37, five miscarriages, 2 live births, yesterday after seeing heartbeat twice - Do I try again

[MegMum25]

Im 37 with a 3 yr old and 22 month old daughters. Prior
To my first baby I had 5 miscarriages all first trimester and was found (eventually after much digging, perseverance and cost) to have elevated killer cells. With my first daughter I took prednisone and progesterone and carried to term. Dream come true. I then had an early miscarriage at 6 weeks between her an her sister, with whom I added intralipid infusions to the mix. Had her by emergency c section at 37 weeks in
2010. We thought we'd try again and I got
Pregnant first go in early June. I had two early scans both with heartbeat and correct measurements and was on the usual drugs (except intralipid as
My nk cell activity had calmed right down ) and loads of symptoms even a bump. At my 9
Week scan on weds baby was measuring 8w5d and
Nothing. I've had previous missed m/cs but not after two earlier positive scans. Erpc yesterday. I'm totally devastated with that
Post miscarriage hormonal Obsession with trying again and I am so amazed at the number of
People who have basically told
Me to stop now and count my blessings. It only happens yesterday. I'm baffled as this is not my pregnant loss
Norm and I wonder am I getting too
Old. Need to get a grip as am a grieving, Steroid and hormonally charged mess and need some
Words of wisdom
X

So very sorry. What a horrible thing to happen. :(

Words are useless at times like these, but take care of yourself and give yourself the time you need to choose what to do next.

Only you can decide what's best for your family circumstances.

Personally I have had one mc and am now 5 weeks pg again. I have already mentally decided that if this pg is successful I won't have any more children - I already have DS and for me, two children will be enough and I would hate to go through the pain of mc again. But it's a very personal decision to have to make. I do think though we have a responsibility to our children to be as strong for them as we can, and for me I know that means not putting myself in a position where I could be very upset and emotional if I don't have to. But you have to weigh up whether it will be worse to have the sadness of possible future mc, or to not try at all. Very sorry to hear your situation, it must be so hard.

I have very similar stats and circumstances to you, due to a clotting disorder. Had a couple more MC's and also a EP. Also lost a baby after seeing a heartbeat and being told it probably will be ok. Turned out there were chrominsonal issues which at least was an explanation. So here I am on my 9th or 10th pregnancy with DC2 at the grand old age of 41. Yes it's taken a while and a lot of heartache but for me, good things are worth sticking at. I know it feels so unfair and hideous at times but you know you can have children so try and hang in there if another is important to you. I had decided to stop trying after this one, and here I am at 30 weeks. Hang in there, you will know when it's time to stop, but do this because it's what you and DP want, not what other people think.

Hi megmum, i am really to sorry to hear about the awful time you are having.
There is a thread in conception with lots of ladies who are on prednisolone following multiple miscarriages (including me). It is very, very friendly and supportive. Unfortunately there are others like you who have had a loss whilst on treatment but many of these have gone on to have sucess afterwards. It is called 'pregnancy on prednisolone' but don't be put off as there are lots of people on there at the ttc stage too.
x

That sounds ghastly. Are you under Gorgy for intralipids? In your shoes I'd consider a slightly different approach and be monitored by ARGC, and see does their cocktail of dexamethasone and iVIG make a difference.

I am so sorry, you really have had a truly awful time. As others have said only you can decide what is right for you.

I totally understand that desperation to get pregnant again. I would just keep an eye on that feeling. Oddly enough it may fade a bit as time passes. Hormones are incredibly powerful and the march of time adds to that (I'm also 37). Yes you are fortunate to have two daughters but miscarriage is horrible under any circumstances. I suppose it will come down to whether the risk of another mc is bearable to you? There is something liberating about saying 'that's it, no more'. Of course you have to be at peace with it.

Thank you so much dd1 and Dd2 helped so
Much yesterday, I am so lucky to
Have them. Cannot sleep at all so am affected but trying to just crack
On with it. Your comforting words mean a
Lot xx