Just got a BFP....

[Starfishkiss]

...and cried my eyes out!

I have been waiting to TTC for so long; planning when we want to start (August time probably) etc, and planning what things we need to get in place beforehand, lurking on the BFP and TTC threads, getting REALLY jealous when friends announce their pregnancies/births etc. But certainly wasn't ready now!

We have one gorgeous DS already and I always wanted him to be 3 or 4yo by the time we have number 2 - But he'll be just 2.5.

I also NEED to be back to full time hours so that I can pay off debts incurred on last maternity, and save up enough to afford this maternity leave - and I'm still on just 3 days with no ability to increase hours yet. :-(

I am also about 2 stone overweight from last pregnancy (and enjoying this last yr a bit too much!) so wanted to lose weight before TTC - now I'm going to be a huge fat pregnant person! :-(

I wanted to enjoy this fun year of my DS's life, potty training him etc, but am now going to be enormous! :-(

I was going to be going shopping this morning to get some beautiful new clothes and shoes with Xmas money after living in old maternity clothes etc for ages - but there's no point now is there! :-(

I've been feeling pregnant for the last week or so and had a nagging feeling I might be pregnant (after just one careless night of DTD by the way). So I POAS last week and had a BFN, but wasn't actually due until Boxing Day, so used second stick just now and got a BFP! (Are these things ever wrong???)

Oh I should be so happy and over the moon but I feel so sad and stressed and confused! :-( And just want to cry and cry.

• Actually, I think the main reason I'm so upset is because I'm mourning the loss of my 'perfect' conception and the pregnancy that I was planning to have? Is that weird?

Can anyone tell me it's all going to be ok? I do tend to believe in the saying 'it all happens for a reason' but I just can't see it at the moment.

Sorry it was so long, I really needed to get this down. Thanks!

Desperate bump!

Aw Hun, everything WILL be fine! So things don't always go to plan but maybe a smaller age gap will be better for you in the long run, the kids will play with the same stuff and will play together a lot of the time, I have an age gap of 4 years between my first two and this time the age gap will be almost 3 years, so I do know what you mean.
I'm a firm believer that although we have some extent of control, things do happen for a reason and you will be able to adjust everything around your pregnancy.
Smile Hun :) x

Congratulations! Sit down with a pen and paper and figure out how you're going to make this stuff work. You're hormonal and stressed but this is a good thing, a blessing, honestly.

Aww I am in the same boat. Only I found out 4 weeks ago that I'm pregnant. I'm 7 weeks pregnant now. I was horrified and still not come to terms with it. I haven't even told the doc yet and arrange midwife appointment, with my ds I skipped to the docs as soon as I found out!

Ds is 1 year old (just) and is going to be 20 months when I have this baby. I feel so guilty, even now. Suffer with morning sickness and am soooo tired, could sleep for a week. My dp is being great, brew imbed before I get up, even had a little lie in this morning and was awoken with tea and toast! Am coming down with a cold too which is making me feel rubbish.

I wanted to wait until ds was school age so that I could spend the same time with baby as I did with ds. I'm so racked with guilt that my ds is not going to get the attention he deserves when the baby is here and how we're going to afford it god only knows. We don't have family nearby and childcare fees are crippling.

I was that lost about the whole thing I considered an abortion , had the booking in appt but just couldn't go through with it.

I read a great article about 2 under 2 which basically said that the first 2 years will be a living hell. But after that, your life will be so much easier as your dc will be the best eating friends and will entertain each other for hours whilst you trawl through mumsnet cook and clean in peace!!

Good luck with everything

Bestest of friends.......they're not going to eat each other!! Stupid iPhone!

congratulations!

It'll be fine, you'll manage :)

Do you have a mortgage? Some mortgage providers offer mortgage holidays for maternity leave. Mine did although they didn't advertise it, we found out by accident. We took the maximum time, and so simply didn't pay the mortgage for 6 months. It made a massive difference to us - worth asking about maybe?

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I just logged on to say that although it's not what you wanted or planned, 2.5 years is a lovely age gap IMO. My nephews are 2.5 years apart and are the best of friends, they share a big group of friends and have lots in common.

I thought it would be hard on the oldest when his little brother was born but he was at just the right age to 'help out' fetching nappies and it was so good for him to feel involved. He also got spoiled rotten by he rest of the family so he didn't feel too left out.

I am in the same boat as you regarding weight as well. I really wanted to try to lose some of the weight that has crept on before ttc, but it didn't happen as i was so worried about whether I would be able to get pregnant so decided the sooner the better. I am a bit worried about going to the midwife but will just have to brazen it out. I am quite small everywhere except my tummy, and really don't want to draw attention to what I manage to hide quite well in normal life!

I am sure you will come to terms with the shock and start to feel excitement, it is wonderful news.

Thanks for your comments everybody, particularly you airfryer as its good to hear from someone going through the same thing! The mortgage break idea is interesting, I've actually got a review with the bank on the 5th so I'll bring it up then! Yep your probably right Norks, I'm probably just all hormonal?!

I have just got back from a lovely long walk where we talked about the situation, and, whilst there were even more problems uncovered (fees for 2 DC in nursery FT!), it was good to also think about the positives and allow myself to remember that I have been wanting to get pregnant for a while now, and whilst the timing isn't quite right it doesn't change the fact that I will love this new baby sooo much!
Gosh I'll be due in September!

It doesn't all feel real at all, maybe because I'm so scared about it all?

It such a polar opposite to last time, like u say, I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant and marched down to the GPs straight away. Is it really bad that I'm not ecstatic this time?

Also I don't think it helps that I'm absolutely terrified of the actual labour, after a traumatic birth with my DS. I think I'll have to have see what my midwife says maybe?

Oh god ill have a 'midwife' again!

Thanks for your lovely message Trenchcoat, how far along are you now then? Is it your second too?

I felt exactly the same as you when I found out I was expecting DC3! I am 11+5wks now and feeling a little more happy but still very very worried as I have not told any family yet (besides DH of course) and I have not told work, will start telling people after dating scan. The thing is I just returned to work in October after having a year off for mat leave!!!! My DS2 is 14 months, will be 21 months when DC3 is due!! This pregnancy was not planned and just one accident and now I'm pregnant....It took me a year to conceive DS2!!!!
I didn't do a test untill my period was a week late and didn't make an appointment untill I was 8 weeks because part of me just did not to accept that this is really happening!! I was so so happy when expecting DS1 and 2 but I am not overly happy or excited this time and I feel so guilty for feeling like this but I am hoping I will feel better after my dating scan (which will not be untill I am 14wks because I left it so long to go see the midwife...my booking in appointment will be at 13wks).
Good luck to you and congratulations, everything will be ok.