second mmc

[mrsL1984]

Morning, on tuesday i found i had endured my second mmc, after 4 years since my first one. i had a removal of conception on friday, i have had my husband and good friend look after me all weekend since i was dicharged from hospital and today is the first day on my own as he has gone back to work. he has only been gone an hour and i dont know what to think or feel.
????!!! my friends tell me im brave and strong but inside im dying. i never thought in a million years i would endure another mmc but i did, and the sad thing is nobody knows why a lady has to feel something so badly in which something should be so memorable and special. nothing worse in the world in wanting something so badly and u cant have it. 4 years is a long time to have waited and nature cruelly took her away. i was 6/40 and i know ive said her, but it was my baby and i just cant bear to think of her only as an embryo. i just dont know how im going to get passed this this time!

I am so sorry this awful loss has happened for you and twice is unthinkable!
I'm sure your friends and family are right to say you're strong and it is good they have looked after you.
That said you are absolutely entitled to feel awful this is a terrible thing to have to endure.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to and take care

thank you for taking the time to reply to this, means something that somebody somewhere is reading this and your not just talking to yourself. i guess with feelings like this its just a case of dealing with every day as it comes as much as thats a cliche!

So sorry you are going through this a second time, it's terribly unfair. Take care of yourself and you are allowed to break down if you need to xx

My darling I'm so so sorry you're having to go through this. I just cannot imagine how difficult it must be. Maybe it would help that when friends say you're being strong, explain that you're not and that it's eating you up inside. Then they can offer the helping hand you might just need.

xx

will try and be more honest with them!! sometimes its just too dam hard!!! xx

mrsL1984

Hello. I also had a miscarriage last week. I know how must be feeling. I felt awful, I hid in my room and cried and cried. It was also my second miscarriage, but this time seemed worse that last time. I thought I was having a girl too, and I had even picked out a name. It is very real at whatever point you are in your pregnancy. I found the whole experience totally physically and emotionally draining. I do feel emotionally stronger now, but still quite tired.

I did find speaking to people on Mumsnet helpful too. Take care of yourself. Don't feel afraid to tell your friends how you are feeling. Last time I bottled things up more, and I have found speaking more to my DH about it and explaining to him what I am am going through helpful as he seems to understand a bit better. Last time he did not 'get' it at all.

I am so so sorry that you are going through this. Big hug xxxxx

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, and for a second time too. So unfair. I agree with previous posters that you need to go with your emotions and don't bottle them up. Your friends and family are trying to make you feel better the only way they know how but opening up to them when you're ready will mean that they'll be able to do that much more to help. I know that that must be difficult to do though.
Take care of yourself and take all the time you need.
We are all thinking of you x

Cross post sorry- you take care of yourself too. So sorry for your losses x

i dont have any experiance in mmc but i just wanted to say sorry for your loss. x

Today I thought I was having a
Good day then all of a sudden I feel really low and tired and I took myself
Off to bed at 6pm!!! I went into work today and had a chat with my work mates and thought I was ready to go back then I get pains in my tummy and then I know I'm not ready! I wish hormones and feelings were straight forward xxx

Sorry you're having such a hard time. Feelings are so complicated, you did well to go to work so don't be too hard on yourself if it highlighted how low you feel. You tried and won't feel like this forever X

Mrsl don't be hard on yourself. What you're going through is such a tough thing to deal with. Give yourself permission to take as much time as you need and to do whatever you need to do to feel a bit better. Hugs x

Today has been very hard! I feel like I've hit the emotional wall can't explain why but it started when my gp receptionst was rude to me and I was embarrassed by her! I cried all day and then just managed to pull myself together and then the most lovely bunch of flowers came from the girls at work an then I started again!!! Emotions! I just feel a wreck and feel nobody around me understands:-(

Hi Hun, it's so so unfair and I don't feel enough support is out there for women in this situation. I miscarried in Dec 06again in August 07. I couldn't believe it had happened again. I also think I miscarried in the November before doing a positive test. I then went on to have my son in August 08. We tried again and i miscarried last year and I was then told due to my age (41) I would only have a 50:50 chance of carrying again. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and still I worry every day that I won't get this baby. I don't know about you but I got pig sick of hearing how common it is and "won't necessarily happen again". Aargh I felt once I saw that blue line that was it, I was due a baby and planned many things in my mind and then felt totally robbed. It's very sad and I do feel for you at this time, please get counselling if it helps but also know it does get easier and you will get your special bundle one day. Be kind to yourself and take care. I mentioned on another post something I heard recently and I think it's very true. "What is meant for you will not pass you by" x

Since my first miss in 2008 we have been trying and 18months ago we got told we needed Ivf because I have a low ovarian reserve! My egg quality isn't great so I think maybe that means I'm at higher chance of having a miss??(maybe wrong) so this conception was natural as I'm a long way off having Ivf due to my raised bmi! But my biological clock is ticking I only have approx 2 1/5 years worth of eggs left! I'm fed up to the back teeth people telling me "at least u can get pregnant" yes I can, nobody said I couldn't it just be harder as they don't know when I ovulate!!! Yes I got pregnant twice but they were 4 years apart, does that mean I have to wait 4 years again? When I have no eggs!!! Biology has so many unanswered questions for me!!! I wish I knew :-( ..... Thanks for everyone's kind words sometimes its easier to be more frank and tell your feelings to people u don't know x

Hi my sympathies again, don't know if you've tried the ovulation testing kits. Because of my age I felt time was running out and got the little sticks from eBay for a few quid. I caught the first month of using them, unfortunate miscarried but when I felt ready to try again I used them and caught on the 2nd month and now 34 weeks pregnant. After last years miscarriage the midwife told me I would be highly fertile for the next 6 months so as much as its the last thing on your mind it maybe worth applying some stubbornness to the situation. After my 2nd miscarriage in 07 I was prescribed super high 5mg folic acid and went on to have my son. Last years I didn't get much chance to take the folic acid before miscarriage but certainly had it my system this time round and also prescribed 75mg dissolvable aspirin daily. I'm sure you've had the relevant info from your consultant but thought I'd throw in what's worked for me, oh and I also had a session of reiki to eliminate bad energy and when his hands where near my groin it went very warm/hot. Not saying it did anything but I was ready to try anything. Stay strong hun x