Please tell me if my feelings are normal or a bit odd at 17 weeks pregnant

[Pinkflipflop]

I am 33 and pregnant with first baby, so obviously have spent most of my life not being pregnant iykwim?

I'm starting to get a bit of a pot belly now and even though I'm delighted to be pregnant (because the end result will be a baby, not because I LOVE being pregnant) I keep trying to dress to disguise my tummy. For the first time ever on Friday, a woman a work exclaimed in front of my colleagues at lunch "oh PFF, I can see your bump". I was really embarrassed, I didn't want everyone turning to me and discussing the size of my belly. I felt like I was expected to whip up my top and show everyone my stomach and it made me feel strange and not in a good way.

Also, everyone says you must be SO excited, I am pleased but definitely not walking around with a permanent smile. I just feel like me but a bit bleugh, because I'm still nauseaus and simple things like exfoliating, showering, tanning take so much effort now.

Also, is it normal to feel pressure (not pain) in lower abdomen? Over the last few days I have been feeling this pressure and I don't know if it's normal

Do you read my post and think I sound a bit strange or are these things sort of normal?

What is it that you are finding embarrassing about it all? Is it being the centre of attention, or the changes in your body? I found that period between having a proper bump and not a bit challenging, dressing wise. You do feel just a bit podgy for a while, but it gets better one the bump arrives.

I'd say the pressure feeling in your abdomen is quite normal (remember that everything is stretching a lot!), but talk to your midwife if you feel anxious of worried.

Hi there - all sounds a bit normal to me! You'll feel lots of stretching and weirdness as your ligaments etc start adjusting - a feeling which comes as goes as the pregnancy progresses.

It took me a long time to get pregnancy and for me it took a while to get my head around the idea that it was really happening. As friends had loaned me their mostly black maternity clothing it wasn't obvious that I was pregnant and like you I didn't really want it to be a big focus of conversation (wrap around black cardigan was fab for being discreet). Now I'm 35 weeks and the bump is hard to ignore (although people sitting on the tram seem to be oblivious to it when I'm looking for a seat!).

Anyway - all the best for the rest of your pregnancy

Glad for the reassurance; I don't like being the centre of attention but in addition to that I have always been thin so I finding it hard to get my head around being big. My mum says being pregnant and having weight on normally are not the same but I guess I'm being too sensitive.

I'm 17 weeks with my 2nd baby and I felt much like you the first time around. I didn't like showing off my 'bump' as I had a weird shape until about 30 weeks where I had a bump at the top, went in at the waist and then another bump at the bottom so I just looked super fat and deformed!

I also had the whole 'oh you must be so excited' thing and I felt like a bit of a fraud saying 'yes' as while the baby was very much wanted, I didn't feel 'excited'.

This time around I'm a lot different though. I am so excited and happy in a way I wasn't the first time around, I think because this time I 'get' what a huge deal and a miracle being pregnant and having a baby actually is. I also like to wear clothes that accentuate my bump (well again, bumps) because I like looking pregnant rather than fat. I also found I wore maternity clothes a lot quicker this time around as I had them all from the first pregnancy and didn't have to actually go out and buy them.

Re the pain/pressure, yes that is definitely normal. I read my diary* I kept the first time around (really a good idea if you're planning another as it does reassure you somewhat!) recently and it features a lot of 'bump ache' and 'niggly pains' around this time as I found I really started growing at around 16 weeks first time around.

Hope this all helps.

*not a 'Dear Diary, Matthew is so dreamy and today he looked at me during PE' kind of diary, just a 3-line a day type diary where I jotted notes about physical changes and symptoms etc. Really good to read back now I'm doing it for a second time.

With my first, I got very odd about the whole experience, sort of out of this worldy and like I had an alien growing inside me. Though I very much wanted the baby, and love DS1 to bits, being pregnant didn't sit well with me at all. And once I started feeling him move, those feelings intensified. Of course there seems yo be s bit of a taboo about talking about it, but I suspect it's far more common than we are led to believe.

Thank heaven for internet forums though. I didn't use MN or any othet back then, but I wish I could have discussed it somewhere as my sisters and pregnant friends thought I was a bit mad irrational and unmaternal.

