Boyfriend struggling to deal with lack of control over baby

[cremepatisserie]

My other half has just revealed that he's developed some kind of mild OCD and has started obsessing over the order he does things at work. He's scared if he does something the 'wrong way round' something bad will happen to me or the baby. Normally, he's incredibly rational and logical which is why it's scaring him I think.
I'm six weeks pregnant and I suspect he's struggling with not having any control over the health of the baby and me (other than feeding me the right things!) and is instead trying to compensate by controlling other things.
I've reassured him he's not 'weird' and he knows we're doing everything we can to keep me and baby healthy. I've also tried to explain that if something goes wrong, it goes wrong for a reason, but that reason isn't his fault, or mine.
Does anybody know of anything that might help him - a book perhaps? I've had a look on dadsnet but can't find anything.
Thanks for your help!

Imsorry,this must be such a stressful thing for you both. I haven't experince of this but I wonder if you might get more replies if you posted in the health section and put OCD in the title? Just a suggestion

Hi, not really sure what I can say, but I didn't want you to go without any answers!

I would get him to see his GP as soon as possible - if he is this bad only 6 weeks in, I think the chances are that it'll get much much worse as your pregnancy progresses, which is the last thing you need. If you feel like his GP isn't taking him seriously, try to get a second opinion, or maybe there is some sort of OCD doctor?

Congratulations to both of you :)

It also might help him to read some info about how he can support you during various stages of your pregnancy - giving him some semblance of control or input over what is happening to you. Little things like rubbing my stomach with cocoa butter and making sure I take my vitamins has helped my husband feel like he is helping towards our baby's health and growth, and my sanity too!

I do also think he should see a GP though. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Your DP needs to tackle this quickly, before it gets worse. Get him to see his gp and hopefully he should get referred for cognitive behavioural therapy or other treatment. The lack of control he has now is absolutely nothing compared to how he will feel when the baby arrives and it doesn't do things in the way or at the time you expect. That will be very very difficult for him if he does have true OCD.
Your DP is not weird, not at all, and he clearly cares very deeply about you both. But for the sake of your whole family, strongly suggest he talks honestly to a trusted gp about how he's really feeling.
Very best of luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!

It's not weird of him, it is sweet! But really, he needs to get help as soon as he can. It will get worse as the pregnancy progresses - not to mention after the baby is born. I also have control issues, and the idea that my little toddler will be out in the big wild world some day terrifies me! :)

Thank you so much for all the help. I will do as you suggest KatieMorag and repost in the health section.

He has got a bit better this week (he says) but still seems very anxious to me. I think some of the posts on here helped him as he did need to feel he wasn't just being 'weird'. Unsurprisingly, he refuses to see the GP but has agreed to talk to one of his friends (who's just had a baby) about it.

I've also taken you up on your suggestion phoenixrose314 and have told him he;s now responsible for making sure I have my folic acid and vitamin D (not that I'd forget it). I've also put him in charge of the food and the meals (or so he thinks - he he!) so that'll help too I think.

XXXX

Congrats on the pregnancy OP, definitely encourage him to go to the GP.

I watched the Jon Richardson documentary a few weeks ago and it really drove it home that OCD can become quite serious if left untreated. If it can be nipped in the bud now, it will be so much healthier for all of you.