hey guys, I'm new to here, really at the end of my tether, didn't know where else to go/turn. I need some wisdom/advice.
I'm 27, 8 weeks pregnant and my 37yr old partner of 4 years has just left me totally out the blue for another woman....in the States. He left on Friday, told me he doesn't know when he'll be back and that he's applying for a business visa so he can stay out there.
Its been a total shock, as far as I was aware, we were great, we were planning for this child, planning to move to the States together, only indication I had was that he was a bit distant three days prior to me finding out he was cheating. I feel like such a mug.
He's made it clear that he doesn't want this child and has tried everything from emotional blackmail to offering me £250 000 to have a termination!! He's said he will financially support this child but that he never wants to see me again. That I'm only having this child out of spite to try and trap him/control him and that he's never coming back and I'm selfish to bring a baby into this world without a father. I don't know what I've done wrong, he hates me and is saying horrible things and I don't deserve it. Why do I feel like the bad person?
Anyway, we have been living together for the past three years, luckily I kept my flat during this time so i have somewhere to go but I don't have a job. I've been a house girlfriend, traveling around with him for the past three years (he's really well off) so now I have no income, not even my own savings I had at the start of the relationship and I'm finding it impossible to find a job. I asked him for help until I got back on my feet and he accused me of being a gold digger.
Again I feel like a total mug.
Is he right? Would I be the most selfish person ever bringing this child into the world in my financial situation? My mum, bless her, has been trying her best to help me but is terrified to say anything in case she influences my decision, I haven't even been able to bring myself to tell my dad yet, I'm so ashamed of whats happened. My friends haven't said it but I can tell they think I would be crazy to have this child.
I can't stop shaking, I'm just numb, I tried to talk to my midwife but she didn't say much, just gave me her card and said i could call and get an abortion booked whenever but that the sooner the better!!!!! That was it.
I have been wanting/planning this baby for 8 months, now that I'm pregnant I feel the world is against me and my world is falling apart. I really don't know what to do.