Want to go home, cuddle DS1 and forget the rest of the world.

[robin3]

Now 6 months pregnant and I'm feeling so emotional about everything....I don't remember being as bad when expecting DS1.

• There are a fair few things we need to do before DS2 comes along.
• My parents have really let me down recently.
• People keep saying that life after the second baby is much harder than after the first.
• I'm so irrationally concerned about DS1 and how he's going to feel and again people keep saying 'oh he's going to be so put out'.
• I'm hating gaining the weight again and I've convinced myself that my bum has exploded.
• Everyone at work is getting on my nerves.
• I keep worrying about dying....what will happen to my little ones in this crazy world.

What is wrong with me? I want to sit with DS1 and watch Shrek all day because everytime I venture out I add a new worry. I'm also laughing as I re-read this because I can see that I'm being ridiculous.

Oh, Robin

How old is your DS1? I've just had a second DS (he's 10 weeks old on Wednesday) and DS1 has taken to him beautifully - he's really affectionate with him. DS1 is two on Monday, and loads of people have looked at me disbelievingly when they ask and I tell them that there's no jealousy - seems they just want tales of scratching, biting toddlers!

You will lose the weight because you don't sit down as much with a toddler and a baby. I kept my baby weight with DS1, but have pretty much lost it all again with DS2.

It is hard work and it's overwhelming at times, but the good stuff is worth it, IME. I love that DS1 is a big brother and that DS2 has DS1 as a big brother!

Can you talk to your parents or is it irretrievable?

What do you need to do before DS2 comes along? Make a list and prioritise - I did this and it really helped. We live in a DIY paradise, but finishing the bathroom really helped, for instance. Well, almost finishing!

Work...well, you won't be there long, you'll be with your gorgeous boys.

As for worrying about dying - I think it's natural to be super-anxious about things like this when you're bringing a new life into the world and you're already responsible for a little one - but if it's overwhelming you, go and see your GP - antenatal depression is recognised and common and nothing to be ashamed of.

Chin up - you're not being ridiculous, you're being human

Hello Robin3
Write a list of things you want to do before no 2 comes along, cross off all the completely unachievable things and try to do some of the others.

How did your parents let you down? can you talk to them about it and sort it out now?

In my experience life isn't harder after the 2nd as you've already made the mental leap from having no kids - which I think is harder. And once you're over the first few months they start to entertain each other and it's a whole extra bit of joy to watch your 2 together.

There are ways to limit the impact on ds1, our dd still talks about how she liked ds coming along because she got lots of presents Sure it is hard for them but they will (hopefully) have a special friend for life and most people say the difficult time is several months down the line once the baby's becoming more interesting and then you're in a different dynamic again.

You can lose the weight.

They'd probably get on your nerves anyway - eat some chocolate.

That's a big question.

There's nothing wrong with you - you're pregnant and we all go a bit wierd.
If you need to go home, go, the world won't end.

DS1 will be 2.5 when DS2 is born. I'm glad things have worked out well for your little ones.

I know I'm being irrational and fortunately I don't feel depressed just concerned and a little tearful in waves.

The thing with my parents has kind of resolved itself too but made me worry about their suitability as parents if I did die.

It just amazes me how careless people are about what they say and how much pleasure people seem to get from telling you how hard it's going to be. The first time you go in to motherhood I guess you're pretty naive but the second time I'm feeling more emotional because I know it's going to be tough and I want to do a good job for both my childrens sake.

Robin - thats human nature i think.

With my first pg i was totally shocked at how complete strangers could strike up a conversation with me about my pg and then go on to tell me about how their friends friends daughters baby (or whatever) has just had a baby and x happened to it. Like i'd want to know (and now ive just done it to you i suppose ).

Its completely normal to have various anxieties when pg and they vary the second time from the first time because with the first one you just dont know what to expect, and with the second one - you kinda do .

I didnt have such a great time with my 2nd, but, that said, you cant take into account the personalities of a child. So, the best advice i can give you is that as long as you are prepared, and expect the unexpected and try and relax about it then you will be doing the best you can do.

My 2nd is 11 months old, its been a tough journey for a number of reasons, but i look at my DD and DS now and marvel at what a beautiful pair of children i have and how much they adore each other (even if DD occasionally drags DS across the lounge by his arm....)

You sound like you're a fab mum.
Noone bothered to tell me that some things are definitely a whole lot easier the 2nd time around. You know more about what deserves to be worried about and what doesn't for example, you know that the hard bits DO come to an end you just have to hang in there and you've got no1 to look after as well so there's less time to angst about everything. I reckon that physically it's harder but emotionally it's mostly easier and it all starts to even out a lot quicker....but that's just me.
We had a really difficult start with no 1 for some specific medical reasons and ds has been a complete dream baby by comparison.
Keep posting Robin3 and don't call yourself irrational - they're normal concerns. Can't overemphasis how taking the odd day off can improve you're outlook on life!

...but not your spelling and grammar...oops