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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Don't trust my midwife

17 replies

Tiredtrout · 01/12/2012 07:39

This probably will sound terribly negative. I lost a pregnancy last year at 11 weeks due to a haematoma I had booked in with the midwife in that pregnancy but at that appointment she asked if I was sure there was any point in booking in, she didn't check my blood pressure or really show any interest. After I miscarried I had to have an erpc, I let the midwife know, she said she would visit, she never did. She also never returned any of my calls. It turned out I got an infection and had lost a lot of blood so was badly anaemic which was untreated for months.

I have the same midwife again. I'm now 17 weeks and when I went for my 16 week appointment she couldn't find a heartbeat. She arranged for a scan in the gp surgery but I didn't get any further info like my blood results or asked if I had any other issues. She didn't try and reassure me but ushered me out. The baby was fine at the scan just hiding but the midwife hasn't been in touch till yesterday when I texted her. Is this what I should expect because I'd have thought it would be obvious to call later the same day to check a patient was ok

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ilikesweetpeas · 01/12/2012 07:44

Do you have consultant led care? If so tell them at your 20 week appointment and ask to swap midwifes. I did this and it was fine, just had to go to hosp not gp surgery for checks. If you don't have a consultant maybe speak to your gp? Good luck to you

Original poster

Tiredtrout · 01/12/2012 07:47

I'm not under a consultant and she is the only midwife for the surgery unfortunately.

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blondieminx · 01/12/2012 07:58

So sorry about the mc. Have you raised a complaint with PALS (details will be on your hospital's website) about the poor care following the erpc? It sounds like you had a horrible time.

The mw doesn't sound very supportive but that's probably down to a huge case load to be frank. I can understand why you feel uneasy - having been there myself I know that pregnancy after miscarriage is an anxious time! I don't think I relaxed until I actually had DD in my arms. Try and just take each day as it comes and hopefully in the next month or so you'll start to feel baby's movements, you'll be having your 20w scan etc and your bump will be growing nicely!

Have a read through of your notes. Is there anything in there that the mw has said/ticked as discussed which actually hasn't been? If so, approach the supervisor of midwives (there is always one on call at the hospital) by phone to discuss. Your medical records must be accurate and falsifying notes would be taken v seriously.

Is there an MSLC in your area?

There's always good support on MN

Original poster

Tiredtrout · 01/12/2012 08:05

I'm luckily already feeling movements which is lovely but they are intermittent so not yet at a proper pattern. A complaint was raised and was dealt with and the records seem accurate at the moment. I've been told by text to call her on Tuesday when she is next in. Maybe I should tell her how I feel then

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blondieminx · 01/12/2012 08:06

One other thought - do see you GP and ask for your iron levels to be checked, and your thyroid (tsh should be between 0.5 - 2.0 in pg women). Don't be fobbed off - remind then you had anaemia after your mc and tell them that the mw hasn't discussed the results of your routine bloods. It's worth getting your thyroid checked, as if it's underactive that can make you feel v tired too (as does anaemia).

SizzleSazz · 01/12/2012 08:10

I didn't gel with my midwife and we also only had only one linked to the surgery. As it happened I ended up going under consultant care, and then she was on holiday for postnatal visits.

In the same situation again I wound have switched appointments to the local Midwife Led Unit with a different midwife.

From your info I would say she is not giving you a good, reassuring, personal service which is really what you need, especially with a first DC.

blondieminx · 01/12/2012 08:13

So you text her and she text back to invite you to call? Good.

Lovely that you're feeling movements already!