I can't say I noticed much pressure at 17 weeks, but it may just because you are aware that your body is changing and growing. Have a word with your HV on both counts though, for reassurance if nothing else.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! It's means a lot to know that I'm normal!

I don't enjoy it to be honest. I am 27 weeks now and although the baby is definitely wanted I would gladly skip the whole pregnancy experience. (I have been very ill with it which hasn't helped.) To be honest I feel ambivalent at best, and in many cases straightforwardly negative about most of the physical changes, and I don't like the way it's obvious that you're pregnant. I just don't like it at all basically! So you're not alone.

Re: the pressure, I don't think my abdomen has felt comfortable at any stage, it always seems to feel tight or sore or squashed or stretched or something! I think it's pretty normal.

I'm not excited either, I'm very pleased to be having this baby but when people say "you must be so excited" I just think no i'm not actually. It would be exhausting to be in a state of excitement for 40 weeks. There are moments like feeling a kick but most of it is just normal life + not being able to put your shoes on easily.

Sounds normal to me.

I hated people talking about my bump and size of bump and asking how excited I was etc etc. don't even get me started on strangers who want to touch your bump !!!!

Your feelings sound completely normal and natural to me - thank you for sharing them. My pregnancy is very much wanted, yet I am not relishing BEING pregnant. I'm not glorifying in my growing belly (even though it's the one time in my life that I haven't felt fat!). And I can't wait for the baby to be born, but excitement seems the wrong way of describing the feeling. Also, hormones will do all sorts of funny things to you at the moment.

omg Lara is totally right the amount of strangers who feel it is their right to touch you- very inappropriate i think especially since it is probably the same people who stare at you when the same bump is 2 and having a tantrum.

I didn't like been pregnant but loved my baby from the second it was born and I realized over the following year that I did that I grew a little person!! Clever stuff!! Women are generally brilliant and amazing! Basically you are brilliant and amazing without even knowing it.

I am now 16 weeks pregnant with my second and reluctant to tell acquaintances as I can't stand the fuss I would rather tell Friends/People who I know will support us.
Speak to your Midwife about the pressure if your worried i think I felt that in my first as everything loosens up a bit and baby gets bigger.

Pinkflipflop I'm with you on this one. I'm about as far along as you and only just starting to look pregnant, as opposed to just looking a bit podgy. I'm not excited and get really annoyed when people ask me "How are you feeling", or "How's the bump" or some such bollocks (Irrational? Me?!!). I just figure it's not that unusual, most women will do / have done it, so let's not all wet our knickers eh?
Like everyone else, I'm pleased, of course I am (and was delighted when I heard the heartbeat at my MW appt last week), but it's my business and I resent this assumption that you're suddenly public property when you're pregnant.
Oh, and I also hate the whole being out of control of your body thing! I'm a Zumba / gym instructor and not being able to regulate how I look is very frustrating!

I am 15 weeks tomorrow and have to say that I have not been overly happy with how my body looked earlier, I just felt bloated and fat, and felt like i needed to come in for milking with my (to me) oversized boobs..I am normally a fitness freak and quite thin and the first trimester I just felt so fat..now I feel a bit tighter but I am also of the mind that I am hiding my bump for the time being, I find that assymetric tuncs, prefereable cut with batsleeves of cowl necks, or patterend dresses with interesting design features does to job..there will be plenty of time to show bump when it is big enough so I cannot hide it...It is a slightly strange feeling being pregnant beco for me it is a quite a big thing, (been declared infertile perviously and many failed IVF attempts) so personally I am excited, a bit nervous but also incredibly happy about it..and dont really mind talking about it if people want to listen..I obviously dont want to bore peeps to tears with rattling on about my pregnancy ...however, even though I feel great now, and do enjoy it, I also quite looking forward to when i can get back into my fitness regime, start training my horses properly and get back into my clothes properly

Hi OP.

I felt as you do, and I suspect many more women than would admit it do too.

To me, other pregnant women were beautiful (I would think you looked beautiful, I'm sure ), and I was a grotesque, swollen pod.

Hopefully you'll feel better about it later in your pregnancy, but you won't be pregnant forever!

If you were thin before, you'll probably get back to normal reasonably quickly.

Congratulation, btw.