dh only having one week paternity leave..c-section & a toddler

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Just as the title says really, baby is going to be born by section in January with dd it took me a good few weeks to be able to get moving properly my mum said she may be able to take a week but it wouldn't be till end Jan when her holiday renews.

How am i going to work this then? dd will need to go to pre school it is walking distance but how likely is it i will be able to take baby and dd one week after a section?

I am actually really worried about it all, with dd we were lucky enough that we could afford the full 2 week paternity plus 2 weeks holiday tagged on the end...

Do any of the other parents at pre-school live near you? You could try asking them for help. I was in a similar situation to you when dd2 was born (10 years ago) If necessary could you keep her off pre-school for a couple of weeks until you are more mobile?

I would have thought you'd be fine to cope a week later - with my first two I was on my feet the day after surgery and 4 days later out and about pushing double buggy. Was a bit longer recovery with third (but had to have bowel repair too) and still managed with 2 21 month old toddlers and newborn. You'll probably find you'll just get on with it cause you have too ;-)

I think you need to try to plan for the worst and hope for the best. I was back in hospital a week after my section with an infection, a friend was grocery shopping two days after hers. You just have no idea how you'll be. Can you rope in friends to take it in turns to be on standby? Extend your older child's nursery hours for a week or so and have DH do drop off and pick up? Get a temporary mothers help in?

She doesn't start going till September and we have just moved to the area so we know literally noone just yet, hopefully i will get to meet some nice people.

I tend to just get on with it, had an awful pregnancy so far but still working a 50 hour week, am a childminder so have two kids under 3 all day every day.

I really want dd to go to pre school when baby is here to keep the normality for her. Was also secretly looking forward to snooze with tiny baby snuggles (totally selfish)

We will have to see what happens. i am a bit of a wimp lol..

Mine was an emergency section so a bit slash and burn but wasn't very mobile for about 4 weeks. I did the 15 minute nursery run at about 41/2 weeks - very slowly!

I am worried about it, the pre school is on the street behind us, dh will take his weeks leave from the day i have the section so 3 days will be in hospital then i will have him home for 4 days and i will have to take over...

Really no idea how it will work

I think another parent from pre-school is your best bet. Once she is settled in you can ask around/put a note up. I know I would help if asked, so would many others. Hope rest of your pregnancy goes well.

You might be ok to walk a short distance by 1 week +. But you shouldn't have to.

Why is DH not taking his 2 weeks pat leave? It Could take you up to nearly the end of Jan when your Mum can help.

Fingers crossed for an overdue baby!

Can DH work half days (i.e. take 3 half days of hols) while you are in hospital and while DD is in pre-school, and then start his paternity leave from the day you come home?

Can he put a week's annual leave on the end of the paternity leave?

It does feel awful to you now but if the c-section and your recovery is straightforward, it should be fine, honest Just take it easy and use the next few months to make fallback plans in case you need them. Worst case, your dd misses a day or two of pre-school if you're not up to the walk, and that wouldn't be the end of the world. I feel for you (DH won't get Paternity Leave and I'll have to do the school run three times a day after mil goes home a week or so after my c-section) but there's nothing to do but think positive (recovery isn't always slow) and be prepared for the worst just in case. From what I remember of recovery after my last two c-sections, I was slow a week afterwards but not bedbound, and after two weeks I was definitely on the approach to 'normal'!

The main thing to avoid is lifting, so can you make arrangements for practical things eg:

Toddler is in a bed they can get in and out of, ditto buggy.

Get step stools etc

Make sure they can eat at the table rather
than in a highchair.

Teach toddler to go up and down stairs.

Have upstairs and downstairs nappies etc.

Some great advice here thank you. I think i will defiantly try and find a willing parent that maybe walks past or on my road who could maybe take dd for me, i could pay them in baby snuggles and chocolate!

Dh can only take a week off as we cannot afford any more than that, he has also only a couple of days holiday left till the 1st Feb next year.

I keep reading that elective is a lot easier to get through recovery wise than emergency so i am fingers crossed on that.

I don't have any experience of C sections so can't offer any words of wisdom on the practical side - however just wanted to say that you might want to look into taking arnica to help speed your recovery...my mum took it when she had a hysterectomy and the nurses said they'd never seen anyone heal so quickly. Not sure if you can take it in advance while you're still pregnant - you might need to wait till immediately afterwards.

Ask your childminding department. If you can afford a pound or two there may be a child minder going that way. also your health visitor may know someone. There's a mums mafia in most areas. Start going to mother and toddler groups now so you can get to know others.

When I had my 2nd section I had a 16mo who'd barely learnt to walk.

What helped me was,

A child size table and chair for him to eat at,
Teaching him to climb up and down stairs safely with me there to catch him should he slip.
Teaching him to get in the pushchair.
Taking arnica really helped.

My second csec was planned and imo it is very different, dd was born at mid-day friday I was home by sunday lunch, and fit and able to do anything but lifting/streching by tuesday/wednesday arnica and keeping on time with pain killers helps so much!

mirry i did think of finding a cm local, however upon looking i am the only childminder in walking distance to this preschool

I will look into arnica, i think i have heard of it before to help with healing, is it rank??

DD will be 2.9 and is actually really advanced for her age so shes not so much of a problem except from needing constant stimulation to avoid her going wild, i am hoping pre school will sort that problem tho!