that's not logical but that's how it is for me.
However next time I want toknow, becuase it drove me crazy for 18 weeks not knowing when I could have.

lucykate · 17/04/2006 23:26

i found out both times, with dd, i had an amnio and asked. i just wanted to know and luckily so did dh. if one or other of us hadn't wanted to know, i wouldn't have asked but we were both in agreement. with ds, it was so obvious it was a boy, didn't have to ask. you can see his little todger clearly on the picture we got.

eidsvold · 18/04/2006 02:06

we found out with no1 - rather trying time of heart defect and down syndrome diagnosed antenatally and figured we wanted to know - dd1 did not co operate for most scans - finally obs was able to see but did not guarantee she would be a girl. We had already had a girl's name picked ( couldn't agree or find a boy's name we liked)- I was convinced dd1 would be a girl... and I was right. We wanted something positive to focus to take some of the worry about what was happening.

second time round - our UK hospital made it a policy that unless there was a history of gender related genetic conditions they would not tell the gender of the baby.

We moved to Aus when I was 19 weeks - aus hopsital - so different - you could see everything with your own screen BUT dd2 was not giving anything away - no matter how many scans we had. Old wives tales etc said dd2 would be a boy.... Did not ask at the 20 week scan - I asked about it at the 36 week scan - couldn't tell due to dd2's positioning. So it was a nice surprise to have dd2 arrive.

nightowl · 18/04/2006 03:10

yep, both times but strangely i already knew. first time i had a big feeling it would be a boy (i didnt care either way) but when i found out he was, i named him at 20 weeks . with the second, i realywanted a girl. at 19 weeks i found myself throwing out all ds's blue baby clothes...then i suddenly thought "what am i doing?, it could still be a boy". well, she wasnt a boy, i found out two weeks later. i wanted to know both times, im not big on surprises .

carla · 18/04/2006 06:29

I had an amnio and asked. Then I got a letter through and H went ape at the fact that I'd asked to be told.

jambuttie · 18/04/2006 07:30

with DS1 hospital policy not to tell you what you were having, I did ask as I had a difficult pregnancy but they still refused.

With the twins I found out what I was having at 20 weeks thankfully so I could prepare- they arrived at 29 weeks

cece · 18/04/2006 07:48

Didn't find out both times. Dh definite no and I was unsure. Glad I didn't in the end. I had a scan at 27 weeks with DS and the sonographer saked if I knew the gender - I said no and I didn't want to - she then turned the screen away, so sort of guessed it was a boy!

tegan · 18/04/2006 08:13

Didn't with first but did with second and would if I have a number 3.

Bobley · 18/04/2006 21:57

We have found out! We both wanted to know and I am not at all sad that we know!

It makes everything so much easier to plan, I know they can't be 100% correct but I know I saw little testicles!!!

My friends have said to me "You have just ruined the surprise of labour" but to us just meeting our little boy is exciting enough!

Linnet · 18/04/2006 22:34

I didn't ask when I was pregnant with dd1 she was a lovely surprise as I was convinced that she was going to be a boy.

When I was pregnant with dd2 we wanted to know. I had to have an amnio and they told me from the results that I was having another girl.

We didn't tell anyone else though, we kept it a surprise for our family and friends. They were all convinced I was going to have a boy, lol

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