Terrified

[mildred37]

I've namechanged for this one.

I had mc at 6 weeks, back in July. I'm now pregnant again, (5+2) and absolutely petrified of that 6 week mark. I'm not letting myself believe that I will make it to 7,8, 12, 20 weeks or that I will even end up with a baby next year. I have covinced myself that I am going to mc again, and it scares the hell out of me. What if I can get pregnant but not carry? It's getting me down and the fact that I have very few pregnancy symptoms (sore breasts, tiredness, hunger - all of which I had prior to mc) makes me think that I won't have this baby. I've not even been to see my GP for my booking in appointment, because it will be a waste of time to just go back a week or two later to say that I don't need it anymore.

I KNOW alot of women mc their first pregnancy, but I just am not convinced that this will happen for me. All I can do is wait and see; and I am the most impatient person in the world! I want to skip forward to 12 or 20 weeks and just have some reassurance that everything is okay.

Congratulations! Sorry to hear about your earlier mc. Stay strong. You should go to the booking in appt though and ask for an earlier scan. We had one at 8 weeks (due to losing our first at 17 weeks) which helped us get through to the 12 week one.

All I would say though is this. I think for some people (definitely me!), once you have had an awful experience, you will just worry regardless anyways. It doesn't go away just because you've had the 12 week scan or even the 20 week one. I'm 31 weeks now, and still petrified that something could go wrong. There is no reassurance unfortunately. You just have to believe and hope that everything will be ok in the end and that what's meant to be will me.

Sending you lots of good vibes and best wishes for a healthy successful pregnancy.

Thank you for your reply bluemoon. The trouble is, I don't have any hope, belief, faith at all. I will ask for an earlier scan though, thank you for that advice.

i could have written this post myself a couple of weeks ago. I had a mc at 5+2 in march and got pregnant again in june like you i was a 100% convinced it would happen again.

i put off booking my booking appointment as i actually had my mc when i was walking TO the appointment so i felt like i would be jinxing myself just going to it.

i then had hardly any symptoms, literally the only symptom i had then was a bad taste in my mouth and aversion to coffee and tea.

that never changed as i still have not had any other symptoms.

when i went for my 12 weeks scan i was absolutely 100% sure they were going to tell me there was no baby there i had convinced myself again that there is no way everything is OK.

but it was there was a baby WITH a heartbeat, the relief i felt is probably like nothing i will ever feel again in my life.

i am today 14 weeks and started to relax about the fact that i have no symptoms and starting to believe people that i am just lucky not to.

i wish you all the best just believe it's all going to be OK, easier said than done i know!

best of luck to you

Mildred I can completely understand where you're coming from.

My 1st pregnancy resulted in DS (3.5) being born at 29 weeks due to PE.

I then became pregnant a year ago & had a m/c at 6-7 weeks, which was subsequently diagnosed as a molar pregnancy.

I was pregnant in April this year & thought it would be "3rd time lucky" and it MUST go right, by a law of averages & I was due some good luck. A good scan at 8+5 confirmed this. I then went on to miscarry at 11.5 weeks - it was a mmc where the baby had died at 9-10 weeks.

I am now pregnant again - about 5 weeks - and like you, have no symptoms.

My mindset now is that I don't expect NOT to m/c. I have extremely low expectations. Whilst that is a negative mindset, I think it will see me right.

What is it they say: hope for the best - but prepare for the worst.....

Wishing you lots of luck & hoping it does work out

I have friends who had no pregnancy symptoms, and they went on to have healthy babies :)

Thank you for your replies. In the past few minutes I've started getting period-like pains so I'm preparing myself for the worst really. Not a definate but likely it would seem.

lotsofcheese, wishing you the best of luck too. If you need to talk feel free to PM me.

Mildred, I had lots of period type pains early on with both my pgs, it was just my uterus stretching to accommodate a rapidly growing baby! I have no experience of mc but just wanted to reassure you that everything you've said so far sounds totally normal.

I too could have written this post myself. I miscarried last year at 9+5 weeks, and when I became pregnant again a few months later I was completely unable to believe that anything other than the worst would happen again. Even now (at 27+2 weeks) I am not counting my chickens until they're hatched (ha, that's actually not a bad analogy). Your feelings are entirely normal. The way that I rationalised things to myself was: either the miscarriage was a one-off, in which case my chances are much better this time, OR there is something else wrong, in which case there are investigations that can be done and other things that can be tried. But it is much more likely that you are one of us who have one loss but whose bodies then cotton on to what they are supposed to be doing.

