What do these people mean?

[sammyleh]

Not a rant or a complaint, but I'm just after anyone's knowledge or ability to work out what people mean.

I'm 33wks today and everyone, literally everyone I meet is saying 'Really? you don't look that far along, you're so small' when I tell them how long I have left until d-day. These are mostly women who have had children but I'm just a bit unsure as to how I'm supposed to look really. All measurements with the midwife I'm told have been normal for how far along I am, I'm quite slim and have not really put any weight on my body aside from my tummy and arse.

Just starting to get a bit annoyed when people tell em I'm small for 33 weeks, surely if there were something wrong or abnormally small about my bump I'd know about it from the midwife right? Think I'm being paranoid. I know I've got a tidy bump and very little fat but seriously, I do look pretty bloody pregnant.

Anyone else experiencing this? xx

They say it because people think they have to say something about your bump. If you are slim and have not put weight on you get told how small and neat you are and if you have put on weight or have fluid retention etc then you get told you are huge and about to drop and you can't possibly have 5 weeks left etc.

Just wait til you get to due date. Or if you go overdue if you think these comments are annoying!

If the mw is happy, that is all you have to be concerned with.

I think the "Really" people are just complimenting on being neat and slim and not putting on loads of weight. They probably remember being full term themselves - but most of the weight (mum and baby) goes on in the last 6 weeks, so I guess that is what they have in mind.

Don't worry about it! Good luck with next 5/6/7/8/9 weeks

Honestly, they're probably just making conversation. Used to drive me mad, but having a baby is exciting and people like to try and share in it. Just smile and say nothing

People commenting on the size of my bump was one of the things that used to drive me mad when I was pregnant. Suddenly everyone was a midwife, and had an opinion on how big/small my bump was. I used to get one person saying I was big, and another saying I was small in the space of one day! Just try to ignore them. The only person you need to listen to is your actual midwife.

Someone told me I resembled an elephant at 32 weeks!! Measuring normal for dates and only put on a couple of stone. I think they mean well but I end up ignoring them. I bet you look fab :)

I got this all the time with DC1, less so with each subsequent pregnancy as I don't gain a lot of weight and it mostly all goes on my bump. Now, with DC3, I can get the big/small comments in one day! I measure fine - my babies are on the smaller end (6 pounds 7, and 6 pounds 14 at 39 weeks last times - smaller, but like I said, perfectly normal and healthy.)

Ignore, ignore, ignore..... (In my head I say all kinds of things, but probably not constructive!)

don't worry! I've been told I have polyhydramnios by the dr (too much water around the baby) and that is supposed to make you bigger but all I've been told today is how tight and small my bump looks. The midwife would tell you straight away if you were measuring too small/big don't take notice of anyone, just nod and smile then repeat.

All the time!!! Really gets to me some days too but all my measurements are correct etc. So I'm not worrying and trying to ignore people's thoughts on how I should look!!

I was told right up till about 30 weeks that I was huge (by various people) now they tell me I'm very small for 37 weeks (I bloody well shouldn't be as she weighs 7.5lbs already!)

I guess people feel the need to comment and telling you you're small is a better option that 'wow you're huge'

You have my sympathy!

I hated people constantly commenting on my bump - usually to tell me I was huge, but sometimes someone would tell me I was small.

You are probably the only pregnant person they've chatted to that week, and they are just trying to make conversation, whereas they are the umpteenth person who has commented to you!

It does seem insensitive that at a time when you're already feeling self concious and perhaps a bit alarmed about your rapidly changing body, and you'd really rather people pretended not to notice, everyone feels inclined to comment.

I am 17 weeks now and dreading this starting again.

I get the "oh wow, you're tiny" comments all the time. Am also 33 weeks, with my second. Lots of mothers say to me - "god I can't believe you're due in 7 weeks, I looked like that at 5 months". I am measuring fine and no cause for worry. I actually take it as a compliment. And there is nothing I can do - some people just carry more neatly and some look bigger. I think hip width must also have something to do with it as it spreads the bump slightly? I got this last time too and was actually measuring 2/3cm small from 34 weeks so will see at my next appt whether I am this time too (don't think I am!).

Anyway, I really didn't have much of a bump at all until about 28/29/30 weeks and now I feel huge but people still say I look small. As someone said above, it's just making conversation and people don't realise that it could be construed as impolite (ie no one would ever comment on the size of your arse normally but when pregnant it's fine to comment on the bump - perhaps as it is a transitory thing?).

So yes, I am in the same position but assuming all is well with the bump size (2cm either side is fine I think), don't worry!

Me as well!
I'm 33 weeks as well and it did upset me especially as between 25 - 31 weeks l was measuring 3 cm smaller than ideal. At my booking appointment (l moved) at 31 weeks bump has caught up and only 1cm smaller now.
With pregnancy, there is this very common attitude than big is better. Everyone seems to want and get excited about possibly having a 9lb baby or and excited about have a 'chunky' baby.

I really think people just say something to say something. You're absolutely right OP, if there was something amiss with the size of your bump your midwife would let you know.

I'm so used to people telling me I've ballooned I find myself saying it first now just to get it over with! I've measured bang on the average line every time I'm measured so I'm not worried. MW says when I'm stood up I look big because my bump is all upfront but when I lie down to be measured its clear I'm pretty normal sized.

I think I'm one of the people who feels the need to say something to pregnant women so I was probably guilty of this when I was the non-pregnant one.

Are you quite tall? Sometimes it doesn't seem to show so much in that case. I agree though people are probably either attempting a compliment or just saying the only thing they can think of!

I'm sure your midwife would have noticed and mentioned if she thought there was any cause for concern.

I'm 23 weeks and getting the opposite- being told how massive my bump
is by everyone except the midwife! Bump measuring exactly right for dates so I'm not too worried- as others have said, I just think people feel like they have to say something! I always look big anyway as I'm fairly short so I think a bump looks bigger on me- my SIL is one week ahead of me and looks to the casual observer like we bump is smaller but I think it's just because she's about a foot taller so it's more spread out on her!

Whatsoever- same here- I look much bigger when stood up, and I guess my bump is all up front as I don't look pg at all from the back!

Nope, not particularly tall, I'm 5'6 so average I think? Thanks for all the responses ladies... feel much better for knowing I'm not the only one. The only opinion that matters is the medical one really :)

I've put on 2.5 stone and am still being told how small I am for 32 weeks. Thankfully measurements are all fine, so I don't know what people are on about either!