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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

How soon can you be back at work after having a baby?

35 replies

iamwhaticallpregnant · 18/10/2012 11:34

I don't mean immediately after - I am not expecting responses like "1 hour" Smile

I was just wondering if you say work very very part time (only something like half a day a week). How soon can you be back at work after having a baby? It's my first so I have no idea how I will feel once home - how long the 'healing' process is, how old the baby should be when you can leave him with a family member for a few hours etc.. I find it very hard to imagine what it will be like once I am home with an actual baby. Can all you nice Mumsnetters help?

thanks in advance Biscuit

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Iggly · 18/10/2012 19:42

Chuckles at idea of leaving a newborn in the evening.

I thought I could do similar with ds (my first).

I was wrong.

They do settle by 3-4 months of an evening though.

Good luck purple.

wheresmespecs · 18/10/2012 20:41

It depends on the job, on the baby, on now much support you have AND YOU.

I had 3 days off when I had my DS (planned C Section). I was self employed - bit hard to explain, but I was in the middle of a big project I had initiated and had a crucial role in - but I had no control over the delivery schedule.

I was working from home (otherwise I don't think it would have been possible, unless I had fed formula from day 1 and so could leave him with DP/grandparent/nanny etc). I was working full time, but in practice this meant working whenever I could, how I could - around the very sporadic naps of a velcro constantly BF-ing baby. Often had to sit down to work at 3 in the morning, crying with tiredness.

It was hell and if I knew now how bad it was going to be, I would never have done it. I was beyond even the usual exhaustion of a normal new mother, I had constant health problems with mastitis and other infections (14 courses of antibiotics in 12 months) - I was utterly miserable and just felt like I was doing everything badly and enjoying none of it. The only positive (apart from a healthy lovely baby) was that I had an easy birth and recovered quickly.

But that's an extreme example! I think I would have loved a 'one afternoon a week' job, quite early on, wherever they are to be found....if it got me out of the house. Working at home was actually very oppressive - I could go days without leaving the house and I hated that.

I have no 'political' views in how much time to take off work (I am a feminist, career woman and main breadwinner in our family btw). But i think it is really really important for new mums to be to as open as they can be to the changes in their life that a new baby brings, and to accept that their predetermined ideas about themselves and their baby may simply turn out to be irrelevant. You really do have no idea how you will feel or how your baby will behave, and I just think you need to keep your options as open as possible. I am being positive here, btw! I think women need to trust themselves to cope with whatever is thrown at them, and not fall into the trap of planning how new motherhood will be, and then suffering all manner of disappointment/frustration/feeling a failure etc when it isn't how they planned it.

Be careful in particular of 'when can I leave my baby with a family member.' If you are breastfeeding, you might have a baby glued to you for weeks. Don't assume you will be able to feed formula whenever you want, no matter how relaxed you personally are about using it - if you get a baby that doesn't want to use a bottle, that's not an easy problem to fix. You might get a baby that has epic naps when it is very small (I have heard they exist....) and it will be fine to go out for a couple of hours. But you just don't know.

And if you tell relations, particularly excited grandparents, that they might be getting a small baby to look after from very early on... and then you find you can't or don't want to leave your baby.... you have all that disappointment and pressure to deal with too.

Looooooong post, sorry. But just let yourself see how YOU feel, what you and your baby need, and nevermind what anyone else is doing.

wheresmespecs · 18/10/2012 20:43

PS Iggly, I hear you. Cluster feeding til eleven pm every night, for the first few weeks. No one told me about THAT when I was pregnant....

wigglesrock · 18/10/2012 20:51

It really does depend - I know not helpful Grin With dd1 I was back to work (23 hours a week) when she was 4.5 months. I did KIT days with dd3 from when she was 12 weeks - worked out at about 5 hours once a week for 8 weeks. I was able to pick my day, so my husband, mum or mil had her.

brdgrl · 18/10/2012 20:54

I am a bit ashamed to say this, but I teach, and I was marking exam papers in my hospital bed the next day. I had a difficult forceps delivery and stayed in hospital for two nights, visiting was very limited and I guess I just felt I should be 'doing something'.

I am not resentful about it (and was not made to do it, I should point out!), but I do kinda wonder what I was thinking!

Leftwingharpie · 18/10/2012 20:58

wheresmespecs thank you for that, it sounds like sound advice.

RyleDup · 18/10/2012 21:50

I went back to work 2 weeks after I had my first. I was lucky(ish) that I could take my baby in with me. She slept in the buggy quite a bit, and I bf her when she woke up. And as there were lots of people in my office, they took delight in taking turns to entertain her when she was awake. I was doing 3 days a week, it wasn't ideal, but I was doing some project work that I couldn't hand over to anyone else very easily. I was doing that for a few months and as soon as it was finished I took my much needed mat leave!

Iggly · 19/10/2012 08:37

Oh will also add that both of my babies were intolerant to formula = projectile vomiting, windy, unsettled, reflux...

PinkChampagneandStrawberries · 19/10/2012 09:10

Really everybody is different I didn't go back until he was 15 months I was and still am a nightmare at leaving him I had never left him up until then and even then I really struggled being away from him but my best friend was back at work running her own business the day after giving birth. I don't think you really know how you will feel until you have had the baby.

AlisonDB · 19/10/2012 12:37

I live in the Netherlands.
Standard mat leave is only 16 weeks. (Full pay)
Finish either 6 or 4 weeks before due date,
Return to work when baby is either 10 or 12 weeks old.

After this time, if you want extra you take annual holidays or unpaid parental leave.

Dads btw only get 2 days leave with full pay!

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