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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you allow yourself to get excited?

19 replies

weeblueberry · 06/09/2012 10:14

I'm a cynical person. A very, very, very cynical person.

So much so that when I got a BFP on my test last night I did another test. Then another 3. Then went to the shops and bought 2 Clearblue tests. Then did another 2 this morning.

Needless to say they all came back positive (the Clearblue ones said 3+ weeks). I've got a doctors appointment booked for next Wednesday. This is my first.

My problem is that I've spent a long time assuming it would take ages to get pregnant (it actually took about 2 cycles) and so I've read a lot about 'when things go wrong' etc. At what point did you really let yourself get excited about it (think about names, 'see' yourself in the future with a baby etc)? I know a lot of people will probably say 3 months since that's when you get your first test but just wondered what everyone else thought about this. :)

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Original poster

weeblueberry · 06/09/2012 10:15

Sorry - first scan, not test. ;)

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emeraldgirl1 · 06/09/2012 10:18

weeblueberry - this could have been written by me!

Got pg much much faster than I expected, and BFF has recently had a miscarriage at 9w so (even though I am always a paranoid person) I have been even more cautious than usual.

Had 12w scan y'day and v v cautiously allowing myself to get a teensy bit excited this morning. Having a 'names' discussion with DH over brek, that kind of thing.

Still feel quite cagey about it but I know what I am like and will doubtless feel this way throughout.

DH does have a disability which we are both (in the b/g) obviously concerned about passing on, so I don't think we will ever be able to truly relax.

I want to try, though, as I kind of feel that no matter what happens, this pregnancy lark is only going to happen to us once, maybe twice and it would be a shame to spend the entire time worrying when, at the end of the day, it's kind of down to fate one way or the other. Worrying about stuff doesn't make things OK, if you see what I mean,

Congrats!!

bigsista00 · 06/09/2012 10:21

hi blueberry!

i have a DS who is 3.4, and we started trying for no.2 last october... v.excited when got pg in april, but had an early mc in may (2 days before DS bday).
now im 7.1 after the 1st cycle trying again, and although we are being over cautious about who to tell ect, im still v.excited...

point being that i dont think you can 'allow' yourself to be excited as such, if you are exicted then you just ARE, iykwim :)

Congratulations!!

milkteef · 06/09/2012 10:24

I got excited at our 10 week dating scan but there was always the very real possibility that the pregnancy still wouldn't be viable. At 20 weeks I bought my first pair of gender specific socks and waited until 28 weeks to buy the rest 'in case'.

On the other hand my friend had everything bought, delivered and put up by 21 weeks.

GingerDoodle · 06/09/2012 10:26

I only did the one test - didn't have any more and figured a line as a line!

I clearly remember saying to DH after 16w MW appt - 'We're going to have a baby'.

Don't know the exact point tho, we started the nursey about a month ago and i'm due in 4 weeks.

Best of luck.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 06/09/2012 10:26

Not until 30 weeks for me, but I'm sure I'm in the minority.

I just like to know that if anything happened they'd have a decent chance of survival by 30 weeks. (had 2 mc-so that may be why I feel this way)

Just turned 32 weeks with ds3 and now relaxed and excited!

All the best!

plannedshock · 06/09/2012 11:07

I'm 9weeks, I've done about 10 tests and even seen the baby by internal scan, but i don't have any symptoms so it still doesn't feel real obviously not showing yet so feels like this event that I can't really get excited about I've got my scan in 2 1/2 weeks so maybe that will change how I feel!! I'm happy but not excited because it doesn't feel real!!

10storeylovesong · 06/09/2012 11:22

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

EggsMichelle · 06/09/2012 11:28

Ditto, I got pregnant on my first cycle, and I was sceptical until 20+ weeks. It took my belly growing and feeling kicks (not just flutters) for my anxiety to lift and begin to get excited. 25weeks (Viable week) was probably the week it truly sank in!

nomoreminibreaks · 06/09/2012 11:37

I got excited as soon as I got a positive test. I knew it was early days but was excited that we could conceive so that was the first thing out of the way.

We had a scare at 9 weeks and had a scan but everything was fine. We had to keep reminding ourselves that things can go wrong but didn't worry too much. I'm generally an optimist though...

