Any tips on hiding my 6 weeks pregnancy - lots of parties and bump paranoia!

[HKinCrystalPalace]

hello

This is my first pregnancy and I'm only 6 weeks, so excited . I am having terrible tummy cramps and as a result my tummy keeps swelling up. Luckily I work at a desk so can hide this and am dressing in skinny jeans and floaty tops at home and wearing scarves and dresses with open jackets at work.

However the big issue is social occasions - I have a couple of major weddings - husband best man and one of my really close mates, as well as a holiday with a few boozy single mates. I have 2 hen weekends coming up too, all before 12 weeks - the most social summer ever!

The big night out won't work (these events are more than 1 day in a row) and I'm not sure anti-biotics will work for both (lots of the same people going to the various events).

As I'm at the age where people are getting pregnant, people are constantly joking at work or guessing with friends and I really don't want people to know yet.

Any ideas, please let me know . Thank you!

I think antibiotics is so well known now it is practically code for 'I am pregnant'. If you don't mind people guessing, but don't want them to dig, by all means go for it.

My big tip for a wedding is that people don't actually notice what you are drinking as much as you think they do. Accept a glass of champagne. Take a couple of sips. Ditch it somewhere. Likewise when the wine comes round. Move onto vodka and tonic as soon as practical. Get your other half to get the drinks in so he can deal with it for you.

Hen weekends and boozy holiday, is there one friend you wouldn't mind confiding in? It gets much easier to hide if you have a friend covertly swopping drinks for virgin versions at the bar and having a crafty swig from your glass.

When someone pulls the old 'antibiotics' line, I immediately know what's up. I don't think anyone believes that one, it's a dead giveaway.

I agree that weddings are easy, just hold a glass of wine and don't really drink it. But if you're going on a holiday with friends, they are presumably good friends - couldn't you just be honest? It is by far the simplest way and if something were to happen you might appreciate their support. Otherwise they probably are going to guess, but if they're discreet they just won't say anything about it.

Congratulations!

My advice is to bluff it. The antibiotics excuse always seems to raise suspicion and raised eyebrows. I was pregnant on my 40th birthday and I just drank drinks like lime and soda or coke and pretended they had mixers in them. I had a couple of decoys. If anyone asked to buy me a drink I would order a rum and coke and get my OH or best friend to buy me a coke and swap it with them (they were, unsurprisingly delighted to play that game!). Lots of flitting about with your glass, leaving it at random tables and abandoning it helps too. Not one person suspected I was pregnant!

I do understand that it's tricky during the meal at a wedding though and I have the same situation coming up in a few weeks as well as I am about the same stage as you. Not quite sure how I'm going to work that one either!

Just say to anyone who asks that you are alcohol free because you plan to start trying and want to be in tip top condition!

I said I was not drinking as I'd put on weight.
'Luckily' I had the bloated belly (ie before bump came BLOAT) as proof.
Make up a holiday that you are trying to slim for?

When I have been not drinking for non pg reasons (long term health issue), I used to just drink likely look9ing soft drinks if I was buying, or hold and pretendy sip drinks if bought, eg champagne for toasts etc.
Congrats!

Ah, sorry for the holiday you could just say you're feeling a bit bigger already, IYSMIM

Attack is the best form of defence. So you could preempt raised eyebrows by complaining to your friends in advance how you hadn't realised how much weight you'd put on until you tried on the dress you'd planned to wear to the wedding so you're off booze until you get back to size whatever but do they have any dieting tips? This can also be your excuse for avoiding stuff like soft cheeses, mousse (uncooked egg), pate, etc. If anyone badgers you to drink say it's making you miserable having put weight on so you'd rather stick to soft drinks.

If anyone asks if you are pregnant, your reply could be evasive e.g.
Bloody hell, that'd require us to have had sex! (true!)

I think the trying to get pregnant line is a good one though - I switched to alcohol free drinks a year before we started trying mainly to avoid knowing looks but I also thought it'd help.

A trusted wingman/woman is also good as long as they don't get so drunk they forget!

Good luck.

I'd just brazen it out nowadays to be honest. Most people figure out that you're pregnant but nobody (in my circle of friends at least) would say anything to you.

Not so good for the holiday, but could you be driving for the wedding? Driving combined with either an early start the next morning or having to be home for the dog got me was one of my favourite excuses.

I was worried about all of these things until horrendous sickness hit at about 6.5 weeks and I had no chance of going to any of my pre-arranged events anyway! Not trying to be negative but just be aware that this really could happen. I would be careful about booking in too much, especially holidays just in case. I had absolutely no idea how difficult it would be to get up and dressed let alone go out! I did do a couple of social things that I couldn't get out of, and both times I just said I was feeling really ill and therefore not drinking/eating much which was the truth!

