Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Scared STIFF of birth: any motivating books/tips?

40 replies

Gemmitygem · 15/03/2006 03:01

I'm nearly 10 weeks but already terrified of the birth. Set on having epidural but still terrified of the pain after hearing friends' horror stories. I have a low pain threshold and am a nervy kind of person, and am scared I won't be able to cope or will go a bit loopy or something.

Does anyone know of any motivating books or other advice? I think I'd feel better if I prepared by trying to think positively during the next few months! Any help appreciated!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Pruni · 15/03/2006 14:53

As someone who said no episiotomy and ripped oddly - episiotomies aren't as bad as made out and tbh if they do a lot they're probably old hands at it...

Sakura I knew a Japanese midwife - she was shocked at how much pain relief is on offer here in the UK. Are you a Japanese speaker, btw? Somewhere on the web there is a page of translations for terms to do with midwifery and birth.

queenrollo · 15/03/2006 17:24

my fears were centred around my small frame.....i was convinced my baby was going to get stuck and i would tear badly. as it turns out i had a short labour, with an episiotomy at the end to help ds out as he was starting to get stressed.
in hindsight i realised i was so calm and entranced that i just 'zoned' through the whole thing.
i did find that i was terrified of the birth, and really dwelt on that fear until my bump started to show. i found the first three months were a complete non-event after the excitement of telling people i was pg.....i knew i was pregnant but nobody could see i was pregnant so my mind was totally occupied with the impending birth. once my bump started to show and people noticed i was expecting i started to get more excited and less apprehensive about the arrival.

BonyM · 15/03/2006 17:31

Just want to second Lockets' recommendation of Birthing from Within - it's a fantastic book and made me feel a whole lot more positive about dd2's birth.

Original poster

Gemmitygem · 16/03/2006 03:44

thanks everyone!

Queenrollo, I think that's the prob, 1st trimester, not told many people, not showing, but feeling wonky = obsess about the birth. I'm sure I'll feel happier with the bump, and once into the 2nd trimester, where my mum says you go all bovine and happy like a cow chewing the cud.

Can't wait!

OP posts:

RosiePosie · 16/03/2006 07:46

I'll third "Birthing from Within" too - it's a really inspirational book. It doesn't gloss over the truth about childbirth - the gist of it is "childbirth is hard work, it hurts a lot and you CAN do it". It really helped me "get my head around" childbirth - that it's okay to lose control and let your body just do what it needs to do. I gave birth 10 days ago, at home, and there was a point in the labour when I conciously thought " I don't need to stay in control, I can do whatever I need to, to get this baby out " and from then on, bellowed loudly through each contraction - it felt fantastic, much better than G&A. BTW, this was my third, and I was more terrified about the birth than with either of the others. It doesn't matter if you "go a bit loopy", I reckon if more women didn't feel so inhibited, childbirth would be a better experience.

corblimeymadam · 16/03/2006 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tonton · 16/03/2006 10:24

I had an emergency cs last time and never got as far as 2nd stage of labour. So feel like a beginner this time (due in 5 weeks). I've been very scared but a friend reccomended a book called 'Blooming Birth'. It's written by a british journalist and a doula. I like it because it seems squarely ainmed at modern working women who want the truth and useful tips. It is honest about the pain and bad things but gives very good tips and suggestions. The best one is to get a doula, which I have done and am really pleased. Oh and I've bought a birthing ball! As other people have said, dh is no expert!

WideWebWitch · 16/03/2006 10:35

Hiya, I liked Birthing from within too, it is a hippy dippy book but I found a lot of it v helpful. I also had a book recommended to me by a mumnsetter, I WISH I could remember what it was called but if I find it/remember I will post again. Anyway, my best bit of advice is that I worried and worried about childbirth second time round and only afterwards realised that it made no difference whatsover! So I could have saved myself the hassle and had a calmer pregnancy had I realised it earlier. Good luck.

Original poster

Gemmitygem · 16/03/2006 10:45

thanks!

Belgianbun, I'm working in Central Asia, planning to come back for the birth in Aug (don't want to fly after 30 wks).. so this all prob adds to nerves. thinking of having the baby in Belgium though.. have family there and heard the care is v good..

OP posts:

RosiePosie · 16/03/2006 11:13

"it is a hippy dippy book" - yep, I bypassed all the stuff about "birth art therapy", that bit didn't appeal to me at all. The second half of the book is fab though.

WideWebWitch · 16/03/2006 11:22

Oh I agree rosieposie, I wasn't dissing it at all! I just skimmed over some of the more out there stuff.

corblimeymadam · 17/03/2006 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

miranda2 · 17/03/2006 14:38

HI! Haven't read down so someone else may have already recommended this, but there is a BRILLIANT book by Ina May Gaskell. I had a bad time with my first birth and was dreading the second, but this gave me all the confidence I needed and her tips made it a fabulous experience (and I never thought I could honestly say that!). SHe wrote one called 'Spiritual Midwifery' and another called (I think) Ina May's Guide to Childbirth - this latter I was lent by my sister who is training to be a midwife. It is a little bit hippy in some of the birth stories, but there is some really good stuff in there and I highly recommend it. her basic message is that childbirth is what our bodies are designed for, and will be fine! Very reassuring.

madmarchhare · 17/03/2006 14:49

gem, I had a crap birth, HOWEVER, I know that it was just that one and not every birth. My point is that I would not worry about any consequent births just because of it.

Just to add that if when you are reading/watching anything about giving birth and it still worries you, then dont do it. Having all the details doesnt necessarily work for everyone.

It may be useful to book some parent classes in advance if you are not going to be around until the later stages.

emmared1980 · 17/03/2006 22:33

Hi I really would try not to worry too much. The only stories people ever hear are the bad ones! I've had 2 children now and would really say it's not that bad at all. Mine were quick and I can honestly say that I didnt find it that painfull!(freak). You just have to say to your self it has to come out and why should you be the one with the painfull birth! The births on the TV programs will probably freak you out even more as they never seem to have straight forward births on especially the American ones. Don't worry I bet it wont be half as bad as your expecting and just remember that you will have something at the end of it all!!!

Flip

1 2