Clarella · 06/09/2012 12:29

I have to say we went through cycles of excitement and then caution - DH wasn't keen on discussing names for ages, even after the 12 week scan but I found that at times you actually need to get a little excited to balance out the doubt, worry, anxiety and generally feeling crap and semi serious name discussions etc distracted from this. As did naming the 'squiggle' - we went for blueberry! I was very surprised to be upduffed so quickly and similarly have had loads of friends who've had mcs so equally pragmatic and cynical. (i think I did more tests than you, mind!) We had loads of medical worry/anxiety from 9 wks till recently (prob as eggs says after 24 weeks things seem better as baby is seen as viable) and I have to say I think a level excitement is necessary as long as you are realistic or it can be exceptionally difficult at times. 6 months is a long time to wait and every one also gets a bit worried before the 20 week scan too. Plus hormones really do make your emotions/rationality rollercoaster! Name discussions only became serious after 20 week scan and genuine caution free excitement for me gradually increased as movement increased, esp when DH can feel too! However that can be another mine field as everyone feels that at very different times. I think excitedly buying stuff is a different matter, I'm still finding it hard to buy any clothes at gone 28 weeks though now simply cos I don't know which to get!

(advice I wish I could take but!) - Just try to go with the flow, no news is good news and take each week a step at a time whist still allowing yourself to imagine and dream - even in the unlikely event something 'bad' might happen, you got pregnant easily and you are still going to have a baby in the future (iykim!)

sparklekitty · 06/09/2012 12:30

Um, I've been happy throughout but only just started to get excited and believe it was all going to actually happen over the past week (37 weeks). We're all prepared but in the whole process a little bit of me has been holding back telling myself there might never be a baby to use all the new stuff. I am horrendously pessimistic tho :)

CountryKitty · 06/09/2012 13:29

After the 20 week scan for me (was today!). At this point they can detect many abnormalities (i know not all), and the downs screening etc has all been done and dusted. We don't ever organise the nursery until DC are here safe and well and for the reasons given above, don't purchase any baby stuff until after 30 weeks. But I'm probably in the minority here!

Congratulations on your BFP!!

panicnotanymore · 06/09/2012 16:57

I think I'll get excited at the point where I know that I have a viable baby even if it arrives a bit early. Until then I am going to hold a little piece of myself back just in case. I've seen it go wrong to many times for close family, and have had too many blips myself so far to allow myself to relax.

Spice17 · 06/09/2012 17:19

I'm almost 35 weeks and still feeling cautious I'm afraid, just desperate for baby to be healthy and constantly worry that she won't be, so not sure it gets any easier. I'm also a bit cynical and a natural worrier! :)

Kelbells · 06/09/2012 18:09

I've had 2 previous mc's and am now 34 weeks.... I've swung between excitement and utter anxiety and fear constantly over the last 8 months.... It's more excitement as every week goes by and the chances of a happy, healthy baby increase... I'm not sure the anxiety will go until he's safely in my arms

AgathaTrunchbull · 06/09/2012 18:28

Can definitely empathise with the worriers! We're at nearly 23 weeks and I've bought absolutely nothing and don't intend to for a while yet, just in case. I think our lovely daughter might come into the world owning nothing more than very basic clothes at this rate!

DesperateHousewife21 · 06/09/2012 18:38

I'm 29 weeks with dc2 and no major problems but I'm quite anxious during pregnancy (don't know why, no mc's or any problems at all) maybe because I've known people go through some horrible things and reading horror stories.

I won't be excited til she's safe in my arms.

whatsoever · 07/09/2012 09:50

I'm 36 weeks now and the excitement has come along in steps for me. Had an 8 week scan privately as we'd had a MMC last time. Felt relief rather than excitement when that was OK but knew that things could still go wrong (the previous pregnancy had ended between 8 and 9 weeks they think).

Felt more relief and a little bit of excitement at 12 week scan, as that was the point we'd had bad news previously.

Felt real excitement at the 20 week scan and started buying stuff at that point. Fear started to seriously decline at that point too, I haven't really felt too nervous from 20 weeks onwards.

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