First time pregnancy issues!

[glossyflower]

Hi everyone!
I'm new here, this is my first post.
I found out I am 5 weeks pregnant which wasn't planned and although quite apprehensive we are happy. In fact I still can't get over the fact I am pregnant, it doesn't feel real and still in shock lol.
My symptoms are sore breasts, cramping feeling like I'm having a period, bloating, nausea and aversion to certain foods.
My issues are I'm a nurse and it's very physically heavy work a lot of the time. It's ok though because if there's anything heavy to move I tell people I have a bad back. However usually when moving a patient and you are not the one moving them then you are the one helping them with their hygiene needs. This isn't easy when the smell of poo and having to clean it makes me feel like I want to be sick. So I have been making excuses to not do this too but am worried people think I am slacking!
My other main issue is I'm getting married in 2 weeks time. At my dress fitting just yesterday I found that its really much tighter now! I'm only 5 weeks but have bloating, in another two weeks this will be bigger!
I don't mind telling people now I'm pregnant as most people realise it is early days and anything can happen. Also I hate secrets! My other half however wants to wait til the scan.
What are your thoughts?

Hi glossyflower,

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Glad it has come as a good surprise.

I'm 14 weeks now with my first baby and I can totally empathize with all the horrid symptoms you are having and I imagine the time is really dragging! I'm feeling quite a bit better now so I know everyone says it, but you should find too that in another 6 weeks you'll be feeling much stronger- especially once you've had the scan, which really brings it home how worth it it all is! :)

When we found out we were pregnant, we felt like all the books were telling us we really should wait till 12 weeks before telling anyone, but it just wasn't possible for us and we had to tell family members, for quite a random reason... my boyfriends's mum had booked a spa day for me, her and boyfriend's sister the following week as a birthday treat and had me booked in for a massage the following I phoned the spa and they said I could no longer have the massage due to the pregnancy and had to change it to a pedicure. I knew there was no way the boyfriend's mum wouldn't cotton on to my treatment change when we got there so we had to come clean at just 5 weeks pregnant! And of course it wasn't fair for his family to know and not mine, so we told mine as well!

I came clean at work too as I wanted them to be understanding about me struggling and having to work from home some days when I was particularly exhausted. It sounds to me like this would help you hugely if you could tell your work, and I would go for it. You need to do as much as you can to reduce your stress levels and having the understanding of your colleagues will mean a lot.

We were worried about the scan going badly, as is everyone I guess, but to be honest by that point we both couldn't have given a stuff who knew and who didn't, all we cared about was our baby. If anything had've been wrong, as you say, people would have been understanding and I'm sure they would have given us our space. As it was, the baby was in there doing fine!

About your wedding dress... I can't say for sure it will be the same for you, but I had massive bloating early on as well and it did actually stay about the same level for ages, rather than getting any bigger- I only got even bigger again at about 12 weeks. I was eating like a pig and doing no exercise as well, so I reckon if you eat sensibly and do a bit of exercise over the next couple of weeks to be on the safe side, your dress should definitely fit fine.

Hope this all helps! My instinct would be to tell people anyway, make your life a bit easier. x

Hi Aimeelou28 - I am 14 weeks pregnant too.
The scan wasnt a particularly nice experience for me as the nurse didnt show me the screen for about 20 minutes of the 25 min scan. She was quite rude and it wasnt how I thought it would be. I am struggling to be excited about having a baby as it wasnt planned - but also there is so much to worry about. I met up with a friend with a 5 year old who spoke for 2 hours about negatives of motherhood - didnt help.
I feel more nauseas now than I did in the early weeks and I don't have any support network - except my partner as I left all my friends behind in Birmingham a while ago. Feeling a tad down about it all.
Was thinking about reading a book to get me excited - any ideas?
Ps - good luck to both of you :-) x x x x

First of all congrats!!!!

I'm 12 weeks, and told people from the outset on a need to know basis. Given the nature of your job I think I would tell them. I imagine it would be hard to keep secret from your colleagues anyway - they'll spot the obvious things straight away!

As for the dress, your size won't change much, and if anything you will get a bit smaller before you get a bump proper. The bloat does reduce a bit. At least mine has. I was much bigger at 8 weeks than I am now.

