Don't know what to do

[Kay03]

I wrote on here last night about panic attacks after finding out I'm 6 weeks (planned) pregnancy. I had the worst sleep ever last night and have had several more panic attacks since. I cannot comprehend the future and have started focusing on other areas to panic about such as how long I will live/parents will live, and generally feel like I'm spiralling out of control. My husband is away and I can't stop crying. I had an issue 10 years ago with death which lead to panic attacks and it was a really difficult time in my life. I can't face going back to that place. Husband thinks my hormones are accentuating things which is prob true but I cannot do this for the next nine months.

Hi go and talk to your gp, I lost a baby at 22weeks and when I found out I was pregnant again I was exactly the same as you, everything just went out of control in my head. I finally had the courage to talk to my GP after months of feeling like that, he was amazing, I saw someone once a week, made things more rational and had massage therapy which was amazing. you're not alone plenty of us feel like this. let me know how you go on xx

Kay03, this sounds awful. But I want to tell you that it will be ok. Here's why:

Firstly - the hormones and the tiredness ARE making a huge difference. Your hormones are making you feel things that seem like they are real, but are just your hormones raging out of control. Then you are finding it difficult to sleep, and that is making it worse. No doubt, the general feelings of lack of control in a new pregnancy are exacerbated by you feeling out of control of your emotions. But they are your emotions, not you. Please try to be kind to yourself - take a break, go to bed early, try to take your mind off things.

Secondly - it will pass. The only reason I know this is because it happened to me. Two weeks ago I was exactly in the same place as you. I had even thought of killing myself, and just didn't know how things would ever get better. Like you, the pg was planned, so I was ashamed to have all those feelings and didn't think my DH could understand. Then things just got better. Strangely, a crisis in another part of my life made me able to put this in perspective, and realise that whatever happens, this is an experience that I'm living now, not in 5 or 50 years time. There really is no point worrying about the things that might happen in the future - all you can do is go with what is happening right now, and try to relax into it.

I know that this might not seem particularly realistic to you, but please remember that it WILL get better. It really, really will. The hormones will change, and the rest of your pregnancy will not be like this.

Thirdly - there is help out there. Please make an appointment with your GP and tell him/ her that you have been suffering from anxiety, and that you have in the past as well. Your GP will be able to refer you to counselling and other kinds of advice.

It's completely normal to feel panicky and scared, so don't think there is anything wrong with you. But do concentrate on making yourself feel better.

Good luck.

I suffer from panic attacks too however I now have them under control. When mine first started I went to my GP and I had a course of treatment with a cognitive behavioural therapist. She was really good and gave me methods to help me cope when I started feeling panicky such as counting backwards from 100, putting an elastic band around my wrist and flicking it when I felt an attack coming on (this is to give you a short sharp shock and distract you from those feelings).
I also found talking about it with people helped, especially people who have been through similar things.
I also developed a little routine when I started feeling an attack coming on (which I still use to this day). I found that opening a window and having a glass of cold water- even if I didn't drink it- helped. I would take myself off somewhere quiet (if at home I would go to my bedroom) and sit on my own for a while. I also put something mundane on the tv to try and distract my brain. I find that antiques roadshow is just bland enough to not trigger any bad thoughts whilst being interesting enough to distract me.
My panic attacks were caused by a fear of being/feeling sick which was triggered by being around a lot of people, being away from home and generally being in situations that felt out of my control. Because of the fear of being sick I was able to help control the panic attacks by taking stemetil (an anti-emetic, however it can also be taken for panic attacks) but I believe the other techniques also helped. It's now been over 4 years since I was really bad and I now have control over my life again. I still occasionally get panic attacks but I'm able to recognise the symptoms and nip it in the bud before it takes hold.
Sorry this was so long. I hope I haven't completely bored you but I hope it helps.
Remember that panic attacks are totally irrational and you have the ability to overcome them. It sounds like you know where the panic attacks stem from but if you can recognise what triggers them you can take steps to work on that as well. Good luck and feel better soon xx

My goodness. Thnk you so much kitty, looloo and efme. I don't think it's going to change over night but I do think that hearing your stories have made me realise I can cope. I really appreciate it. Thank you.

I don't have any advice for you other than what others have said but I didn't want to read and run. I really hope you manage to sort things and start to enjoy your pregnancy xxxx