Are we mad to be having DC3 at our age? Please help...

[woollywomble]

We already have 2DDs, aged 9 and 6. I would have liked 3, DH wasn't sure so we decided to stop at 2. Anyway, to cut a long story short, now find myself newly pregnant at the age of 41, with DH just having turned 52!!!! Have to say he is not your average 52 yr old and people are amazed to hear he is that old, but even so, he is and this will make him 70 by the time the baby is 18. I am just so worried that I don't know what to do and would appreciate some objective views as I don't feel I can talk to anyone in RL yet.

My main concern, other than our ages and the implications of this, is the age gap between the girls and the new baby. My eldest would be due to do her 11+ next Sep with a new baby in the house and I'm worried that I have upset the stability of our home for them and possibly affected their futures.

I know this sounds really trivial too, but I feel really embarrassed at having been caught out and worry at what to tell people, even my parents, who I'm sure will be horrified. I don't want DC3 to be known as an 'accident' even though I'm sure this will be obvious to everyone who knows us.

I feel really confused and anxious; when I first saw the BFP my initial and instinctive reaction was to be pleased but now reality is setting in. DH is supportive and says we'll muddle through, but would appreciate your perspectives on our situation.

Just want to add a message of support - you and your family sound just lovely! You seem very wise and are considering all the right things!

Your new baby will will be very lucky!!

Woolly, I plan to do exactly what you're doing.

I'm 33, pg with my DS2, DS1 is 2yo. If we decide to go for a third, we want to wait at least five years, which will make me 40 or older when we have DC3.

For us, it sounds like a good plan :)

This is all making me feel better, after someone told me I should get a wriggle on with TTC because I'm 30!

I actually showed DH all your messages last night and he was really touched that complete strangers would take the time to offer their experiences and support. Jules125 sorry to hear about DD1, must have been terrible, good luck with your new little one. Strugglingwithpreteenbit and Busyboysmum- it's nice to know I'm not alone! Tellybug - you're a mere whippersnapper ! Thanks again, just hope people in RL are as postive!

Don't be embarrassed, my parents had a surprise package, (and i found the pregnancy test!!) she's now 11. I'm the eldest, there's 18.5 years between me and and my little sis. Although she says it's like having 3 mums and one Dad we all get on really well.
Obviously she is a lot older for her age as she's been brought up in a grown up environment more, but it's great she's a fab auntie to my little boy and she's so excited about the next one when he/she arrives in march!
Good luck and enjoy the experience your children are going to love helping mummy out.

Slightly different situation here, but my two pennorth. My husband married his first wife very young, and they had 2 daughters very quickly, divorced within 3 years. His dds are now 22 and 20, and we have been married 6 years. (i am much younger!) He was so worried when we had my dd (now 3), bug he needn't as both big sisters dote on their baby sister, and he says it is easier as an older dad because he is more secure financially (though tbh don't know where he gets that idea from!) and maturity level is better.
You will be fine!

I started my family in my forties and at the age of nearly 50 I have a lovely 7 yr old DD and a gorgeous noisy 5 yr old DS.

Upsides- You are probably settled and financially more secure than when you were younger.
They keep you young!
You will be confident in your parenting decisions.

Only downsides- Your parents and IL's may be deceased or elderly
I find juggling a job and small children probably more tiring than when I was 30!

It's great though, you will be fine.

My husband was a 'little surprise'. MIL thought she was going through the change! His sister is 14 years older and brother 12 years older. He has a lovely relationship with both his siblings. Both did very well academically, sister is a doctor.

He is very close to both his parents. FIL worked away when the others were little so he really appreciated having the opportunity to be more involved with the upbringing. DH is so close to his parents, he has a lovely relationship with them. Both parents say it was lovely having himwhen they were older, more financially secure, more settled and confident.

I'm sure it will all be great!

My husband was a 'little surprise'. MIL thought she was going through the change! His sister is 14 years older and brother 12 years older. He has a lovely relationship with both his siblings. Both did very well academically, sister is a doctor.

He is very close to both his parents. FIL worked away when the others were little so he really appreciated having the opportunity to be more involved with the upbringing. DH is so close to his parents, he has a lovely relationship with them. Both parents say it was lovely having himwhen they were older, more financially secure, more settled and confident.

I'm sure it will all be great!

Congratulations! Enjoy this precious gift and stop worrying about what others might (or might not) say.

I had my 4th and last baby at 40 and turned 41 a few months after. DH was 52. We have 3 older children and the eldest has just turned 12. DH does get a bit of "ribbing" from some but he puts it all down to jealousy lol!!

As soon as the baby comes all these worries will be gone. Im a believer in fate and I think you just won't imagine life without them. Don't worry about what other people think.