What do midwives think of doulas?

[MissPollysTrolleyed]

My pregnancy yoga teacher has been encouraging me to consider having a doula at my birth as I'm pretty terrified by the whole thing following a difficult previous birth but also desperate to have a drug-free birth this time.

I've got to admit that I am a bit sceptical about doulas and also wonder whether they annoy midwives. I'm a professional and would feel undermined if I had to deal with my clients through or in the company of an unqualified but opinionated intermediary.

I asked this at my booking in appointment and the midwife said they are always happy to have another pair of hands as long as they don't stop them doing what they need to do. And a good doula won't. She is there to support you, but also to make sure you get what you want, and that's fine.

My doula used to be a midwife actually, though she still doesn't give any medical advice she says, just to ensure she isn't stepping on mw toes. I haven't given birth yet, so not sure how it's all going to work, but I feel happy and excited about the birth, and I think having her helps, also hypnobirthing... have you considered hypnobirthing? Whatever it does on the day, it's certainly taken all the fear out of this bit for me.

My sister had a horrible first birth and came with me to the hypno sessions and said if she ever did it again, she would 100% do hypnobirthing.

And doulas may not have medical qualifications, but they will have been at hundreds of births, so their opinions are based on experience. Also they won't be giving advice or opinions in the birth unless it's something you have asked them to do. You spend a lot of time with them pre the birth so actually anything they ask for is something they have already established is really important to you.

Thanks Polly. That's helpful. I have heard lots of really positive hypnobirthing stories but I think hypnosis suits people who are quite suggestible and I don't think it's for me. Very active labour exercises suit me best but have the downside of being tiring if I'm in it for the long haul so I need someone to coach and encourage me. I feel that's my DH's role but my pregnancy yoga teacher, who I like and trust, feels a doula would help and support both of us in our respective roles.

I don't know about the hypnosis thing as in my experience, hypnobirthing isn't really about hypnosis. It's just about relaxation and breathing - using visualisation and breath to help you relax. I think the word is a misnomer. I have never managed to get anywhere near a state of hypnosis in my hypnobirthing practice, but I have managed to get pretty relaxed.

I haven't given birth yet, so no idea if it will work for me!

I am doing it alone, so my situation is different, but a doula is there to support you and your husband - if needs be, to support your husband so he can support you.

Why don't you both speak to some different doulas then make your decision. Nothing to lose. I am in east london and can give you recs round here, or www.doula.org.uk can give you people outside of that.

I also read Ina May's Guide To Childbirth - a great book on natural birth that I really enjoyed and made me feel positive about birth.

I have done pregnancy yoga too - hoping to combine all the different bits. They are all just different coping strategies.

I had a doula and she was fab. They are not there to give medical advice, they are there to support you. It sounds daft, but somehow once I had my doula with me I remembered how to breath through the pain.

I only wanted females around me during the long bit of labour, hubby was only there for the birth. There is a lot of evidence to suggest that men can hinder labour unconsciously - a quick google will provide links, which is why we agreed that my husband would not be there for the 12+hours of labour, just for the important bit.

I had three midwives during my labour, because they have to go on breaks. My doula was there throughout and it was nice to have that continuity. Two of the midwives were lovely to her, one was rude an accused her of telling me not to push when she'd done no such thing.

I don't mind a doula in labour so long as she let's me do my job and allows me to communicate with woman and doesn't become obstructive. Some doulas seem to have their own agenda.

This is what worries me Benedict. I have huge respect for midwives and would hate for someone to try to interfere with or challenge their professional judgment.

Worldgonecrazy, that's really interesting about male birthing partners. I thought my DH was amazing last time but I've no idea what impact his presence had on a subconscious level.

Polly, I'm not in London but thanks for the link to the doula website. I guess I should have an initial chat with a couple of them. I'm now 35 weeks so I might even struggle to find someone who has a gap in their diary at this late stage.

I have worked with some fab doulas, the best ones support the woman and work with both of us to get the best outcome and stick to the woman's birth plan as closely as possible. I've worked with others who openly disagree with me despite getting the woman's consent for something eg:
Me (blah blah blah informed consent for particular procedure) so is that ok?
Woman 'yep that's absolutely fine I'm happy with that'
Doula ' no, that's not what we wanted'
Me