Fantastic 40+ Mum to be - part 2

[Hpbp]

Let's keep on chatting !
Awaiting to hear from you all.
Midget, how are you feeling after the sweep ?
Exexe, are you happy with the new kitchen ? Very glad to see you back on here.
Warm welcome to the only Dad we have on the thread, sorry I could not remember your name as I write this.
Have a lovely Monday. Pouring rain in Paris today.

I've updated the stats list ...

GRADUATED
10000Fireflies, DS, 21 June 2012, EMCS
Hpbp, 41, DS1 almost 4yo, DD2 Anastasia, 29 July 2012, VB
bytheseaside, DD1, 25th/26th September, EMCS (six weeks early)
Firstbubba, DS Jamie born 2 Oct, EMCS
Littleredmonkey 43, DS1 Dylan, 4th October EMCS
Fjordmor 41, DD1, 3 Oct, EMCS
Midget 41, DC2 16 Oct VB, but EMCS for placenta
Mrs?Oldandcobwebby?45, DD1, ELCS 19/10
Exexe, DC3, due for ELCS 17/10?
ValiumQueen 43, DC3 for ELCS 25/10. Jacob

PG
Knottyhair 44, DC2 due for ELCS around 17/12 Girl (Rosa)
Crazyforbaby 44, DC6 due early Jan
ClickingTock 40, DC2 due early Jan, sex a surprise (although sonographer has probably spoiled it...)
Eagleray 41, DC1 due 18/1 Girl
Riversidelibrary 42, DC1 due 29/1, Boy
Swanlike 41, 31/1
TheNoodles 41, DC1 due 14/3
Knickyknocks 40, DC2 due 17/3
MrsWooster 45, DC2 due 31/3/13 (a palindrome!) girl
Cadmum 41, DC5 due 06/04, living in Thailand
somewherebecomingrain 40, DC2 due 11/4
Scarecrow22 42, DC2 due 22/4
BadBuddha 42, DC2 due 5/5
Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Onemoreforgoodmeasure 40, DC1 due 06/06
RebeccaJames 40, DC2 due end June?
Siri1 41, DC1 due 12 June

Sorry if I've made any mistakes, just let me know and I'll update.

Riverside, I will be thinking of you and your Mum tomorrow. Keep us posted.

Ooh, I'm moving up the list! Half way to the top now.....it's all getting a bit real!

River thank goodness your mum has got a time and date. Thinking of you all tomorrow. Those hours tomorrow will be incredibly anxious. Sending you very un-MN hugs. Your DH sounds like he's been a rock to you in the past week. Very pleased to hear it - and well deserved too. You've been having a horribly stressful time recently. Completely a different topic but anti-d in the derriere?? Oh blimey, I don't want to get my fat spotty bum out if I don't have to . I think I'll try and take the sore arm if I get the choice when my time comes.

knotty definitely see Skyfall if you can. Worth a watch on the big screen. Think it's just over 2 hours, but it passes by quickly. I managed to get through it without getting up to go to the loo (a miracle it seems at the moment....)

siri so sorry to hear about you losing a twin. One of the ladies I work with had the same thing happen with her in the early weeks, and eventually delivered the remaining twin baby boy (who was gorgeous) with no problems. I really do hope that things go as smoothly - it sounds a fairly common thing to happen (though really horrible).

Have been devouring the advice about getting two little ones to bed. Think it sounds like get the baby in bed first then tackle the toddler. It's all incredibly handy advice (I love this thread!).

Was told by a woman I work with today that my bump is really showing now and that I'm starting to look really wide. Errr thanks?? And then as if to make things better (but made it so much worse), said (in a loud voice in an open plan office), no just turn round you can't tell from behind. Marvellous. So, I look wide, but it's OK it's apparently only from the front. BUGGER OFF!!!!!

Hello ladies

It's taken me ages to pick up the confidence to rejoin, but here I am.

I thought you wonderful 40+ ladies would be able to give me a bit of advice re: amnio's.

Much to my surprise, my neuchal risk has come back at 1: 357 - pretty damn good considering the average for age 40 is 1:96.

I was fully expecting to be high risk & need an amnio. So I'm now a bit unsure, as the miscarriage risk quoted by foetal medicine at the hospital is 1:150 ie I have a higher chance of m/c following the procedure than Down's.

But I'm concerned about other chromosomal abnormalities & about relying on a screening test rather than diagnostic result. I don't think DP & I can cope with a disabled child.

But I also know that this is my last pregnancy, and I've also had 2 miscarriages, so this is realistically my last chance at having a baby.

Has anyone else chosen to have an amnio with a similar level of risk?

