Im pretty sure im a weirdo...

[SecretCermonials]

I am 23w pg tomorrow with much wanted DS2 (DC2), suffered from fertility issues and took 14 months to concieve DS1, and 25 months to concieve this time.

During this pregnancy I have had more "symptoms" like sickness etc, heard heartbeat twice, and had 7 scans (2 private 5 NHS) had a scare at one on tue, which was rectified weds, but other than that all fine, anterior placenta so am not feeling tons but nice fluttery kicks of an evening.

But im pretty sure im a bit loopy, im actually half expecting, ( and thats key in that im not scared or fearful) that something will go wrong? I dont know if I read too much or if its because we want this baby so much, but deep down im just half expecting at some point someone to say sorry its not worked out... Thats weird isnt it?

I should say that im in a job I hate and feel like mat leave is my escape route, and ive already readied the nursery washed all the clothes etc so im not being disbelieving, I just have this nagging doubt.

Do I nee to see a doc or is some anxiety normal in a second pregnancy?

I've not had your problems conceiving, but this is also my second pregnancy. I'm 24 weeks and waiting for other shoe to drop. It's as though I've got everything I want - why am I so lucky? I am constantly terrified.

I've also had a more symptom filled pregnancy, but an anterior placenta this time. My kicks have really ramped up recently though, thankfully.

I think it's because as we already have children, we know even more keenly how awful it would be to lose these precious, so wanted little lives

You're not alone. But I know I'm a weirdo .

I think thats it, its like you know what you'll be missing?! Its crazy really as i get super excited then almost berate myself?! Im glad im not a lone weirdo haha

I'm 34w with DC2 and have moments of feeling like this. With DC1 I indulged those thoughts and worried and fretted until I had full-blown antenatal depression, extreme anxiety and then post natal depression. If DH was 5 minutes late home from work I'd be crying hysterically thinking he had been killed on a car crash. I woke up every morning in my last trimester and cry until the baby kicked because I thought he'd died too :( It was absolutely awful. So, this time while I am aware that something could go wrong I am being very careful with how I manage those thoughts and giving them as little air time as possible. So far, fingers crossed, I'm doing much better and am nowhere near the emotional wreck I was at this point last time round.

'Ello, it's me. You're not a weirdo, I'm exactly the same. You know the year we've had (!) - house fire, health problems including hospital admissions, two and three quarter years TTC....I feel like we're cursed! E keep saying we have no reason to assume it won't be a healthy pregnancy but I am basically terrified. I have a history of anxiety and depression too. I met my midwife last week and she was brilliant. She said its perfectly understandable to be worried and if I want to, she will see me weekly to make sure I'm happy and feel supported!

I think what you're feeling is totally normal :) but I think slightly. has a point in not dwelling on these thoughts. I keep saying a mantra along the lines of I have no reason to believe this will bd anything but a healthy pregnancy

Faith slightly you're both right, i keep
Telling myself all signs have been good, i think i'll relax once I've finished at stalag19 work, hopefully!

Your arent a weirdo. I took 10 years to conceive DD1 and thought that was the hardest thing, but was even more anxious with this one (currently 30 weeks)

Strangely glad its not just me

I'm 36 weeks with DC2 had lots of scans as baby is small, apart from being small we have no reason to believe there is anything wrong with baby. However, I feel exactly like you, just feel that we can't be this lucky twice, each scan (I've had a lot!) I'm just waiting on them finding something which confirms my fears. Until baby is here, I can't believe all is ok.

I wish I wasn't such a worrier but it is reassuring that others feel this way too

Good luck to all, hope we are all proved wrong!

I completely know what you mean. Before falling pg with DD1, I was told I was infertile so stopped using contraception and was pg within 6 weeks.

So when it took 18 months to conceive DD2 I just kept thinking that they must have been right and I was infertile, but DD1 had just somehow managed to stay put.

I'm now almost 28 weeks pregnant with DD2 and preparing in practical ways but I keep feeling like it's not actually going to happen and something terrible will stop her being born, or maybe there'll be something really wrong with her health.

I think with DD1, firstly we weren't trying so I didn't have the longing for a child before becoming pg, but I also had no real concept of what life would be like. Now I know how much I love DD1 and how I couldn't ever imagine her not being here, the idea of losing her little sister is pretty terrifying.

DP thinks I'm mad!

You aren't a wierdo- anxiety is totally normal, but you might want to keep an eye out to make sure that the anxiety isn't affecting your health- e.g. palpitations, panic attacks, etc. It might be a good idea to talk to your midwife if you struggle to control the anxiety, but only you could decide if it had got to that point.

It sounds like what you are experiencing atm is normal though- It just shows that you care and that you'll be a super mum... again :D

Thanks all it helps to hear that others feel the same, the next 17 weeks need to fly by!