She may well not realise how she's coming across, or may just be trying to juggle a huge case load - some mw's are just not that chatty. But there's lot of chat and reassurance on here. I had great support on one of the pg after mc threads, there's usually one going in the pregnancy topic. Might be worth a look?

ruby22 · 01/12/2012 08:19

In our area you get the results of all blood tests at 20 wk scan, unless there is a problem then they contact you by phone. They also don't try to find the heartbeat at 16 weeks anymore due to sometimes not being able to find it and then we get stressed over it, as you describe. I think you need to think about what you want from your midwife care, they get about 5-10 minutes per appointment so although its not right that there's no time to sit and chat about your concerns are you just expecting alot more than will be provided? Occasionally you come across a really good one who will spend ages with their patients but the downside is having to sit and wait and be 1.5 hours late for your appt! The overall fault lies within the system, as said above their case loads are large and there really is no time to give the care that we really deserve.

worsestershiresauce · 01/12/2012 08:20

My midwife is equally elusive and disinterested. She has not discussed anything with me, and refuses to do my blood tests as I have opted for a hospital birth (given her attitude the idea of labouring at the birthing unit terrifies me. I can see myself being ignored and left to deliver my own baby!). My solution is to research everything myself, and book whatever I am entitled to myself. Not ideal, but sites like this one are brilliant at providing all the information we need.

Original poster

Tiredtrout · 01/12/2012 08:29

This one is my 3rd but my youngest is 12 so things have changed a fair bit. I'm trying to relax about it all. I just thought it was poor of her not to get in touch at all. Maybe I am overreacting though.

In this area the midwife you see at the GPS is linked to the surgery then where you have the baby is seperate. I've chosen a different hospital to last time. Thanks for all the advice

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ICompletelyKnowAboutGuineaPigs · 01/12/2012 08:44

The mw linked to my GP surgery was my mw with DD and I was really unhappy with my care just as you have described. Although I understand that mws have large case loads and don't have ages to chat to me I don't think that's any reason for poor interaction in the time you do have. Many other MWs achieve a balance of being supportive and efficient.

I didn't feel comfortable with her being my MW this time so I contacted the GP surgery and they put me in touch with the area team leader. They were very understanding and moved my care to a different MW at a different GP surgery (not a problem for me as I drive and there are loads of GPs in my area).

Pregnancy is an important time so if you're not happy with your care I would say something...most of us wouldn't keep going back to a shop where we received poor service so why do it with something infinitely more important. Hope you find someone who makes you feel more comfortable.

Salukigirl · 01/12/2012 08:45

In the information I got from my MW I got a supervisors number at the hospital to call if I had any issues with my MW, i.e. wasn't happy with my care. Might be worth calling your maternity unit and ask to speak to the midwife supervisor.
Alternative visit your doctor for all your MW appointments and tell him/her why. I know my doctor would be OK with that.

TwitchyTail · 01/12/2012 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oodthunkit · 01/12/2012 09:10

Call the supervisor of midwives and say you want to change. I had this with my MW and am under full consultant care as they couldn't offer another. Usually though they can offer another MW though just at a different base.

DeathMetalMum · 01/12/2012 09:29

Just a note on the heartbeat. In my area the no longer check the heartbeat. However you can request from your midwife that they do but only from 28 weeks. Also with blood results I have only been told something if there was something wrong in the past.

Have you thought about changing your gp's surgery? I changed mine not long after dd was born. One of the reasons being my lousy health visitor. If you switch surgeries you should be able to change MW also.

Lavenderhoney · 01/12/2012 09:37

I had an equally uninterested Mw who guessed on forms and notes of mine(!) even changing surgeries would not have helped as she was with them to, on a rotation basis. I spoke to my gp, who said I did not have to have checkups with her and he would be happy to do so. I was not the first, as it turned out.

Have you thought of taking a doula as well? Give one or two a call and see what they charge, maybe they will also coming to appointments with you, which as your birthing partner ( as well as your dp) they can attend.

Original poster

Tiredtrout · 04/12/2012 13:09

Quick update, thanks everyone for your advice, I texted her first thing and she called back only 4 hours later so getting better. She acknowledged that she should have called me and apologised for not doing it. She's going to check my blood results and call me this afternoon, and she's referring me for physio for my back

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