Just got bfp 2nd baby - scared

[RacheyBachey]

Hi

Found out last weekend that I'm pregnant. DS has just turned 6 and was conceived with fertility treatment. We thought try for another as felt guilty about DS not having siblings, now know this was wrong. Deep down we didn't think we would conceive as we've been trying this time for 2 years but surprisingly we got pregnant.

Neither me or DH were prepared for this but thought we'd be happy but we couldn't have been more wrong. We are both devasted and scared as we didn't cope very well first time. We are both getting on a bit so this brings extra worries and I just can't seem to cope with the idea. We are so happy at the moment and scared this will change everything.

I don't know what I expect anyone to say just really worried and I need to try to come to terms with it :(

Appreciate any advice from anyone that's felt this way.

Rach

I don't really know what to say other than in sorry that you feel this way. Don't you think that this feeling may pass in time? As soon as you start having your appointments, buying things and getting everything ready it might start bringing everything back to you.....how nice it is to be carrying a baby and extending your family further

With regards to your age, don't let that bother you too much. Lots of couples are starting families much later in life nowadays. As long as you are in good health?

Have you told your DC about the sibling on the way?

Hi rachey

Panic is a perfectly natural response to finding out you are pregnant IME. I certainly felt this with dd2 strongly, despite her being much wanted. It's a sign that you love dc1. Don't forget all the hormones pregnancy brings too.

I felt pretty dumbstruck for a couple of weeks when we found out about dd2. I'm
now 40 weeks and can't wait to meet her.

I hope this helps. It's nothing like the movies, the whole pregnancy thing is much less whooping etc and much more 'woah, this is real'!

I hope you start to feel better soon.

I felt really ambivalent when I found out I was pg with DC2. Now 12 weeks and I've come around to the idea :) and am looking forward to enlarging our family.

I think you should try to access some urgent counselling to help you process your feelings and come to a decision about this pregnancy. There is usually a midwife counsellor available at most hospitals; alternatively somewhere like BPAS. You might also consider going to relate with your DH if he is feeling as upset and uncertain as you.

Good luck and best wishes x

Panic and dread are normal. Rotten, but normal although I didn't believe anyone who said it at the time and I wanted to punch in the face anyone who mentioned hormones.
We'd been trying for over a year before ours happened. We live in a lovely house, good jobs, been married ten years, in catchment for good schools and still when I found out I had a good four weeks of 'OMG what have we done? I can't go through with this. What shall I do?'

Thank you so much for all of your messages, it means a lot to know there are people out there that can give you some advice and reassurance.

DC doesn't know yet but I know he loves babies! I'm trying to be positive instead of negative but my feelings change on an hourly basis! I feel more like Cruella De Ville than Mary Poppins!

We are ready in many ways but not in my head. Feel immense responsibility and panic and worry about everything.

Thanks again and I will try and give myself a kick up the a.... :)