ridiculous worry - how will I love DC2 if it is a boy?

[Shelium]

Before you all flame me, I am not one of those people who has always wanted girls, I believed dd was a boy until she was born, and welcomed the idea of a boy.

I am currently 30w pg with DC2. My first baby was a girl, and I come from a huge long line of girls, female cousins, aunties etc, and not one single boy. My sister is also expecting and it is a girl :)

Lots of people told me that they had fears of "how on earth could I love DC2 as much as DC1" when they were pg, and I admit to having felt quite smug that this has never bothered me.

Only this week I have suddenly concentrated on the baby, and names etc - and then it hit me. If this baby is a boy, how will I feel? I have zero experiences with boys - DH is equally as worried, he also comes from a line of girls (except for himself) but isn't quite as paranoid as I am.

Will I honestly love a baby boy? What if it grows up to be a vehicle loving, football playing boy? I know nothing about vehicles or football! will I be the MIL from hell? Will my baby boy grow up and move across the world to live with his wife, because her family will mean more than me?

I KNOW how ridiculous I sound - but I can't be the only person to be scared like this can I?

I thought that too, in fact it contributed to my brutal PND. I absolutely did not want a boy, and felt hollow when I first met him.

He's two now, and I have realised that in fact I do know about boys - I've been boy crazy since my teens, and am man crazy now :) In reality, I know my way about the male sex very well. DS and I are madly in love, basically.

I recommend it.

First and foremost you will love your baby. Apart from having a willy there isn't really much difference in the first year. It's just not very apparent that they're a girl or a boy especially with clothes on. By the time he develops any 'boy' traits (lots of this is learned by the way.. there are some good books on the topic, lots of subtle differences in our behaviour towards boys and girls have an influence) you'll already love him so much as a person that even a huge love of football won't change that (..probably..)

I was exactly like you, except was scared it would be a girl.

First child was a boy, and couldn't imagine ever being able to love a girl. I hated the idea of pink, and dolls, and all that pretty stuff. Fortunately for me DC2 was a boy so I had no problems and we only want 2 children so no problem again with having a 3rd :)

OP, you can only say that the boys "only married in" if you are selective about how you define your family. Every person in your ancestry had a father and every father was first a son.

I'm currently approaching 36wks pg with dc2 & feeling v unprepared!!! I have a DD and when we started trying I really wanted a DS, even went as far as eating lots of cereal & bananas as recommended by a study . Then a few weeks ago, I decided s/he was a girl for no real reason. Now I don't know what to feel!! I wonder if I'll cope with a boy, or if I have bonded with a girl & it turns out to be a boy, will I be freaked out.. In short, I don't doubt I will love him/her, but whether I'll feel so totally overwhelmed with love as I was with DD from the start, or whether I'll have to get my head around the 'surprise'.

I guess it would have been easier to have the gender scan but then I probably wouldn't have believed it until the birth anyway!!!

I guess I'm trying to say, you're not alone & show et al make a lot of sense

What wilko said and several others. I have a DD and then...
My Ds is the 4th grandchild my side and 5th DH side. 1st boy!

My cousins all girls.

I was horrified at birth he was a boy. We just don't have boys in our family. I loved him instantly because he was my baby.

But little things, DD when sniffling in sleep ANNOYS me. DS is ten times louder but he soothes me.
Dd is chatty and lovely and makes me smile. DS is fucking hilarious and makes me rip roar with laughter.
I'm beyond proud of my Dd. I'm beyond in love with my DS.

It's not that I love one more than the other. I do love them slightly differently though.

DD negotiates. DS pulls heart strings (I luff you mummy). Boys and girls are diff. Boys are more cuddly because they seem to twig early on that women are suckers for a bit of charm.
And boy do I adore his brand of charm.

I hate little boys, they run around too much, make too much noise, ruin their clothes and have no decorum. But just this week, DS did his first knee slide across a wooden polished floor and I melted with a big aaah look how clever he is.

My Mum was one of five girls and I was one of three, NEVER thought I'd have a boy, just assumed I'd have a daughter, no boys names, daydreams about baby were all baby girls etc..

When I found out my first baby was a boy at 20 weeks I wasn't upset as such but did lots of secret worrying about how on earth i would relate to a boy and readjusting my fantasies about dress shopping and mother/daughter moments.

DS was born two years ago and he is the light of my life. He's hilarious, sweet, entertaining, rewarding, clever..not that I'm biased. He is quite simply the best thing that has ever happened to me and my DP, I'm now expecting his little brother in four weeks and couldn't be happier.

I totally get why you worry but I promise you will adore your boy in a way you can't imagine yet.

When pregnant with DS, I really wanted a girl. We found out at 20wks that he was a boy, and it took me a while to get used to the idea. Obviously I love him to the ends of the earth and am delighted that he is him.
Dc2, we just discovered, will be a girl. I really wanted another boy, and had basically decided that we were having DS2. I am finding it much harder to adjust to expecting a girl this time than to expecting a boy last time!
But obviously I will love my little girl and all will be well.

This is why I am very much in favour of finding out the gender at 20 weeks, as you then have months to get used to what you're having, rather than potentially 'tainting' the birth with a moment of 'oh, I was hoping for the other gender'.

Cant give you any experience of girls other than to tell you when I was pregnant I was desperate for a girl. . Then had a blue eyed, cheeky faced, spiky haired baby boy. . . And never looked back.
He is the most loving wee boy ever ( he's nearly 3). Loved helping get me ready in the morning, brushing my hair, helping (!) with the bronzer brush (much to my husbands horror) and regularly tells me out the blue 'I just love you so much mummy'.
His interests are varied from making tents/dens, baking, painting, drawing, play do, pirates, Fireman Sam, farms, animals, dinosaurs, his play kitchen & dressing up. . It's not all cars & football!
I'm pregnant again now & would live a wee girl just so I can experience all things pink & glittery but if baby number 2 is even half as funny, cute, loving or cheeky as my boy then I'll be truly blessed.

. . . Just brought a wee tear to my eye typing that!