Scared of the 20 week scan... What if I'm just fat?

[purrpurr]

Our 20 week scan is on 19th December. I'm getting really scared that the baby may have died weeks ago, or there'll be nothing in there at all. I'm 18 weeks at present and I haven't felt any movement yet, and I don't really have any symptoms of being pregnant anymore, other than the bump itself. My boobs were so sore for weeks and now don't hurt at all, my skin has calmed down, I'm not suffering with any of the complaints I had before, basically. I know this should be a good thing, but I'm really scared.

I haven't had any bleeding or spotting or anything, but with all the symptoms suddenly vanishing, I just feel a bit fat but otherwise normal. I hope that everything's ok and the scan is reassuring, but I think I'm more scared of the 20 week scan than I was for the 12 week one, which is ridiculous, isn't it? Am I going round the bend? Is anyone else scared too?

Sorry you are feeling so anxious & worried. Have you called your MW? They will be able to detect baby's heartbeat using a Doppler now so will be able to reassure you before our scan. I'm sure everything is fine.

I felt exaaaactly the same as you and everything was fine. All your symptoms disappear and it's hard to feel them moving so early - I didn't know what I was feeling but it didn't seem to be the 'fluttering' that everyone else describes! What I used to get was a feeling like I had that popping candy going off in my stomach, just the odd bit to start with and more as time went on. Really easy to not feel it or think it's wind.

I felt the same too. A very strange time, when your symptoms have pretty much disappeared but you can't feel any movement. I was amazed at how much Nipperette was moving during the scan, I felt sure I should be feeling it all!
Chances are all will be fine.

Thanks for the supportive comments! Glad to know it's not just me. I've booked an appointment with the midwife tomorrow. Are you allowed to just ask them to listen for a heartbeat, then? I've seen several different midwives and they've all been really bothered about the paperwork but didn't seem arsed about me, no enthusiasm or even politeness, a real sense that they do this all the time and what's another pregnant woman, pffft... To go in to see a midwife and actually make a big deal out of the fact that I'm pregnant and excited about it, and scared, by asking for the heartbeat to be listened to seems like it'll get cats bum mouth.

Can they say no?

Please don't think you're being daft - I was exactly the same at about 15 weeks. The symptoms all stopped and I panicked. I was lucky that we had a Doppler and so could hear the heartbeat to act as a reassurance.

Speak to your midwife and express your concerns. She might be able to fit you in to let you hear the heartbeat. Just tell her you're suddenly feeling very odd and if she's got time to see you I'm sure she'll have you in.

Be prepared for the MW to say it is too early to hear the heartbeat with a doppler. I had my 16 week MW appt at 17+1 and they wouldn't even try to hear it because they said often they can't at this stage, which can cause unneccessary worry.

But it's definitely worth a try - just don't take it that the MW doesn't care if she won't listen for it.

And no - you're not being ridiculous. I feel the same anxiousness about my 20 week scan! But do remember that it's not unusual for symptoms to fade at this stage (it's meant to be the bloomin stage for many women afterall ).

i brought a hi bebe doppler from ebay and could find the heartbeat myself from 10 weeks - it was fab!

I was the same as you before my 20 week scan. Didn't feel sick, boobs not sore, no movements... it made me irrationally nervous.

I think all midwives must be either very overworked or very uncaring as I have yet to come across one who was even remotely helpful or sympathetic. I hope you find a nice one who will check the heart beat for you.

You aren't being ridiculous to be anxious at all - in the second trimester, the symptoms tend to disappear and that lull before you can feel proper movements is really scary. Your MW should be able to at least try to listen for heartbeat now though - sometimes it takes a while if baby is hiding at the back, especially if you have an anterior placenta, but they should try for your reassurance as much as anything else.

You could always poas!

You might start to feel movements in the next week or two. I was worried about 17 weeks about the up and coming scan as I couldn't feel anything yet, but by the actual scan date, I could feel ds moving. Just happened overnight.
Don't worry

Well I went to see the midwife this afternoon - she was SO lovely! I've only met four so far, but she was amazing. She asked me how I was, and I said, well, I'm great - and I'm worried because of that. Straight away she said well let's have a listen. She found the baby's heartbeat pretty quickly - had a feel to see where the baby was, then located it straight away. When I then said, my husband's going to kill me - the first midwife appointment he's not attended and I get to hear the heartbeat for the very first time - she told me to go get my phone to record it for him!!

I've now got a recording of my baby's heartbeat - woosh woosh woosh - on my laptop. How's that for reassurance! I feel SO much better :D

Purr that's wonderful! So pleased you feel better for the reassurance.