Hi, I am in some desperate need of relationship advice, I am 28 weeks pregnant, having fell pregnant by accident with my boyfriend (we're both in our 30's) we were both really surprised/shocked, we had a great relationship and wanted to do more things togethr, but having sat down and spoke about what we were going to do and decided that we'd go for it, we both have our own places and as he had the 1 bedroom flat (which he's lived in alone for 10 years) and I had the house (lived alone fore 3 years) it was a no brainer but to move into mine, he moved in mid September, around the time of the move things started to get strained, we both became quite distant as he was renting his flat out it meant doing lots of odd jobs, we didn't really spend any quality time together and he didn't really ask anyone for help around the flat so did it all himself. While he was doing all the odd jobs around his flat I was making room for him at mine, vaccum packing all my skinny clothes to make wardrobe space for him, clearing the bathroom shelves and sorting through both our kitchenware to have an equal balance of both our things, not to mention we shopped for new things so we had things that we'd "picked" together.
Upon moving in he became even more distant, really moody, quiet, non conversational and the good sex life that we once had seemed to disasappear, this was all around the time that my baby bump started to show, so I decided that he just needed to adjust, I'd get home late on purpose some days so he could have "his" time after work, but all that he done was be even more and more moody. I asked him what was wrong and he'd been saying for a while that he was feeling quite hollow and didn't know why he wasn't feeling excited about things, I put this down to him being a bit scared and the change. And asking him this time around he said that he didn't know how he felt about me, I was devestated, but also it didn't really make sense, if he had any doubts about me then he'd have never given up his flat? Anyway, this went on for another few weeks until it started to effect me, I was crying all the time, depressed and I felt like a prisoner in my own home. Enough was enough, so I asked him to go and stay with a friend for a few weeks to get his head straight. One thing I didn't mention was that he had a real bad childhood, his mother left when he was just 1 years old and then his father left when he was 8, they both went on to have new relationships while he and his brother were passed from pillar to post and practically ended up bringing themselves up, he suffered a very lonely childhood and he's never faced his demons, he has clearly ALWAYS had issues but never dealt with them.
So I came home that evening to most of his belongings gone, clothes, shoes etc. Suddenly I realised that he may have just gone for good... but I realised that he was draining me by being in the house so it was a good things and hopefully some space will make him realise. That was 4-5 weeks ago now, since then he's been to my midwife appointments with me, we've been out for dinner, we've had sex once, which was a complete shock, but the twoing and froing of this is making me ill, I get so upset when he leaves me that its taking over my life, I feel awful because I should be looking forward to having my baby but yet I don't fell the emotional support I need. I just really don't know how to deal with this, or whether this will repair itself. I would appreciate any opinions and experiences of other women who have experienced distancing or rejection in pregnancy, because I just don't know where else to turn to! Thanks