Anxious about inlaws

[ganglygiraffe]

For once this is not a MIL thread, but about DP's Aunt.

Family event at the weekend, they live fairly far away so we don't see these people often. I'm 33 weeks pregnant and not seen them since before I was showing.

DP's aunt grabbed me and shrieked in a crowed restaurant as soon as I walked in, everyone turned to stare. I hate the attention and just wanted to run away.

Then later outside she runs at me and says that I shouldn't rest my hands on the top of my bump as I will squash the baby's head. I said "I'm comfortable like this thank you" to which she replied "if you think happens to my baby I will kill you" this was meant to be in a 'jokey' tone. She then bent down holding my stomach and talking to it saying "give your Mum a good kick if she keeps squashing you".

I am still so upset about this. MIL is having a BBQ in afew weeks and I'm getting more and more anxious about having to see this women. I'm not at all confrontational, but I need to stand up for myself. What do say?

I know I sound pathetic, but this is really worrying me.

Sorry for any typos; on my phone so can't read back.

anything*
What do* I say.

Grr

She sounds weird but harmless to me. Smile nicely, don't engage with her daft remarks, and slide gently away to talk to someone else. Also enlist your DH's support in this.

Agree with onehand. She sounds mad. Smile politely and avoid.

Glad that you agree that she is a loon andnotme

I'm really looking forward to having this baby and being able to walk into a room without people staring and making comments. I know this is normal and people aren't doing it to be nasty, but I really do hate it

It's so true - get pregnant, and suddenly everybody owns you.

Had to laugh at the loopy aunt. Nuts.

Agree with all who say smile, nod and totally ignore.

Also it more likely to be your baby's bum at the top of your bump isn't it? Yep, she is completely loony tunes.

The questions don't stop once you have your LO one though. You will then get 'Is she/he good?' 'Do they sleep through?' 'Ooooh! Isn't she/he big/small!' and on and on ad infinitum

Just smile, nod, back away, smile, nod, back away....

Everyone around you who has ever been pregnant will also consider her a bit mad if she tries anything on. I agree with the other posters, sidestep and move away. Don't engage with her, just laugh it off.

Thank you everyone! You have really cheered me up.

Will now go away and practise my 'smile-and-back-away' technique!

I find the best way to do and maintain a bland smile is to be 'singing' a tune in my head at the same time. My favourite is the theme from Indiana Jones

what a loon! You could use the MN favourite and say "did you mean for that to sound so rude" in an equally passive aggressive jokey way back at her.

You could tell her she is a loon, of course. If she can say "I will kill you" and it's an acceptable joke, I think you could smile and sweetly say "you're absolutely barking mad, aren't you?" before you turn away, still smiling at the huge joke of it all.

I think I'd go for, "don't be so ridiculous" with a laugh and a smile, personally! :)

Laugh slightly too loudly and engage anyone else in the room in conversation immediately to get away from her.

I'd just brush it off and not acknowledge it. Hopefully she'll give up and get the hint!

Give your bump a good pat and a poke. Or tell her your baby is not made of placticine! (sp?)