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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When and how long should DH book off for birth?

17 replies

fidol · 02/12/2012 23:05

DH works offshore 4weeks on 4weeks off. He's going to ask for 6weeks off around my due date but not sure if its best my due date falls in the middle of this or nearer the start? If I go early it's nearly impossible for him to get home at short notice but if I'm late he might only have a week or so before he's away again. Any advice? Thanks

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Original poster

fidol · 04/12/2012 00:08

Bump...

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NatashaBee · 04/12/2012 00:43

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curiousuze · 04/12/2012 06:39

Can he only come off the rig if his back-to-back is available or can he not get next chopper if he needs to? Although if he's 4 on 4 off does that mean he's outside uk?

LiquidLunch · 04/12/2012 06:52

Is it two weeks paternity and four weeks holiday?

I'd book the four week holiday for around your due date. Paternity leave you don't have to book, you can start it when you need it (I think). So if baby came early or late, he could take his paternity when it suits.

EdithWeston · 04/12/2012 06:58

Who will be with you if labour starts really early? If you have supportive people on hand, then I'd go for having him arrive only just before your due date. Having him there in the early weeks of your baby's life would be my priority.

worsestershiresauce · 04/12/2012 07:16

If it is your first the general advice is to plan for arrival approx 5 days post due day. You would probably want him home a little in advance of that just to be on the safe side though.

I have contingency plans in place should DH be at work when I go into labour. In your case it might be a good idea to have something similar.

nextphase · 04/12/2012 07:31

I wouldn't have him there too early, unless you would then have no-one around for labour.
Do you have a relative (Mum, Sister, SIL, MIL?) who would drop everything and come to be with you if DH was still off shore?

Can he talk to anyone else on the rigs about how they worked things?

Good Luck!

Original poster

fidol · 04/12/2012 07:55

Thanks for the replies- he's on a boat rather than a rig so boat needs to get back to port and his back to back has to relieve him. Also he's working in Australian waters just now so not the quickest flight back! Doesn't get paternity or annual leave as he's temp contract so will just be two weeks unpaid on top of his normal 4 weeks off. I do have good network available at short notice but most of them were at the labour part (my first baby and first baby on both sides for a decade or two).

OP posts:

curiousuze · 04/12/2012 08:05

I'd get him to ask around and see what other people have done in the past, otherwise you'd probably want him around more after the birth than before. Tell him to transfer to the North Sea! :)

curiousuze · 04/12/2012 08:06

Also is his back to back flexible at all? Probably not as its 4&4 but might be worth asking

BikeRunSki · 04/12/2012 08:20

If you want him at the birth, bear in mind it it likely any time from 38 weeks. even first babies. But then, if the baby may not come until 42 weeks, in which case your DP will be on his way back offshore if he comes home at 38 weeks. Hmmm. Can he get home mid tour? If he gets the call to come can he come straight awayish? Or does he have to wait the the end of his 4 weeks? Can he book actual leave aswell as his time off-shift at home?

I am trying to think what the other oil workers I know did. Most recently, dad came home at end of 4 weeks, then rig broke down and he was at home for 6 months !

curiousuze · 04/12/2012 12:05

Same, BikeRunSki - I know loads of people who work offshore but they all worked a short flight or chopper ride away, not Oz! My brother lied and said his wife was in labour and got to take an early chopper, then she actually DID go into labour that night so it was perfect :)

Lucky for your dad!

BikeRunSki · 04/12/2012 17:57

Not my dad (although he did work.in.the oil industry and was only at my birth of 4 children), dad of a family we know.

Still don't know how to answer Opts original Q though.

MrsAmaretto · 04/12/2012 18:38

Speaking as a fellow offshore/ supply vessel wife, he needs to take the whole trip off that you are due. If you want him to stand a chance to be at the birth he needs to be ashore.

He will have no option but to miss birthdays, Christmases, first steps, first words etc. You can have him home for the birth. I'm making my spouse take his whole trip off as the due date is in the middle of his trip, I do not want him to be the 10th+ person to meet his new child and nor does he.

BikeRunSki · 04/12/2012 19:29

Mrs Amaretto has said it perfectly.

crunchingautumnleaves · 04/12/2012 21:12

There's no way of knowing really when things will happen for you so if you want him with you for the birth, he should be home by 37 weeks (I.e. 3 weeks before your due date), as that's when you're considered full term. If little one doesn't make an appearance til more like due date or beyond, at least you can spend some quality time together beforehand & he can help relieve any third trimester boredom. Most hospitals will be pushing for induction of labour by the time you get to 42 weeks (which you can of course decline & you may choose regular monitoring instead). But, just bear in mind that things may get a bit tight with 6 weeks off, starting at 37 weeks, if you do have a 'later' baby. Hope it all works out for you all!

MrsHoarder · 04/12/2012 21:21

Ask your midwife when you will get induced. I was induced at 40+12 and DS was born at 40+15. So as long as he is still going to be there at 42 weeks then he will at least be there for the birth.

Can your mum come to support you in the early days if your DH has to go back before you can sit/walk/carry baby easily?

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