The cheese thing is totally confusing:
Stilton looks evil, with all those blue veins - but it's a hard cheese so it's fine.
Camembert and Brie look completely innocuous but they are the ones to avoid (although I can't believe any of the boring shrinkwrapped Bries from the supermarket could be harbouring anything nasty)
Goats cheese can be eaten unless it has a rind (!?)
And what about Parmesan??? It's a hard cheese but I have a feeling it's part of the cheese axis of evil!
For some reason I have accidentally eaten all of these cheeses apart from Stilton 