I'd be interested in hearing all experiences & views - thanks

It does sem a bit closer, suddenly! I'll race you, Knicky - they're inducing at least a week early, so I am only a week behind... Either way, there's going to be a rush on in that few weeks.

Feel like I am at least 145, let alone 45 this week. The diabetes is being an exhausting bore - controlllable through basically cutting down on eating anything at all. Just to put the cherry on the non-existent cake, we have been enjoying the sick bug at Wooster Mansions AND I am going back to work tomorrow after three weeks off trying to stabilise the diabetes. Oh joy.

Hi Cheese. I heve just been through the testing thing too... did you have the NHS test? If so, my consultant told me that this is much less 'sensitive' than the private ones - if trhere's any way you can get a private one, especially with the additional 2nd trimester bloods, the risk will be much more detailed which may help to make a clearer decision about amnio... My first test was 190, adjusted to 510 with nasal bone and then, after 2nd bloods, went to 1800 which eased the mind considerably.

Cheese, sorry to hear about the mc. I am 41, first blood, nasal bone and nuchal tests gave an adjusted risk of 1:1500 approximately (NHS at UCLH) so I thought no amnio. But during 20 week scan, sonographer found that baby had short long bones, which could be a sign of chromosome's disorder. That was the only soft marker that wasn't in line. At that point I felt baby moving all the time and I could not see myself terminating and too scared of mc with amnio. I was thinking what if the baby is fine but amnio provoked mc ? Not sre I could ave lived with that. DH was refusing to have disabled child all the more as we already have a son. Eventually, I opted for amnio, the first results (Trisomy 13, 18 and 21) came back, all clear and final reading when I was 27 weeks, big as a whale and feeling foetal movements all day long. That was last April. I am now for the second time a mum of a beautiful, healthy 16 week baby.
What I am trying to say is if you feel you might go for amnio, don't leave it for too long. It is too hard to make a decision. We will all be here for you.

Cheese, forgot to say congrats on this pg, I remember you joining earlier this year, am I mistaking ? You are lucky and blessed.

Thank you hbpb & mrswooster for sharing thoughts & experiences. Yes, I was pregnant earlier this year & was on the thread until June.

I'm in Edinburgh & there's just not the same quality/choice of private care up here - if I was nearer the foetal medicine centre in London I'd be there like a shot!

I had standard NHS neuchal screening - using neuchal fold, HCG & PAPP-A. So I don't think the nasal bone (which I saw on my 10.5 week scan) was considered as it's a soft marker. Guessing my risk is probably lower taking that into account.

Personally, I don't think this baby has Down's but I am concerned about other chromosomal abnormalities.

Thanks again for support - always appreciated!

I guess I'm just very anxious in general about this pregnancy. I'm high risk due to previous severe, early PE & after the m/c I'm left even more so.

Hi lotsofcheese just been thinking about tests myself. It is so difficult being on the over 40 side. I'm so fed up with my NHS area, the midwife gave me the impression that they don't do nuchal translucency here at all. I'd have to go to BUPA. They do offer blood tests but because we have a vanishing twin, the blood tests are less likely to be helpful. Me & DH decided we are just going to take our chances as this is also our last shot (after 4xIVF, 2xFET). I guess you have to go with your gut on this. My heart goes out to you. Xx

Just went to see the latest Twilight and you wouldn't believe it but over an hour into the film and the projector quit. There was some sulking (me mostly) some booing (other people) and some asked for free popcorn while we waited. The cinema bods refused. How rude!
They did give us free tickets but I don't think I could be bothered sitting through the 1st half again...maybe I'll go watch Skyfall again...

Cheese and Siri - lots of good and wise advice from others here. FWIW I would say two things. One is that the risk of other chromosomal disorders they test corr is a few thousandths of the Downs risk - ie super, super rare. I am not suggesting complacency, only that it is kept in perspective - we all have enough to worry about.
Also, I realise that living in London in a two income house this is easy to say, but if you can afford the time and money at all, take a day off, get on a train and go to the Feotal Med Centre. I can't speak highly enough of them and for me £180 was a more than reasonable price for huge reassurance I got: they were so professional and talked to me about the results like an intelligent being and an adult, where fab though my hospital is, they have a tendency to gloss over things and talk down a bit.
I hope that is some reassurance, even if only the first bit. Forgive my little pressure sell: I only want to make sure you consider it thoroughly.

AFM (really writing that as only just worked out what it means ), only just on train home from work and not had supper so on edge! Did seriously contemplate asking man by the door if I could have the other half of his hot pasty! Afterbi'd considered and dismissed the option of mugging him for it... Nothing more interesting to impart!

