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Original poster

First scan (12 weeks) anxiety. Did anyone have this?

28 replies

ladymia · 24/08/2012 10:27

I will have my first scan next week and I have not been able to sleep at all I am worried about a million and one things that could be said to me.

i have had hardly any symptoms (I know people get really sick of hearing this and i don't even dare say i am worried about it anymore because literally everyone tells me I am lucky)

I had a very early loss in March (5wks only)

This weekend will be hell for me as the last two weeks have been.

Has anyone had this and how did you overcome it?

I am quite honestly petrified Sad

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chocoluvva · 24/08/2012 10:35

Aww. Please don't worry about your lack of symptoms. I didn't have morning sickness or bigger boobs.
Actually though it sounds like you do have 'symptoms' of pregnancy hormones - ie horrible anxiety. I was sooo anxious too. I'm sure the scan will put your mind at rest and then you can enjoy the second trimester.
What are you worrying about in particular?

BonaDea · 24/08/2012 10:38

I can completely understand, as I am symptomless too but have had two scans (don't ask!) at 6 and then 7 weeks, and everything is fine.

I completely understand your anxiety. I think at least with morning sickness, you have a constant reminder that everything is going as it should. In some ways I almost feel like a fraud as I don't feel any different at all!

Chin up. You'll get through the weekend, and then next week you'll see your lovely little baby for the first time. Plan lots of things to do this weekend, stock up on DVDs and try your best to take your mind off it.

Original poster
ladymia · 24/08/2012 10:41

Thanks ladies, that actually really helps. Perhaps I do have SOME symptoms i do not usually need to be constantly reassured! :)

chocoluvva not to be morbid but my (current) biggest fear is that they tell me there is a baby there but it died a few weeks ago. I feel terrible even thinking this but when you read stuff like that it really makes you feel sad.

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eagleray · 24/08/2012 10:51

Hi - was in your position not that long ago - pg again after a mc at5 weeks. By time of 12 week scan I was worn out through worry, and convinced something had gone wrong. I was at the hosp day before scan appt and was in such a mess they scanned me there and then! And there was a healthy baby - am now nearly 20 weeks and still a bit shocked and amazed by that first glimpse on the screen.

You are nearly there now - I am sure everything will be fine, but maybe let the staff know how nervous you are when you have the scan as their kind words and reassurance really helped me.

Wishing you all the best - very soon you will have a lovely baby to look at!

phoenixrose314 · 24/08/2012 10:54

Hi ladymia, I am feeling very much the same! My 12 week scan is not until the 4th September, and all I can think about is all the possible things that could be wrong. We've already told our family and closest friends, but with every person we tell I feel like we're tempting fate...

Having said that, I've heard everyone feels the same - especially people who come on here, because of course people who ARE facing the worst will come here for support etc, and people like us will see it and immediately start panicking!! So, like others have said, I think we'll both just have to keep ourselves busy as bees until the scan... and I'm sure everything will be fine.

Please do keep us updated :)

EarnestDullard · 24/08/2012 10:56

I was exactly the same, with both of my pregnancies (first of which is 2.5yo DD, second is due in Oct). I was terrified, and convinced that it was basically 50:50 whether it would be good news or bad. The relief when you see that little heartbeat flickering is like nothing else :) I think it's very normal to be anxious, but chances are everything will be fine. Can you do something nice this weekend, or at least keep yourself busy, to pass the time?

Original poster
ladymia · 24/08/2012 11:13

eagleray - I am pretty sure i will have the same reaction! Shocked and amazed. I think if I had not had the loss I would not be so worried. Or who knows i probably would.

phoenixrose314 - That's a very long time to go. Good luck the wait is just horrible. I know what you mean about feeling like you jinx it by telling people. I have told a few people but have kept it to a minimum.

EarnestDullard - It does make me feel better that someone with a 2.5yo once felt like this! :)

BonaDea - I feel like a fraud too! Did your symptoms ever start?

Thanks everyone :)

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gardenpixies32 · 24/08/2012 11:19

It is completely normal to feel this worry. I hardly slept in the days leading up to my 12 week scan and was convinced something would be wrong. My DP was the same, he even suggested I take another pregnancy test the night before the scan because "he didn't want us to look like fools" at the scan when they said I wasn't pregnant!

I am now almost 30 weeks with twins!

Congratulations and enjoy your scan :)

sundaesundae · 24/08/2012 11:34

My scan is next Wednesday and I am totally panicking about MMC, blighted ovums, nothing being there at all... I am told this is perfectly normal, but i think the only thing that will help will be seeing something in there.

My midwife booking appointment was supposed to be today, but she cancelled so I will be turning up and not actually have seen anyone!

cjbk1 · 24/08/2012 11:41

ladymia that's what happened to me-all pg symptoms even a bump, no bleeding or anything coming out, but "there's no heartbeat, it died around eight weeks" will never get over that Sad

MediumOrchid · 24/08/2012 11:53

I had hardly any symptoms either, but felt really sick with fear the morning of my 12 week scan! I was so worried that there would be nothing there and I had imagined the whole thing, or that I would have had a missed miscarriage. But there was an actual baby there, with a heartbeat and waving arms and legs! Try to remember that the chances of having a missed miscarriage are really very low - it does happen, of course, but really not that often. The vast majority of 12 week scans show a healthy baby.

