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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How are you preparing your children for a new baby?

12 replies

TitsalinaBumSquash · 21/08/2012 16:34

I'm due DS3 in a couple of months.

I have DSs 5 & 7.
I have shown them scan photos/videos and we always answer questions honestly about their new brother.
DS1 hasn't really said much at all, however DS2 has said to Mil that he doesn't want a new brother and he doesn't want to be a big brother.
What else can I do to prepare them? Any tips would be much appreciated. :)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 21/08/2012 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zoeymlucas · 21/08/2012 17:21

We got a present for DS1 from the baby and had it had the hospital ready for when he visited so coulf hive it from baby.
I also found he was worried about not being loved as much etc as had been the only child for 7 years so got 2 dinner plates that were exactly the same and explained one was the love i had for him and the other was the love for the baby - they were exactly the same and the love (plate) for him didnt get any smaller because a was having another baby

WantAnOrange · 21/08/2012 20:19

DS is 6. He was the first person we told because we felt he was the most important one to tell . For a few days it was just us and him that new about it. he liked being 'in' on the suprise.

He did ask if we would stop loving him a couple times and we explained that babies bring new love with them, and their families hearts grow an extra size to make room for them!

He has also asked who will look after him when I'm looking after the baby. He is a very logical thinker so I went a few example of literally how we are going to manage it. We reasured him lots that he will always be loved and looked after.

I don't know if we are doing the right things but hope so. He's been an only child for 6 years so it's going to be a big adjustment.

strugglingwiththepreteenbit · 21/08/2012 21:39

we'd always told ours we were done. While they are familiar with the mechanics of reproduction the idea of recreational sex and getting pregnant by accident has proved to be a bit of a mind-fuck for them.
They want to be in on shopping, name choices etc, but they do want a lot of reassurance that they are loved and always will be.

Badgerina · 21/08/2012 21:41

I've spent time with DS1 (7) looking through his baby photos and telling him funny stories about what he was like when he was tiny. It's been really lovely actually. He's developed a really loving and positive attitude about babies and the "crazy" stuff they get up to (peeing on dad's head, pooing in the bath, squashing avocado over their faces).

He was the first person we told after the 12 weeks scan, and we showed him his scan photos too, and I told him all about the day I went to see him in my tummy for the first time.

This summer holiday we've been spending loads of time on his self-confidence and helping him to achieve special ambitions that have really boosted his confidence and helped him to feel like a big brother: he has learnt to swim, has swam several lengths of the local pool including the DEEP END (!), he has been to the corner shop by himself to buy sweets, he has learnt how to cook 2 simple lunches for himself and us.

He likes to talk and "play" with his little brother in my tummy and loves getting in bed in the morning with me and saying good morning to him.

The other thing that I think has been important for DS1 is that he has had the chance to talk about his worries - he has told me he is worried that I won't have time for him, when Spike arrives; and he has said that he will feel jealous when Spike gets to breastfeed (DS1 only weaned when he was 4 and can still remember breastfeeding). We've had discussions about his worries. They surface again and again, so he's obviously processing it all, but each time he seems a little more reassured.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 21/08/2012 21:52

Well, this morning we did a belly cast and that was fun for everyone (DC are: DS, 5, and DD, 2.5, and I'm due with DD2 in 4 or 5 weeksish).

In no particular order we've also done: Lots of reading of books about new siblings/hospital tour designed for siblings/lots of pointing out of new babies that we see out and about - especially ones in slings/breastfeeding as that's likely to be our baby .

I've also been carving out some one on one time with each of them, to do special things - milkshake with DS and just me, extra long special story time with DD and just me. And lots and lots and lots of telling them how much I love them, showing them their new baby pictures, talking about 'our baby'. And encouraging them to tell me how they feel about the new baby without obviously leading the witness

And for DS (might be a bit much for some people, but we're pretty matter of fact about body parts, etc in our family) I've been showing him pictures of babies being born, and explaining how babies are made (with no references to storks....) and how they come out. He's very curious and has been really interested in everything I've shown him and asked lots of relevant questions. I get this last part isn't for everyone but it works in our family!

Best of luck to you, OP!

milk · 22/08/2012 06:38

DS1 is 17 months.

We have bought a doll, and every day we take it out and tell DS to only stroke the doll and be very gentle.

We have also bought him loads of presents "from the baby" that we will give him once the baby is born (in 6 weeks).

Everyone asks if I am scared of the labour, but honestly even with my heart problems I am more scared of how this second child will affect DS1 :(

WeeLors · 22/08/2012 13:56

I'm the same milk, less worried about actually giving birth again than how DS (2.6) is going to react to it. I keep trying to talk to him about the baby in mummy's belly but he's not that interested (playing with cars and tractors is much more fun than talking about babies) so think he's going to get a shock come October. We're going to get him a present from the baby and give him it in the hospital and think he'll be fine as long as he can get a cuddle from me straight away. He's a fairly laid back sort so hope he'll be the same about suddenly having a new baby brother

Kirsty240287 · 22/08/2012 14:05

Another scared one here 2! DD is 4, 5 in Feb and I'm due 24th Jan. She seems excited but I'm worried she'll try and pick baby up or push the moses basket over (she torments our 2 cats so I'm worried she'll pick on the baby in the same way) Is there anyway of stopping her do this? Also when you say you've bought presents, what type of things have you got? Would it be better to give in hospital or leave it in the moses basket/cot at home and let her find it?

Kirsty240287 · 22/08/2012 14:06

Sorry OP didn't mean to hijack your thread!

SilverSixpence · 22/08/2012 14:40

DS is 4, we've tried to involve him as much as possible, he calls it 'his baby' now . We also show him scan pictures and tell him what the baby is doing e.g. if it is kicking etc. It helps that my sister has just had a baby and stayed with us for a week when her ds was newborn so he is getting used to babies.

milk · 22/08/2012 15:03

Kirsty240287 I think my DS will also try and poke the new baby. I'm thinking to either put the Moses basket on a high table so DS can't reach or put the new baby in a travel cot with high walls so DS can't get in.

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