Am doing a very good headless chicken impersonation and need some help sorting issues out

[Wills]

OK, today's not been a good day and although none of the issues are screamingly major there's too many for my tired pregnant brain to cope with so I'm sitting here running away from everything instead. Need some thoughts so I can put sensible plans/resolutions into place - help on any of these issues would be extremely welcome.

Issue 1
I'm 31 weeks pregnant and due for my midwife checkup at 3.00 this afternoon. Am not feeling great (blooming shattered), had a tiny bleed last night (could be dh and I making love etc (sorry if tmi)) and am getting strong braxton hicks (possibly perfectly normal for 31 weeks etc etc. The problem is that being completely dozey I went out the house this morning to drop the kids off without my handbag (i.e. train pass, mobile phone, work pass, house keys etc etc etc). I've finally tracked a friend down and got my spare key and got back in. It would now take me a minimum of 1 hour to get into work (probably more) and I had been planning to leave at 1.45 to get home for the antenatal. I could work from home but feel guilty. I had yesterday and Monday off and finish altogether on 5th April. My husband has an operation next Monday so I had been planning to do my first ever sicky as I have to drive him down to Portsmouth (we live North of London but have stuck with the same consultant for his illness). I have one day's holiday left and had hoped to use that midweek next week as 4 days on the trot at work at the moment would do me in (am really really shattered). I hadn't really told them about the antenatal as I know they wouldn't be happy at me having yesterday off and not today instead. I'd hoped to do a lot of obvious work in the morning and sneak off in the afternoon. My boss's secretary knows that I have an antenatal its just that I know he would have forgoton. So do I cancel antenatal and go into work this afternoon?

Issue 2
My children's Nanny is 7 weeks behind me in terms of pregnancy. I was really worried about her yesterday when she complained of pains and sent her off to hospital. They think she went into premature labour but its now stopped (she's 24 + 5) so they've sent her home to rest. She'd planned to come into work tomorrow and I was mortified and said no I'd arrange something else. What I don't understand is why the hospital are not treating her better. I don't know what to do cos I don't want her to feel under any pressure from me whatsoever but.... I need to know what's happening because I need to arrange alternative cover. If she's not up to working then why haven't they signed her off? If they thought she was in premature labour even if its now stopped why are they more concerned. I don't want to scare her by asking her these sorts of questions We don't have much money and what we do have is desperately going towards my impending maternity leave. I need to find cover for next week and the week after and could really do with her getting signed off so that I can claim some of her wages back from the government to use towards a temp nanny to cover the time left for me to work. Does that sound callous?. Also I desperately need to sort next week out. The results from dh's last op 2 weeks ago weren't awful but they weren't good either so this is to go looking further etc. Both of us are tense and I need to know who will be looking after the girls so that life is as settled as possible for them. But don't feel I can ask the nanny if she's planning on being back.

Heeeelllllppppp

Only read issue 1, but the answer is simple... shit happens and work are going to have to live with. it. Don't cancel appt - the health of your unborn child is the most important thing - especially give the bleed etc... GO!

answer to question 1 - go to the midwife - if you have a problem with your pregnancy you will be signed off sick from work anyway - and given you are leaving soon a few days either way won't make a difference to your work. And if you can work from home anyway why bother feeling guilty.

I would phone in and say you won't be in, you've had some bleeding, you're seeing the midwife this pm and will let them know. I think I would be considering being signed off sick until the 5th too.

Poor you - and I wouldn't blame your pregnant brain, that's a lot for anyone to be dealing with.

As for work - agree with everyone else, and anyway, it's your legal right to have paid time off for antenatal appointments, regardless of whether you had a day off on Mon or not.

And yes, if you could get signed off sick and/or work from home, this would sort a lot of things out - I think you just need to talk to your nanny gently, ask her questions without telling her what to do. It may be that she's worried about money too, and would rather work on.

Morethan1 - we obviously have similar pregnancies . At the moment I seriously feel that I've left my brain somewhere - not sure where. I've awful back ache, can't sleep, get sickness swings, fat ankles etc etc. When they tell me I'm blooming, I say yes, blooming tired, blooming stupid, blooming knackered!!!

2cats - spoke to our nanny last night. She's adament that she wants to return to work next week and has her doctors blessing so I can't say no. But can't shift the feeling that they're desperate for the money and hence why she wants to work on.

I take it you didn't go to work or the antenatal appointment from the time of your post?!!

That was yesterday. Glad I went to antenatal as I've now got to see the doctor about a couple of things - just to check etc.