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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do All Midwives Behave Like This?!

25 replies

Highlander · 31/03/2006 12:03

went for the 12 week scan yesterday. Midwife in community asked if her student could come along and also be present for my amnio. Student is lovely, only left a teeny, teeny bruise on my arm after doing bloods at the booking in. How could I refuse?!

Got to clinic early. Played with DS in the very impressive kids soft play area. Waiting area empty. Technician called me in (she was at great pains to point out she was a midwife and a sonographer) and I said I was waiting for DH and the student. She said they couldn't wait; I pointed out I was early and couldn't she at least wait until my booked time? She grudgingly said yes, but they couldn't wait long.

Anyway, student arrived and midwife lept up from her coffee room and insisted we came in. Fortunately DH arrived just as we entered the room. I introduced DH and the student, and that's when the fun started. The "midwife~sonographer" proceeded to tear strips off the student in front of me saying that she couldn't just turn up to clinics whnever she felt like and who on earth said she could? The student was really flustered and said her supervisor felt she hadn't seen enough nuchal folds or amnios and it was felt the fastest way to make up numbers was for her to follow some mums who were booked in for a few tests. The midwife then satrted getting really shirty with both of us saying they had organised sessions for midwifery, radiology and medical students and that we couldn't just do what we liked. If medical students had been present, my student would have to leave. Crikey, the student look on the verge of tears at this point. Gobby old me then intervened (God, I just can't help myself ). I pointed out that the student was allocated sessions, it was organised by her supervisor and it was unfair to 'have a go' at the student when the situation clearly wasn't her fault. I also said that med students in their house officer year are unlikely to have to counsel or discuss nuchal fold screeing and if they had been present I would have asked them to leave in favour of the midwifery student that accompanied me. I then asked to get on with the scan as the midwife seemed in abit of a rush when I spoke to her earlier.

Everything went OK but DH had to take DS outside as he was bored. The nuchal fold bit was about to start so I asked the student to move in closer to get a better view. I then siad to the midwife, 'perhaps you could explain in detail to the student what you're doing'. She then turned round and said, 'really, your community midwife should have explained all this'. Not sure which one of us that comment was directed at!

To cap it all, she then tried to intimidate me out of choosing an amnio, but I was kind of expecting that.

We went out to the waiting room and the student said, 'what a bitch'. I was totally horrified but the student and DH said that sort of behaviour is totally the norm in hospitals .

Crikey!

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starlover · 31/03/2006 12:06

no,... not normal! maybe she was just having one of those days though?

jamsam · 31/03/2006 12:06

oh my god.....almost as bad as the 'sonographer' who refused to scan me as she 2couldnt see much throughthe fat!"
you can imagine what i said to that...

Original poster

Highlander · 31/03/2006 12:09

part of me is PMSL at her 'computer says no' attitude. The other part is horrified that NHS staff regards this as the norm. No wonder there's a midwife shortage if students/junior staff are treated like that

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starlover · 31/03/2006 12:12

i think you just have to hope it was a one off and she isn't normally like that! no excuse of course

CarolinaMoon · 31/03/2006 12:21

What a way to treat a student. And incredibly unprofessional to do it in front of patients.

Do you feel like reporting it to the head of midwifery at the hospital?

paolosgirl · 31/03/2006 12:25

This is not the norm - she has acted very unprofessionally, and I'm sure that the student's supervisor will have taken this further. It might also help if you write to the Director of Midwifery and explain what's happened, so that the incident is recorded from a patient as well as the supervisor.

Original poster

Highlander · 31/03/2006 12:29

Well, with the size of my gob I normally wouldn't hesistate to complain. But I'm worried abut the repercussions for the student

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Original poster

Highlander · 31/03/2006 12:30

good point Paulo. I'll follow my midwife's lead. No point in making trouble for the student if she's nonplussed about the whole thing.

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paolosgirl · 31/03/2006 12:31

I'm sure they won't be any repercussions for the student - it's the midwife/sonographer (wow, you must have been really impressed when you told you that ) who should be worried about the repercussions. I'll bet the student has already raised it with her supervisor.

LucyJones · 31/03/2006 12:32

well done for standing up for the student Highlander!!

Kathy1972 · 31/03/2006 12:33

Must be a sonographer thing - mine was such a bitch with my first scan. I had hyperemesis and was really struggling to keep liquid down - had already thrown up 6 times that day. You know you're meant to have a full bladder - well, she told me off because mine wasn't full enough, and when I explained about the HG she said, 'You know, you're making yourself sick by not drinking enough.'
I really regret not complaining - some people just think they can get away with murder. So I think you should complain about your horrid one.

Flamesparrow · 31/03/2006 12:35

She'd get on well with the sonographer who told me I was "wasting her time" with my DD when I went back for a second scan because I was very sure of my dates, and the first scan seemed wrong. I was worried that my baby wasn't growing properly - there for reassurance, and she was stroppy because the baby had grown and that I was querying her collegue's scan!

I don't know why some women do the job!

Chapsmum · 31/03/2006 12:36

I feel really strongly about this, having ben bullied as a student nurse myself.

There are protocols and procedures for counciling students if the senoir practitioner feels that practise or questions are inaprropriate! which to be honest sounds as if the student was more appropriate than the radiorapher.

