Pregnancy support after July miscarriage - advice please...

[OvenReady]

Hi all,

I had a MMC back in July, was 2 days away from my 12-week scan, had to FIGHT the EPAU to get a scan on a Monday morning after a weekend of bleeding and NO help whatsoever. Anyhoo, I have FINALLY got my BFP, am just 4 weeks and a couple of days in and am mixed with excitement and anxiety. Hoping to hell it doesn't happen again.

In the meantime, I wondered what I can expect from the NHS in terms of support? I'm 43, have a two-year old DS who was conceived without any problems. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow to get the ball rolling, and I have booked a private scan for the end of week 7. I don't want to leave anything to chance. Will I get extra 'help', monitoring etc, or will I (as I fear) be left to get on with it? What should I be asking for, looking out for, questioning, demanding?!??

I always find you don't know what you SHOULD have asked until too late, you learn the hard way. This will be the last time trying for a sibling for my DS so I don't want to miss anything.

Mostly I'm relaxed and excited, but my 12-week scan will fall around the due date for the baby I lost, beginning of Feb, and that scares the 'eeep' out of me. Don't really wanna be in that hell hole (hospital) being scanned, waiting for 'news', when I should be celebrating a new baby!

I'm going to try and keep it all very low key for a while, though I will tell my employer in the New Year about the pregnancy so she appreciates the 'stress' I might be going thru (she knows about the miscarriage and, thank god, is a very understanding woman).

Why is this so hard?!

Any advice gratefully appreciated.
xx

It seems to depend on your PCT as to whether you will be offered any additional support. I had a mc in Oct/Nov and, on asking, I was told I would not be offered anything extra the next time unless I had any bleeding or cramping. I think this is usual for a lot of PCTs and the extra care only kicks in if you have had 3 mcs.
Congratulations on being pg, hopefully I will join you soon :)

Hi BK,

Thanks - I figured that would be the case. I won't be holding my breath for extra support then - my PCT seem to always be 'snowed under' ... sigh.

Good luck to you - hope you get that BFP soon.
xx

Many congrats ovenready. Very exciting times.

It may not be the answer you're hoping for but I'm not sure that you will get any formal additional support as such. I've had 3 MCs and the only extra i've had was an early scan at 6-7 weeks, this was booked via the recurrent miscarriage clinic. I will be having another at 8+2 but this is only because I've been bleeding .

Having said that hopefully your community midwives will be sensitive to your situation and will give you the extra emotional support that you need through this pregnancy.

Please try not to stress and put too much pressure on yourself. The chances are that this pregnancy will be fine and apart from eating healthily, taking your multivitamins etc there is little you can do to influence the outcome.

Good luck and many congrats again.

Cheers Jollyb - the midwives are lovely, I will utilise their services as much as poss!
xx