Oh somewhere VBAC clinic (sorely for my confusion) is where midwives talk to small group to try and persuade reassure them that VBAC is a good thing. I think a bit of a lite-brainwash, but not been yet. I guess you can use it to ask lots of questions, but I've already met the midwife who runs it, who was lovely, and she still couldn't answer even semi basic questions...

PS Knotty Skyfall is 2h 22m ex trailers and ads. I had to go to the loo during Adele's theme song! Did survive rest of film though without. It is brill, but if you have to run to loo you are not going to miss a subtle plot development or us context... I am going for bust now feel so much more human again and going to try see Gambit on Fri this week. My mum only lives 5mi away so have roped her in to babysit. Last time we paid a babysitter and partly because we had noodles before, partly because Skyfall so long evening cost me £80!!!

cheese! so nice to see (read) you!

Well done on your nuchal result. I agree with scarecrow the FMC is great i went there although i will say i had this spanish guy and couldn't understand a word he said really.

wishing you a peaceful smooth time with it all.

MrsWooster I'm sorry Wooster mansions has the sickness bug. hope you feel better soon.

hpbp missed your short bone drama - glad it turned out well. hope you and midget are having a gorgeous time with your little ones.

xx

riverside thinking so much of your mum, you and your family.

MrsWooster do hope you are all over the bug now and on the mend. Please take care of yourself and massively rehydrate, even consider salts or coconut water (or when you can face it, milk). Drink, drink.

yes riverside crossed posts, am thinking of you and your mum and hope the operation goes well. xxx

Cheese I am in Leeds and used This Is My (ridiculous name, great service...) The whole shebang was £195 (thanks, Pa, and Ma-in-law) and we're not as far away as London...

Okay, I SO win pregnancy insult of the day.... Was chatting to woman in canteen and she asked if pregnancy was my 1st, 2nd, 3rd...? I said second and she replied "you must have a veeerry big gap between them." Really. Somebody said that. Out. Aloud.
In her defence I have quite grey hair. But still!

Ah ha: MrsW... Are you drinking lots?! Rehydrate!!

I'm trying to... List of things that DON'T aggravate the diabetes monster is v dull and becoming O.L.D - though perhaps a word I shouldn't use after your insult of this morning! I hope you came up with something cutting, a la Dorothy Parker and spun on your sensible, middleaged- heel.

Best pregnancy insult retort I heard was:
"Was it an accident"
"Yes, I tripped over and landed on a dick"

Just wanted to pop on to say welcome back to lotsofcheese and thinking of you & your family riverside.
Also, did anyone see OBEM What Happened Next last night? I did laugh when the mum of triplets said an elderly lady she had met in the street had looked at the babies and said to her "what happened, did he leave it in too long?" .

I saw it - forced DP to watch it, and then he burst into tears when it turned out that baby Jake was disabled

Triplet mum did a great job of dealing with endless comments!

Sorry for short messages - on phone!

Oh no I missed OBEM what happened next.....bugger.
scarecrow - blimey, the coveted title of worst insult of the week surely has to go to you...bloody hell...she said that out loud???

cheese I remember you from the 40+ conception thread. Wonderful to see you here! Not sure I can add any further useful advice re the tests. The chances of other chromosomal abnormalities is really really small as scarecrow says. Completely understand your anxieties though - it's easy to be swayed by all the statistics you hear about the over 40's. I have found this pregnancy tougher mentally thinking about all the risks, but really your nuchal scan results are good. In my hospital they also would not have recommended any extra testing unless it was less than the 1 in 150 result.
mrsW that diabetes and sickness bug sounds miserable. We've just had 3 consecutive nights with a vomiting 3 year old - with duvets and pillows being washed at all hours. Hope the bug passes quickly - and as for that damned diabetes.......hopefully by the beginning of April you can get back to the chocolate cake (will you be able to go back to eating normally after LO arrives?)
river update us when you can about your mum. Hope things have gone well today.

Starting to feel decidedly unattractive and can't remember the last time me and DH did the do (bar from the obvious). What with the morning sickness then a bit of SPD thrown in, I'm feeling none too sexy. To be fair, since our DD came along 3 years ago things have all slowed down a bit, but things feel at a bit of a stop at the mo - hope I get my mojo back when this one arrives Anyone else feeling the same?

Yes. Or YEESSS if you ask DP. There has been the odd flourish but the whole idea of any bedroom shenanagins more lively than a swig of gaviscon and a couple of desultory goes at a suduko is dreadful. There must be some people out there who shag wildly all the way through pregnancy and having children under 5 but it certainly ain't me.