18 years old - advice/support needed!!

[PhieEl06]

First time posting on anything like this and I am actually feeling nervous so you may have to excuse some typos!!

I found out last week I was pregnant, after a visit to the docs I could be anywhere between 4 and 8 weeks (lack of regular periods due to PCOS), this couldn't have come as more of a shock, especially as I'm 18, on the pill & not at all feeling ready. My boyfriend is 22 and when I told him, he did slightly freak out, however since finding out he has been nothing but supportive and has been fantastic, we're both quite young and this is rather scary and daunting for us, we're lucky in the sense that my family have been great said that they'd support me however they can and I am in a good full time job for my age.

I'd really like to know if anyone else was in mine or a similar situation near to my age? How they managed/coped? As right now as happy as I am to be in this position I am terrified of what's to come!

I was as young as you when I had my first child and my hubby is a year younger than me and was at 6th form college. Money was very tight and we didn't have family support like you, but everything was fine.

We went on to have two more children in the following three years and never regretted it for a moment. It was really nice to be young and energetic when the children were little. I think it would be much harder now I am older.

Now my boys are all teenagers and my hubby and me are older we have gone on to have another baby and are currently expecting our fifth. It is def much more tiring now than when I was young.

I had my first child at 18 too, I know how terrifying it can be.

However, it can work out. I'm now 29 and have three children and it all turned out fine. My husband has a good job, I am studying a post-grad course and will hopefully have a good job in the future, we own a nice house in a nice area and are very happy.

Getting to this point has been no bed of roses, we've had our hard times. Financially, it was a big struggle for a long time and it was hard being judged every 5 minutes when I was younger but I soon developed a thick skin. If you work hard and be positive you can still achieve whatever you want in life, not all teen parents are what the tabloids portray!

Having a supportive partner and family is good, my family weren't always there for me and it was difficult. Lean on them when you need to. MN is a great place so post here if you have worries or questions, there's always someone who has been through similar and can offer good advice.

Best of luck, you'll be fine.

I was 17 when I became pregnant with my partner of 5 months, he was 19, it was such a shock but he promised to support me, I had a job and he had a good job too. I was 18 when I had him. It was hard been young and you suddenly realise who your real friends are, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. When I was 20 I gave birth to my 2nd baby boy, and now at 22 I'm expecting my 3rd, theres 2 years 4 months between my oldest and my youngest little boy, and there will be 2 years 4 months between my little boy and this baby. Me and my partner are still together, it is hard it is tiring but I'm glad its turned out this way, and while I'm young I have plenty of energy to keep up with them as there little terrors lol, I'm still getting sleepless nights but I've adapted to that.

Good luck everything will be fine don't worry :) xx

Thanks for all your support, it's made me feel more relaxed in the knowledge that I know I can do it. I really worry myself over the silly things such as how I'd be perceived by society, not all young parents are "scum", this was that last position I expected myself to be in and it's so good to hear others have been in the same. And I know how much of a financial struggle it will be, it's a good job I'm getting a raise in the new year!!

I feel pregnant with my 1st at 17, my boyfriend was 24.. very unexpected but we were over the moon, we lost our baby boy at 23 weeks on April 6th 2012. He's defiantly the best thing that happened to us and even though it was so sad, it was amazing to meet him.

Turned 18, boyfriend turned 25 in june
We then tryed again in June found out i was pregnant lost baby at 7 weeks August 17th 2012.

Then fell pregnant again and found out Tuesday I lost my baby at 7 weeks so have surgery tomorrow to remove baby..

You've got to weigh up the pro's and con's... financial support, could you cope if you terninated?

Trust me if you want to keep baby, it will be one of the greatest things that could happen in your life, make sure you make the decision because its your body that has to go through with it...

Anyway congratulations and I hope you do what you think is best

I was 18 when I was pregnant with my first dc, my partner was about the same age as your DP. I wasn't working though, I was in my first year at Uni and I had no family support. I was terrified whilst pregnant but when he arrived honestly I'd say I coped quite well and loved being a mum. I finished 4 years of uni too with a little one. It's not that scary once they're here and I'd do it all over again if I was given the choice.

Oh and I'm now 25 and expecting my 2nd, I couldn't be more excited! :o

I was 18 when I had my first dc and at uni. Boyfriend was from home and we had been together since I was 16. It was very hard financially and I was very self conscious of how people viewed me as a young mum, but I had great support from my family. So so glad we went through with it, ds is now nearly 10 and amazing, I managed to graduate from uni, my boyfriend set up his own business and we have gone onto have another 4 dc together and finally tied the knot last year.

I was 17 when I fell pregnant, 18 when DS was born. Now 21 with a three year old. Since having him have also been diagnosed with PCOS, and possible endo, so I truly believe it happened at the right time for me.

I'm a single mum, money is tight, and my life has totally changed. Wouldn't swap it for the world. I trained as a breastfeeding peer supporter to help out other young breastfeeding mums, I now run the local breastfeeding group, which is wonderful, and although my life has not gone in the direction I could have imagined it taking before falling pregnant, it is certainly a more amazing one.

It is tough, but I think it is tough however old you are. And there is still some stigma towards younger mothers, though frankly you just develop a thick skin.

Hi there, I can't comment on your age as I had my first at 36 and due my 2nd at 41. What I can say is sod anyone that makes you feel bad about yourself or your situation. I know from experience now that having a child is the most amazing thing in the world and I assure you you will smile every single day for one thing or another that your little one does. I spend my time worrying I'm too old and do have moments of wishing I had my children younger so I have more time to spend with them. You sound very mature for your age and I heard something a short while ago that I think is very true. "What is meant for you will not pass you by"
Good luck and enjoy every second x

I forgot I started this thread now, hehe baby brain or what?!
Thank you so so much for all your kind comments, reading them has certainly made me smile & feel more at ease. As an update, I am 11 weeks today, due 22nd July (that's what they've told me so far anyway), feeling much more comfortable with the whole situation, just need to tell BF's parents now & will feel very calm.

I'm 20 and just had my first baby 19 weeks ago and I would not change her for the world I also have pcos and got told I could never have children so finding out was a huge shock! ( a year ago tomorrow actually) but I would not change my life or wait until I was older for anything she is amazing and completes my life, her smile giggles everything is worth it all yes it can be very hard at times and I've had days I've cried but there's more smiles then there is tears for me anyway!

If you need a chat feel free to inbox me xx

Hi,

Like you I'm 18, and having my first with my boyfriend who's 21.
As long as you have support of those who matter - partner, parents and family then nothing else should matter!

I was on the pill when I got pregnant (didn't work, as I wouldn't be posting today!) but at the end of the day, if you feel like you're strong enough to be a mother then you are capable of anything. Your age will be irrelevant once your baby is here, and also ignore the crap that people will say to you, as it'll upset you and isn't worth listening too!

I'm due in may, and am having a girl. I can't keep out of doctors or hospitals, but that's because of various reasons! Just look after yourself, get enough vitamins in you, and take folic acid!!! (Holland and Barrett do good ones if you don't like tablets!)

Congratulations x

Hi all, I feel a little overwhelmed by the support on here, everyone is so friendly! Thanks Twitchy & Ellie I can understand the shock of it, but I am excited already!
Pritchyx I hope all is well! Already some people who I have told have upset me with things they have said, some people can be very judgemental but it's my life choice, & one I feel very happy in making.

All on here have made me feel so much more at ease, I don't feel so alone no more!