Also, I personally think that although it's not a nice thing to be thinking about, i don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have in your mind (hopefully at the back, but i can see why it's at the front for you) the lnowledge that it might not all go to plan. I would have found my miscarriage easier to deal with if I'd had some education about it or if the possibility had even been mentioned at my booking appointment, rather than it being the great unmentionable for fear of upsetting the rosy pregnancy apple-cart. I found out later that quite a few of my friends had had miscarriages, especially first time round, and I was shocked at how ill-prepared I was for what is statistically quite a common occurrence at my age. I'm not saying that everyone should be worrying through the early stages of their pregnancy, but that we might find it easier to deal with the losses if we'd had a way of understanding them as an incredibly sad part of reproduction, rather than feeling (as I did) that I'd been unfairly singled out in some way.

As another poster recommended, try to get yourself an early scan if you can - I had 3 early scans with this pregnancy at the local Early Pregnancy Unit because I had brown spotting, which had signified the start of the miscarriage for me before.

One final point - you might find, as you progress and you tell other people, that you feel under pressure to share in their great excitement even though you may still be feeling worried yourself. There's another short thread about this point that I don't know how to link to but you will find it of you search for my name - I wasn't the original poster but I commented on it, and there are some lovely supportive things there.

Well hello!

I currently have a loony thread going entitled "holy mother of crap"
There also another thread full of women like you and me who go on there to just rant and be neurotic because we have all been where you are.

I had my 7th miscarriage in March of this year.
So, of course, naturally i believed myslef to be incabable of a healthy pregancy.

A bfp to me means..oh hell, here we go again, no excitement, no happy feelings, no plans for the future.
I make no appointments with any one, tell no one, sheck my pain killer cupboard for when it starts...not IF it starts, WHEN it starts.

BUT
Here i am, 20 weeks on, had 20 week scan yesterday and gues what??? Its really happening, now, today, i can tell myself that i CAN do this, its my time now and next year we will have our long awaited baby.

HTH xxx

Hi! I am same, had three miscarriages (one of them MMC) and doctors had all but sworn off my womb to the junkyard. One twat even suggested a hysterectomy despite the fact I am only 27!

I am currently 14+4 with my first baby, and I too keep believing something is going to go horribly wrong. But I've had three scans so far (due to previous issues) and my baby is a wriggly, beautiful little thing that I can't stop scaring at the scans of. I don't think I'll really believe it until I have a proper bump, but all signs are really good and I am healthy and able... and I finally have my little miracle.

Just try to relax, as worrying is only going to put more pressure on you and on your little one. I truly wish you all the best and promise you, the universe will provide when the time is right :)

MC is horribly scary and to MC your first pregnancy must be awful :(.

I was so lucky that my first pregnancy was relatively worry free, although I did have a big bleed and threatened MC at 14 weeks, but apart from that it was fine.

I then went on to have 3 MMCs around 12 weeks and 2 early MCs around 6 weeks.

I'm now 37 weeks with DS2 and it's been a long and, at times, anxious journey. All I will say is that worrying won't help, and if at all possible try to live it one day at a time until the milestones that reduce your odds of any problems. I know that's much easier said that done however.

Wishing you well.

Thanks for all your replies. It's been an anxious few days and i'm sorry I'm only just coming on to reply.

I went to see my GP yesterday who was really reassuring (same GP I saw when I MC). I also got my booking in appointment sorted, which is next Thursday. I've not had so many pains, but I am waking up in the night feeling not right - uncomfortable etc. but I think it's just wind

Tomorrow I will be 6 weeks pregnant. I'm not so much dreading it; I just hope it goes quickly. I'm at work 7am - 8pm which is good; if I was at home all day I'd be thinking about it, and work is a good distraction. I can't wait to get to the 7, 8, 9 week point. I am feeling a tiny bit more confident as each day goes past, and yesterday after booking my appointment with the midwife I actually felt excited for the first time. I'm hoping I'll have a scan at this appointment too - or at least get one booked ASAP.

Thank you for all your kind words. I was definately in a dark place this weekend and now I am finally coming out and seeing the light.