That is shocking.
I would never speak to a student like that, and would never dream of not answering a students question in someway or other at an appropriate time.

Am soo angry for her

Chapsmum · 31/03/2006 12:38

there will be no re-percussions for the student, she acted in a pofessional mannor and she is there to lear.
Not learn to be bullied, but to learn compasionate and competant care of the patient!!!

Kelly1978 · 31/03/2006 12:38

I agree with Kathy, I've ahd a lot of grumpy sonographers. The best one was the woman who was incredibly arsy, because she found twins and I shouold have booked a double appointment. Er, did I know that?

Kathy1972 · 31/03/2006 12:42

LOL Kelly.

Original poster

Highlander · 31/03/2006 12:45

have spoken to someone in the community office. They agree the midwife was out of order but agree that the supervisor (my midwife) should deal with it.

Pretty shocked at other tales I'm reading here

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hockeymum · 31/03/2006 16:07

jamsam I'd have kicked up a right fuss about that. I always worried about my high bmi at a scan, but they never had any problem seeing either of my babies. Cheeky sods! it's just their own inadequacies at scanning, she should learn her job a bit better!

It reminds me of the appointment I had at neurology last week (more or less unrelated to the prgnancy) where I had to be weighed, the scales didnt go up high enough but she said that happened quite a lot but then when I told her my weight to write down, that I'd been weighed at antenatal the day before, she said "oh well I'll excuse you,at 8 months pregnant" I didnt have the heart to tell her that after all the hyperemesis I'm still half a stone lighter now then when I conceived, she'd have been very shocked at that!

moondog · 31/03/2006 16:11

Sour old bitch.
Well I work for the NHS (not in this field) and regular have students with me,both ones training for my job and others. Can categorically say that it is not the norm.

Actually,are all sonographers bitches??
I had a foul cow twice.

jamsam · 31/03/2006 16:16

i wouldnt have minded the fat comment if i could have understood her, she was barely speaking conversational english and then she mummbled and turned off the machine. it was only when my midwife called the next day for the non-existent results that she made the fat comment.
well i suppose at 30 weeks she wasnt expecting someone my size, i had ds before i got another scan!

Uwila · 31/03/2006 16:48

I'd write a formal complain about the midwife/sonographer to the PCT. I would then submit a formal compliment to the student midwife's fine professional manner, send it to the head midwife at the hospital (or whoever she reports to), and I'd give a copy of that complimentary letter to the student midwife so she could make sure it goes on her record.

THEN, I would formally request not to have to deal with ms. lovely for the rest of my ante natal care.

Uwila · 31/03/2006 16:50

Oh, and no, I have never met such a disgraceful midwife.

spacecadet · 31/03/2006 16:57

its completely unacceptable the way she behaved, and you never, ever reprimand someone in front or patients and or other staff, although i would say she was having more of a bitch fest at this poor girl.
theres no excuse for that kind of behaviour at all.

Greensleeves · 31/03/2006 17:43

I'm sure people will insist that this isn't the norm, but IME (after having had about 20 scans, because of major concerns during both pregnancies) it isn't at all uncommon. To give a couple of other examples - when I had an emergency scan at 8 weeks with my first child after bleeding and cramps, and was overjoyed that the heart was beating and everything looked normal, I asked for a scan picture and was told "I wouldn't tempt fate if I was you, I'd go home and pray". And when I had my 12 week scan with ds2 and asked whether the head looked a normal size, the sonographer sniggered and said "Think yourself lucky it's got a head."

So I'm not at all surprised. :)

eidsvold · 01/04/2006 08:15

the sonographer I had in Aus was brilliant - had the same one for two different scans.... very professional, very empathic, compassionate as she explained what she found - did a fab job at putting us at ease - as much as one could.

IN UK - stroppy cows.... first one berated me for not having drunk enough water - was sent for a scan due to early bleeding at 7 weeks - was not told to drink water prior to scan.

12 weeks scan - again annoyed I had not had enough water - sent me out to drink more - I thought I was going to puke it all up ....

20 week scan - pissed off that dd1 would not co operate and the sonographer was pushing at my stomach to try and get dd1 to turn over - sent us away to have oj or something very cold, annoyed when we returned only to have dd1 still not turn over.

21 weeks - found dd1's heart defect but would nto say anything - just left us sitting in this dark room wondering what the hell was going on whilst she waited for her colleague to come and scan me. THen told me there was an 'issue' with the heart, shoved us out of the room as quick as they could nad let the head midwife attached to scan dept to tell us what was going on.

22/24 weeks - fab scans at harris birthright trust in kings hospital.

38 weeks - local hosp again - annoyed that dd1 appeared not to have grown etc... again pissed off attitude and made to feel like a burden.

With dd2 - 12 week scan - different hospital trust and area - told songrapher that we were not having a nuchal fold despite dd1 having down syndrome and our increased risk of down syndrome with subsequent children - so she went and looked and did a little measurement etc and told us it all looked fine - I was sooo gobsmacked.

The other fab thing about Aus - you can see exactly what the sonographer is seeing as you have your own screen mounted on the wall in the corner of the room - easily visible to the woman laying on the bed..... rather than our local UK ones who hid the screen and then turned it around and showed us what they felt we wanted to see.

Sorry for the long message BUT

Bravo Highlander for speaking out!!!

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