1st baby check out the thread with this title ..."Worried about becoming a mum!"..... lots of great positive stories about being a mum so should help you get excited about your little one. I would complain about that sonographer totally unacceptable behaviour.

glossy congrats on the pregnancy. We told close friends and family "early" because we wanted to and we were excited.....each to their own really. Hope you have a great wedding day and try and ease up on the carbs to avoid bloating.

Hi 1st babyat 30!
Sorry to hear you?re having a bit of a tough time- try not to worry- I think it?s mainly all those nightmare hormones that have a LOT to answer for to be honest. Not to mention all the things you hear before you get pregnant, all the images in newspapers of pregnant celebrities and the like who all seem to be beautiful, blooming and walking around with huge smiles on their faces all day long, when it just isn?t like that in reality for us mere mortals is it sadly! Very disappointing!
It?s such a shame your scan was like that... it doesn?t sound right to me. The consolation of course is that the baby was healthy, which is the main thing! If I were you though, next time at the 20 week scan, if it looks like it?s going to be similarly frustrating I would pipe up and request they show you the baby sooner and take the time to talk you through everything you can see in the image. If they were to refuse that... I?d kick off afterwards and inform the hospital you?re not happy and say the way they are treating you at the scans is making it difficult for you to bond with your baby and understand your pregnancy... say that you want another scan to go through everything in detail and put your mind at rest- emphasize how it?s making you very upset, they won?t want you getting antenatal depression.
I know how you feel not having a support network, my family all live 5 hours drive away and all my friends are scattered around the country. You?ll be ok, just stay strong, keep your partner close and remember when the baby comes there?ll be loads of chance to make new friends at mother and baby groups, baby massage, playgroup and all those other things you could get involved in!! I?m hoping that will be the case for me....
Stay away from people who moan about motherhood or just shut your ears! Remember this is your child, your experience, your time to be a mum and do it your way and make the most of it.  It?s bound to be tough at times but everyone loves a moan even when things aren?t half as bad in reality. There are so many good things to look forward to aren?t there- all the cuddles, the baby smell, the baby smiling at you, its first wobbly steps into your arms, reading a book together curled up in pyjamas on a winter?s night, splashing in the bath having a giggle together! I don?t know about a book but I know watching repeats of One Born every Minute, although scary, makes me all excited about when the baby?s placed in my arms after all the hard work!
xxx

Congrats glossyflower.

We told all and sundry with our first pregnancy but I had a miscarriage so this time were a bit more selective (parents; siblings after our 8 week scan, a couple of close friends and then everyone else after 12 week scan). I would definietly tell your work though, you might find a situation where you can't get out of lifting & carrying otherwise and you don't want to feel pressured into doing it and putting baby (or yourself) at risk.

Like you, I got bloated (and bigger boobs) immediately, but nothing much changed after that for weeks and weeks so try not to worry about your wedding dress too much - and have a fabulous day!

You don't need to worry about having to move people/things - lifting things really isn't an issue when you're early-days pregnant (there's no strain on your back yet) so you should carry on as normal and stay as fit as you can.

I've always followed a policy of telling anyone in the early days who I would tell if I then had a miscarriage or there turned out to be anything wrong with the pregnancy - so a few close friends but not necessarily family.

There's a DK book that takes you through your pregnancy day by day which is great and on Amazon.

Congrats to everyone. I'm 10 weeks now and not told anyone other than personal trainer. Am going to tell parents Friday, subject to a good first mid wife appointment.

We had a 5-6 week scan and there was a strong heartbeat but there's been bleeding since so I'm still not sure how excited I should get. The unremittance of symptoms - bloating, exhaustion, headaches, sore boobs is oddly reassuring though.

I say tell people when it feels right to you. I'm high risk for mc so want to wait but im looking forward to being able to blab!

Hi glossy and congratulations!

I have a friend who is a nurse and she's said to me that she would have to tell her work as soon as she knew she was pregnant, because there are some infections/chemicals she comes into contact with which could be harmful in pregnancy, so she'd need to ask to be excused those duties. Does that apply to you? If so, I would definitely tell your work.

I wouldn't tell lots of people though, just those who need to know ie your boss. I did tell family too but I would have told them about any miscarriage etc anyway.

