Miscarrying on the NHS

[Sallybrids]

Hi. Just looking for some support really. I am meant to be nearly 8 weeks pregnant but a scan today confirmed that the pregnancy failed at about 4 weeks. This is the third baby we have lost in 18 months.

The first was a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. The hospital could offer no help for 5 days so we 'chose' to miscarry naturally at home. This was a traumatic experience for us both and I ended up in absolute agony when the sac got stuck. Eventually got help with that but struggled to get over ti psychologicallyt.

Second baby was diagnosed with Edwards syndrome at 13 weeks. This time we chose medical management and I went through labour to deliver our daughter at 14 weeks. Again, the experience was incredibly traumatic. I had retained products and had to have an erpc three weeks later.

This time we were determined to have an erpc so that I could avoid the pain and distress of miscarrying either medically or naturally. I just want to get through it as quickly as possible.

However, today we were told that this wasn't possible. The pregnancy is in such early stages that they will not do the erpc under a general anaesthetic, only under a local which I cannot stand the thought of. How can I be awake as they remove my baby from me whilst sitting in a chair with stirrups? That could only be done on Friday at the earliest. I refused that method of treatment as the thought of it upset me so much.

So, our only 'choice' is to have the medical management. At first they told us that we would have to wait until Sunday to have the first tablets and then miscarry on Tuesday, more than a week to wait. We made it pretty clear that we weren't happy with that and they managed to 'squeeze us in' for Friday so will miscarry on Sunday which is still 6 days after they have ascertained that the pregnancy has failed. The EPAU nurse was beside herself with frustration at not being able to organise anything sooner as she could see how traumatised we have been by our previous experiences, but there was nothing she could do except book is in for Friday.

Sorry for the rant... I guess what I'm asking is if anyone else has heard of a hospital not dong the erpc under general for early stage pregnancy failure. And also if people have had to wait so long to get treatment. Basically, I have been sent home with a dead baby inside me until Sunday. 6 days. Unless I miscarry in the meantime and lose my baby down the toilet. It really feels like they are almost hoping I miscarry naturally at home by myself, it would be cheaper that way and less of a strain on their resources.

I am terrified of miscarrying at home, terrified of going through medical management again but unable to 'choose' any other way.

I'm so sorry, I've no advice really as my loss was an ectopic so I'm no help to you really.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss and offer you a hand to hold.
It's just shit.
Hope someone with some better knowledge than me comes along.
Xx

I am so sorry for your losses but wanted to say I have had 2 mcs at 6 and 7 weeks and they were not much different from a heavy period. Because this was an early mc it may not be anywhere near as bad, physically, as your previous experiences. I didn't need painkillers. The psychological and emotional side took much more dealing with.

Just wanted to say that to try and ease your mind. NHS provision for mc is pretty appalling

So sorry for your losses. I have had 2 losses at around 7-8 weeks and 1 at around 5 weeks. I miscarried all of them naturally and as funcham says they were not much worse physically than a very heavy period at that stage. I would imagine that the risks involved in having a general anesthetic are the reason why the hospital won't offer one for an early miscarriage. Also from my own research ERPC may damage womb lining which could cause probs in future pregnancies so I wanted to avoid that if possible.
I completely understand you being terrified based on your past experiences but physically it is likely to be a lot easier this time. Its the mental/emotional side that will be hard but that will be the same however the pregnancy ends. I hope you have lots of real life support through this awful time.

FWIW I went on to have a ruptured ectopic after my miscarriages but I still managed to get (and finally stay!) pregnant again and am now 28 weeks gone with DC2 so please don't give up hope - wishing you lots of luck for the future. Xx

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've experienced the hell of recurrent miscarriage and can identify with the feelings you have. I felt absolutely crushed each time we found out and the waiting for nature to take its course can feel endless and until that happens, you cannot move on emotionally or physically.

My experience of earlier miscarriages is similar to that of the other ladies - the earlier it happens, the easier it is to deal with physically once it starts. I was never able to identify the baby at this early stage and it felt like a heavy painful period. The pain was unpleasant but not unmanageable and somehow that kind of pain mirrored how I felt emotionally. Sounds weird, but that helped. I hope that offers you some reassurance on the physical process.

Take time to recharge physically and emotionally and perhaps seek referral to a specialist unit such as the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic at St. Mary's hospital, London. I lost 5 babies to miscarriage but am now at 35weeks. It sounds cliched, but just remember to take one day at a time.

I do hope you get the support you need and wish you success next time round.

This is not much in the way of comfort, but the earliest two of my mcs (6 weeks roughly) involved some pain, heavier bleeding than normal, and a few bits of clot-like blood. No sac as I saw with later one.

I got a quicker erpc another time as they sent me to another hospital in the same region (as longer wait at local one) - wonder could you ask about that?

So sorry to hear about your loss, Sally. I had a natural MC in July at 8 wks. EPAC said they'd prefer the embryo to pass naturally as my body would treat is as a 'period' and get back on track. They said they only intervene if things don't progress on their own as it can cause a bit more trauma/have to wait a bit to ttc again. As the others have said, it wasn't any more painful than a heavy period (the kind we often get in teen years). The emotional pain was a different matter. I started cramping and bleeding on the Monday and passed the embryo on the Wednesday. I totally get how emotionally painful it is but for me, at least, it felt more natural to let nature take its course. Probably not much help but wanted to let you know another's personal experience. and wishing you future success. Xx

We generally give people all 3 choices but if the size of the pregnancy tissue/sac is less than 20-25mm then the risks of ERPC outweigh the benefits. It's likely in a small diameter sac that some tissue will be missed then you would have had the risks of the anaesthetic & the surgery without any benefit & if small medical mgt is much more likely to work. Not sure if this applies to you but if it does it might help explain it a bit. X

Hi.
I hear what you are saying as i have had lots of miscarriages and ended up in hospital for pain control with them all.
All before 13 weeks. I needed gas and air, morphine and pethidine as i literally laboured with them for between 10-16 hours for each.

I have had "natural" miscarriages..out of choice. Knew at 7 weeks, but did not miscarrry until 13 weeks. This was horrific.

I have also had medical management. I chose this on several occasions because they all took place in hospital, planned, controlled and was given the pain relief when i needed it.

I never had surgical intervention as i didnt want the anaesthetic tbh.

It is aginy to have to wait. It is traumatic and there is absolutely nothign anyone can do or say to make it easier. Its a painful process that will live with you for ever. It has for me.

Im not saying accept the way things are going, but i am saying take it as it comes. Bite size trauma is better than full on shit loads.

Hugs my lovely xxxx