Original poster
ladymia · 24/08/2012 12:06

cjbk1 i am sorry for your loss i had a hard enough time coping with the first time around. this will absolutely destroy me which is why i am so worried about it.

thanks everyone, these stories actually do make me feel a lot better as I know there is always a chance of it happening it makes me feel I am not being stupid for feeling this way.

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chocoluvva · 24/08/2012 14:04

That's a very understandable (though VERY probably needless) fear! My friend had morning sickness till around eight weeks. She put it stopping down to her being on holiday - different routine, no stress, lots of time to sleep etc. Sadly her twelve-week scan showed that the baby had died at about the time her morning sickness had stopped. You'll know why I'm telling you this story I'm sure....
I put my absence of symptoms due to a deep-seated worry (stemming from my own mum once remarking that I should "try to be more feminine") down to being skinny and not 'womanly' enough to sustain a healthy pregnancy. (I've never told anyone that before!). Obviously, this theory was a right load of old rubbish.

Chefette · 24/08/2012 14:22

ladymia and others, nip over to the march 2013 ante-natal support thread (think they are on thread number 3 with nausea in the title. Some have heaps of symptoms, some have none) and won't be long till someone starts a new one as they are on over 930 posts), they are a very chatty and supportive bunch, and would be welcoming to anyone new. You may of course lurk over there already, or on Feb's thread. Anyway, stay calm, do things you enjoy, you can't really change or control what's happening, which can be frightening perhaps, or is maybe where the anxiety comes in, just breathe and chill and hangout on MNet, stay away from Dr Google tho, wont be long now so good luck Smile

sundaesundae · 24/08/2012 15:50

As Chefette says, we are a very chatty and lovely bunch so please do come and join in!

Original poster
ladymia · 24/08/2012 16:13

thanks everyone. i am going to just try and put it out my mind this weekend and hope for the best. i will come report back! :)

oh and will check out the march 2013 ante-natal support thread, if i can find it Hmm

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JoJoCK · 24/08/2012 16:29

I was so nervous about the 12 week scan the sonographer told me she couldn't get a good view as my stomach was so tense. I didn't actually understand what she said because the nerves seemed to have affected my hearing also! I also had a previous early miscarriage but all is well and I'm 18 weeks.

cjbk1 · 24/08/2012 16:40

cheers ladymia x

Emus · 25/08/2012 06:31

Can't read and run! Ladymia I know exactly how you feel as I too have my 12 week scan next week (1st pregnancy) and my symptoms have been a bit inconsistent.

My biggest fear is also mmc, I'm petrified as my symptoms have been coming and going and aren't that strong. I guess it's difficult when it's your first as you've no idea how it's supposed to feel to be pregnant so I've been comparing myself to friends and people on here which is why I'm worried as I don't have half the 'normal' symptoms that the majority have!

I guess what will be will be but it's the not knowing and waiting around that I'm finding difficult to cope with. Wish I had paid for an early scan!

Hope everything is ok for you next week Smile x

philbee · 25/08/2012 07:22

Hi all. I am way off my scan, not until end Sep, so don't know about nerves yet. But I wanted to say two things.

The symptoms thing is a total red herring. I was just tired with DD, and she's now 4 Grin. When I was pg last year I was pretty nauseous and uncomfortable and at 12 wks discovered it was a blighted ovum and hasn't developed beyond a few days at most. So no correlation, please don't worry.

Secondly, in my pg last year I was a massive mess of anxiety all the way through, convinced the baby would have huge health problems, that I would have an mc or stillbirth etc. I was constantly trying to 'prepare myself for the worst'. This time I am actually much calmer so far. I think it's because I've realised that a) there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent an mc at this stage so there's no point obsessing over it, and b) there is no way to prepare yourself, it will be as devastating if you find out bad news and have been constantly worrying about it for 12 wks as it will be if you haven't (I think most people are aware of the possibility, probably good to have that).

I do have worries about it (and am a constant knicker checker Grin) but when they come I try to just let them go and concentrate on now. I still can't believe I'm pg really, it's been over a year of trying this time, but if it happens again we will deal with it then. For now we are all pg, aren't we? Good luck with your scans everyone!

eggandbean · 25/08/2012 10:46

Plenty of great advice already here but just thought I'd add that I had my 12 week scan a few weeks ago (my 1st pregnancy) and was absolutely petrified too, hardly slept for the few nights before it and was so convinced I would have had a mmc, but everything was absolutely fine, within about 20 secs of stepping through the door I heard the words "right, well I can see your baby, oh yes and there's the heartbeat" and it was the lovliest sentence I've ever heard in my life.

Good luck everyone with upcoming scans and it's obviously not that easy to do but TRY not to worry. You can't affect it either way and we all prepare ourselves for the worst but hopefully it won't come to that.

Original poster
ladymia · 25/08/2012 11:58

Thanks so much everyone. I was really at a low when i wrote this post and I am really feeling so much better about this now.

4 more sleeps! And woke up this morning to txt from the NHS reminding me of my scan so I'm getting excited!

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chocoluvva · 25/08/2012 14:51

Oh that's lovely, ladymia :)

Original poster
ladymia · 30/08/2012 09:12

just want to thank everyone again, i had my scan yesterday and there was an actual baby!! i was so relieved and i am so happy.

best feeling in the world :)

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chocoluvva · 30/08/2012 09:54

Hurrah! Hope you enjoy the next trimester :)

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