Hello Glossy With regards to moving and handling, pregnancy makes it easier for you to injure yourself due to your ligaments becoming 'floppy' (midwives words not mine!). I had no problems in early pregnancy, just stuck to the old trick of not doing anything that I could get someone else to do without it looking suspicious!

I'm a nurse and I have struggled from 25 weeks onward and developed some joint pain- definitely no 12hr shifts for me now! Just try and be vigilant and talk to your midwife as soon as you experience any back pain or joint problems.

It's a really good idea to tell the manager ASAP cos then she can take measures to ensure you aren't around x-rays or harmful chemicals as well as doing a M&H assessment on you, but save telling your other colleagues until it feels right!

1stBabyat30 i'm sorry your scan wasn't a very nice experience, hopefully you'll get a nicer lady next time

Congratulations glossy!

I teach children with autism, learning difficulties and 'complex needs' which essentially means some need physically restraining in extreme circumstances (though sometimes this is everyday) as well as very hands on physio therapies including trampoline (rebound) therapy. Was in same predicament and told immediate team ASAP just in case and used the back story for trampolining (though my back was bad early on!) Told boss at 7 wks but glad I did as slapped cheek (parvovirus) came to school 2 weeks later (it turned out I was not immune too). Don't know about your specific workplace but a risk assessment should be done when you tell your boss incase there are any particular issues eg medically, cleaning liquids etc, vibrations, certain equipment. It's really hard, I hated telling people at work before close mates but it can be a wise thing. Perhaps speak to either a close friend/colleague initially or go to your line manager for a quiet word. You can emphasise its early days but explain your current main symptoms. A few of my class of 7-10 year olds have toileting issues so I get that one but have to say it didn't make me too sick plus I felt I had to pull my weight in other areas (eg poo), if I wasn't getting all the kicks and bites, as my team wouldn't let me near certain children at certain times.

Regarding risk assessment, I'm still waiting at 25 weeks, they've been very naughty on that score as schools can be a law unto themselves but then I was in quarantine cos of the virus for 12 weeks

All the best! Xx

Oh, my bottom expanded at a rate of knots before belly for ages just to warn you on the wedding score - extra 2 inches by 9 weeks. congratulations though, come the actual day you will be so exited you won't care what you look like or are wearing! Enjoy every minute of it! X

Thank you everybody!
I have told my managers at work, but they haven't mentioned an assessment yet. I've also told a couple of close friends at work too, so that helps.
I only have 4 more shifts then have 3 weeks off, so that will help.
As for the wedding, at the moment I am more excited about having a baby than the wedding now, if I look a bit squashed in my tight dress then so be it!
I will try and cut down the carbs as my bloating at the moment is horrendous, so that will help.

1stbabyat30 - I have a brilliant book called What To Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff which has really helped me.
I'm sure you will feel better as time goes on, and you can always talk to us on here xxx

Hiya peeps. i'v taken a pregnancy test a home and it came up on dark line and a very faded line next t it. I went straight to the doctors and they told me to go back wednesday as i did they said the can see a faded line next to the faded line. so i have to go back on monday. i am bloated now and i was ment to be on my monthly on monday the 13th on august but still not on? is it because i am far to early to tell? please help thank you x

I always thought that any line whether faded or more prominently dark this was a positive.
This is because it picks up the hormone hCG that you only get when you are pregnant. The earlier you are the lower the hormone, I read it doubles every day until it peaks much later.
Maybe repeat the test after a few days from the last one, you should see a darker line.
All the best!
xxx

Yes, you can't get a false positive but you can get a false negative.

i'v taken a clearblue test today and it says pregnant 2-3? so i take it i am after all x

Glossy -we got married when i was 8 weeks - had already told family (found out i was pregnant the day before my hen night so my sister had to be very adept at keeping my drinks non-alcoholic and swapping any that other people bought for me!).
We talked about it a lot and, even though it was still early days, my DP announced it to our friends and extended family in his speech at the wedding. It was a chance to take at 8 weeks, but it was so nice to be able to tell all our loved ones at the same time. Even though it was probably more psychological than anything else i relaxed more in my dress after everyone knew as i stopped caring if i looked slightly different to normal!
Am now 24 weeks :)

SarahCongratulations :)