I've been working at my job as a barmaid for a big pub-chain for around 6 weeks. I was really excited to be starting work again after feeling trapped at home as a single mum to a 4 year old (I love my DD but needed to work for mental sanity).
Recently got back with ex who has been recently made redundant so this was my opportunity to have him be DD's main carer while I work. I LOVE my job and am really good at it.
The problem is the requirement is for you to be flexible - I get completely random shifts each week, sometimes I'll be leaving just as DD is having dinner, sometimes when DH is trying to put her to bed etc. I ultimately feel I am losing control of life at home, DD does no longer have a stable bed time/dinner routine as I feel DH just doesn't do a good enough job, well, he doesn't do things how i would. Although he is a lovely father to her.
I also have issues with his standards of cleanliness around the home and it causes me a lot of stress to basically come home to a pig sty.
The biggest issue though, is the late shifts. I am exhausted - often required to work til past midnight (I am one of those people that needs my sleep) and DD wakes up early and I find I spend all day in bed trying and failing to sleep before my shift later that day/evening. I spoke to manager and he said after next week he will change my pattern so I don't have to work past 10pm in the week - HOWEVER will still be required to work every Saturday til 5am (we dont get any saturdays off at all). this basically means I will spend every Sunday in bed all day.
To top it all off have just found out I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Hormones/exhaustion/unhappy home life are causing huge rows between me and partner - I am either nagging him about the state of the house/ in bed/ or whining about needing to sleep and how sad I am that I feel I'm losing control over home life.
I was all ready for my shift today, dressed in work clothes and about to leave - another row started, I ended up in tears and before I knew it work were ringing at 6.30pm - half hour after I was supposed to have started asking why I wasn't there - I was still in tears and all I said was 'somethings going on at home I will explain tomorrow".....how awful is that? I have no excuse for not at least phoning in, am mortified. I should have gone in but I just crawled into bed completely knackered. I will get a bollocking tomorrow I'm sure, don't know what I can possibly say to excuse it.
My partner made a few comments basically implying that I'm being pathetic and should just deal with it. I love the job when I'm there but home life is suffering.
BUT - I need some second opinions, is partner right - do I have 'mental problems', am I being pathetic? Or am I right to consider handing in my notice and looking for something else. Is this a ridiculous idea considering I'm pregnant. What can I say about not phoning in when I go to work tomorrow?