Struggling to adjust to changing body

[boardingschoolbaby]

Hi, completely new to all this but just wanted to ask if others feel the same as me.
I am just over 18 wks with my first baby. Very wanted, and we have gone through several miscarriages to get this far.

My breasts are already 2 entire cup sizes larger (C to E) and I have a very visible bump. I expected to feel great and excited and proud of my bump but I just feel like a giant whale at the moment. Did/is anyone else feel like this, and how did you get your head around it and start to enjoy it?

Um, you are entirely normal, it's quite a shock.
Try to focus on the end goal. This is a process to a new permanent role in your life. You won't ever be the same person you were.

Something MN has taught me is how much self-esteem people attach to their physique. I imagine it's good to move away from that.

Do you just feel ungainly or do you feel unattractive (or both)?

I never really did enjoy my bump! It sounds sad but I was so happy to obviously have my baby in my arms but also not have the bump. I never missed it, some people do. I look after my bump but don't enjoy the feel of it, only when baby is moving I think of the positions she may be getting in and wonder what she looks like. I am not upset with my body shape, I don't have a particular dislike but see pregnancy as a practical body state to create new life. This is probably not what you want to hear! This is my experience though that I am sharing. Have you felt your baby move yet? Sometimes it just takes a bit of getting used to as your bump is still quite a new thing. Don't be put off by what I have said, a lot of people enjoy the changing shape and feeling of their bodies. I would have thought I am in the minority!

Most partners enjoy the enhanced bra cup size, it's something to cling to.

Watermelon tummy & waddling are a nuisance, but at least they are temporary.

Hi GrumpySod,

I know that you are right- I think I am just feeling sorry for myself (school holidays so time to wallow on such things). I never really thought of myself as being particularly bothered about my appearance (2 min make up routine and hair damp from the shower is how I usually eave my house) but I suppose I have always been reasonably sporty and so have never really had to think about my body before. I am just finding that I dont want my husband to touch me at the moment and although he is brilliant and always telling me how excited he is and kissing and cuddling me I am just finding that I feel desperately unattractive at the moment.
God I sound like such a loser! I am normally a rational and fully functioning human being I promise.

Hello.
Congratulations on your pregnancy

I felt the same as you. Years of minor body image issues meant I was really challenged by my body changing shape. The point you are at now was the hardest for me, up to maybe 24 wks when I had definite bump and didn't just look fat.

You may find you feel better in a few weeks. I would recommend eating well and avoiding the trap of eating too much cake/ chocolate 'because its ok, I'm pregnant' (lots of friends said this and regretted it later) to help post birth recovery. I didn't lose stacks of wt after birth as I seem to retain it for breastfeeding. It came off later with my first child. Hoping for the same this time.

Good luck

Although your body obviously has to change you can retain some element of control by eating healthily and exercising. I love my bump, but that is probably easier for me than some as the rest of me has stayed very toned and fit. I think I'd struggle if I became flabby and unfit as being active is important to me.

I found it very difficult to start with. I'm have weight issues most of my adult life. Growing so much - even for pregnancy - was incredibly difficult. I had to chose not to complian too much though and gradually it improved. Now I find it quite fascinating. Like gingerbread, I think it improved from about 22 weeks. I'm 24 weeks now and feel nicely pregnant!

I would reccomend nurturing your pregnant body - I'm applying bio-oil to try to prevent stretch marks. Interestingly, DH finds the application incredibly sexy! which makes me feel better about myself.

I found the 16-24 weeks period strange when pg as my bump wasn't that big (could easily have been too much cake!), my waist was disappearing, and I couldn't feel the baby very often so it felt a lot like I was just putting on masses of weight. But, it does get better as the bump gets bigger and you start to feel the baby move more. Do you have decent maternity clothes? I found that wearing nice flattering stuff made me feel much better than slobbing around in clothes that just didn't fit right.

Thanks all- good to hear that I am not the only one. Perhaps i will come round to it, but if I don't then as you say it is only for a few months and is a means to an end.

Maybe I am still readjusting to all the other changes- no more riding and rowing etc for a few months and instead civilised swims and yoga class taking their place.
Perhaps I just need to suck it up and get busy again!
thanks all, much appreciated.

Congrats on your pregnancy you are completely normal!
Around 18 weeks you are showing but not obviously pregnant I felt like I had just eaten too many pies and everyone around (work wise not friends) were too polite to ask if I was pregnant.
I love my bump but do feel the bump spread to hips and thighs a bit worrying (2nd baby 29 weeks) but can understand why women don't like it and even when you have a lovely big bump at the end the backache and pains make it hard to enjoy.
I am like you I used to be very active and I think the lifestyle change can make you paranoid about your expanding figure. If you can do some ante natal activities like swimming, yoga, walking even jogging if you were active before but check with doc or midwife. I have complications so have to sit on my bum and can't even swim or lift my toddler so think being stir crazy is making me feel fatter lol hope you feel better x x

I'm almost 16 weeks and can't wait to get a proper bump, so I would look obviously pregnant and not just fat.
Agree about nice maternity clothes, will make you look and feel better if you have comfortable and fitting clothes, not waistbands digging in and reminding you of the increasing waist.
Is rowing forbidden for some specific reason? I'm doing all my normal fitness classes, yoga would drive me nuts.

I absolutely second everyone saying a) keep active if you can and b) get some flattering maternity clothes!! I felt the same as you at the same stage (now 29w) as it's still hard to not feel just 'fat'... I have long suffered with body image issues like other posters so it was very tough to begin feeling and seeing my body change. I have dealt with it by moaning trying to keep as active as possible (not easy as I have mild PGP) and being careful not to over-eat foods that are bad for me. Also by (over) spending on some flattering and attractive maternity tops and dresses. Honestly it has been worth every penny as I can put something on in the morning and feel stylish and a little bit like my old self, with a bump as opposed to fat!! Ruching and fitted things help, as does layering...

I can't say I am absolutely living the weight gain, nor that I don't worry about how I will look afterwards. But I am amazed, given my lifelong issues, that the two tips above have allowed me to cope as well as I am.

Hope you're feeling better soon!! X

That should have been loving not living!!!

I'm feeling very fat too, am 31 weeks so have a decent sized bump but the thing that I didn't expect was so much back fat and the loss of my waist, I knew I wouldnt have a waist at the front but my sides have filled out and I feel like a bloke!

I know it's only going to get worse too as tri 3 is apparently when you really pack it on and get the stretch marks, all I am doing is believing my DH that he still finds me attractive, he seems to and our sex life is the same.
Plus keeping focused on having my daughter at the end of it.

I've worked really hard the last 6 months to lose weight, 2 stone, so starting to bloat and put weight on (partly Xmas and partly stress-eating and partly cause the idea of veg and fruit makes me feel sick!)

I'm finding it really hard, clothes that I was about to give away as they were far too big for me are being gradually taken back out of the bag, and the lovely new clothes I bought as I slimmed down now barely fit

I feel fat and flabby and just ugh.

I'm with worsetershire - keeping fit and active has really helped me feel good about changing shape - and trying to eat as healthily as possible.