Ive woken up this morning in a huge grump. This is happening more and more. Am 31+4 with DC2, have GDM for which i have to finger prick test 6 times a day (3 meals) an inject with insulin once. My levels are still not perfect, in my last PG i ended up on 2 clicks of insulin morning and night, im currently on 14 just at night, and have clinic today where I imagine that they will up the evening dose and perhaps start a morning one.
My DS has had a foul cough, and DP is working nights so despite being signed off, im Still having to get up 3 days a week to get him ready and to nursery (which is great as it gives me a break), obviously this isn't anyones fault but i cant get back to sleep after so my day still starts circa 7.
Im feeling tired and irritable, DP and I had a "discussion" about him tidying up after himself and that lasted all of two days...he does it when asked but asking pisses me off. DS is being a bit of a whinge and as D-Day approaches his behaviour is getting more erratic, although its probably more normal 3 year old behaviour, im running low on patience and find myself snapping then I feel like an evil cow.
DS finishes nursery in a couple of weeks to start a (much more local,and much better "fit") playschool. Im worried about this as he doesn't speak well (under SALT) and I just desperately want him to be happy.
I am signed off until end of next week, and my doc was willing to sign me off until the week following so I could go straight into my hol before ML but I stupidly said not to.. Now I'm a bit stressed about having to go back to work for a week even though I know its unlikely as my GP is very understanding.
I find myself quite anxious much of the time and wonder how much is normal, ive always been an anxious person. I have an appointment with another GP thurs who specialises in MH / anxiety to talk about things. I worry i'll be labelled From this and they will take away my boys? I dont think im depressed just stressed.
I dont really know why ive written this all down, it probably doesnt convey all thats brought me to this point (in brief bereavements, infertility issues, work issues, money etc) and I know deep down that im probably normal - I still go out every day still socialise DS is well looked after happy etc and attend all my (many) appointments. Maybe im just tired.