Just tell people you're on a de-tox due to IBS and aren't drinking. Covers alcohol-free drinks, bloat and possible trips to the loo to vomit.

I have two ways of dealing.

1. I am dieting and frankly I hate dieting and I've worked out I get more calories from booze than from anything else so I am cutting out booze rather than cutting down on food. As noted above,looking a bit paunchy helps that one.

2. I just don't fancy booze at the mo. Most people who know me know I periodically just go off booze for a few months at a time anyway, so it isn't particularly flagging any warning signs. And those who don't - well being direct and saying hey I don't really want to drink doesn't hurt.

I have used under doctors orders as well, but only because I have been to hospital a few times recently and people understand I'm not 100% my usual self.

Reality is I'm sure a few people are wondering, but until I confirm it wonder is all they get to do. I don't think many people are rude enough to push you on the issue.

Agree with those saying take a glass of wine, sip and ditch.
No one twigs then
Re bloating, it's surprising how massive you can feel at the 'keeping quiet' stage when honestly people won't notice or would be too polite to say anything. I got to 14 weeks by time I had scan and told peopke at work,I was amazed they didn't guess.
Do treat yourself to something in the next size bigger to wear- you'll feel so much more comfortable x

I'm 9 weeks and blagged it through my own wedding a week ago. This also included a number of family meals and do's. I had a trusted bridesmaid and best man who brought me an endless stream of soda water disguised as g&t, I nursed a glass of fizz (my father drank it for me) during the speeches and the rest of the time I claimed I wanted to be sober for the big day "I refuse to have a hangover in the photos" etc.

Agree with above, antibiotics is a clanger and a decoy drink and a few rehearsed lines should help. Have a smashing whirlwind of social events

I would go for a combo of antibiotics or driving for one occasion and sip and ditch for the others. People really don't notice if you don't drink, as long as you look like you are.

Everyone thank you so much.
Freelance Mama & Sam100 I like the nearer the truth, "I'm trying so not drinking, to give me the best chance etc".

There is so much good advice. Bue I think on holiday I will tell my close friends and they'll be happy for me and a holiday is a long time to fake it.
Will defo do the swapping drinks and maybe be less paranoid at the wedding (no one will really be watching that closely - thanks for the reality check girls), my MIL will be there so a secret word in her ear that i'm trying will keep her quiet and over the moon!

Will steer clear of antibiotics excuse - I agree it's shorthand for preggers and use the I'm driving for the second wedding - good tip Midgetm & Bionicemu.

Also the dieting excuse is brilliant one, as I can easily be trying to fit into a new dress for a wedding, I actually will be too!

I do feel a bit alone not being able to tell anyone my DH is amazing but as a guy doesn't have experience to share and this has made me feel a lot less worried THANK YOU.

There's loads of great advice here but I just wanted to add my own failsafe - I used to say something like "Oh, I had a migraine yesterday so I'm avoiding all the triggers, unfortunately wine is one of them!" - worked a treat!

IBS - got me out of every 'fat' situation I had pre-12 weeks :) People tend not to ask for details and just leave it at that xx

I just held a glass of wine in my hand at all times and didn't drink it (took some willpower!). Every so often DH subtly swapped it for his empty one.

That said, I actually think it doesn't matter if people guess, as long as they don't say anything. The only issue with people knowing is if something goes wrong and you then have to tell them that. If they have guessed but not said anything then there would be no need to tell them if something does go wrong. Does that make sense?

I went with tonic & no gin, alcohol free Becks in a glass, and the ditching drinks idea! Also found that asking for no refills at weddings 'because it's easy to drink tonnes & I'm driving early in the morning' got me out of excuses. My BF used to sit next to me, I'd get my glass topped up, she'd swap it with her nearly empty one! Worked out well for her!

I always got my own drink and had tonic water with slice of lemon. Everyone assumes it is g and t. Otherwise just keep putting down your drink and losing it.
Antibiotics is a give away, particularly if you will be seeing the same group of friends regularly.

I went to a few weddings about the same time as you and always held a glass of champagne all night. I refused top ups but did get the odd refill. My OH also drank champagne and just kept switching our glasses round. So he'd nearly finish his and then pick up mine and I'd hold his. He did end up very drunk at one wedding, but no one had any idea I was pregnant! Once people are drunk themselves they don't notice anyway - just manage to look like your glass has less in it during the meal and early stages.

And let's be honest, the odd tiny sip isn't going to do any harm either! Have fun!

I was 5 weeks pregnant at my own wedding and 7 weeks pregnant at a music festival and one massive tip I would give is that drunk people aren't that quick. So at the wedding I just let people buy me vodka and lemonades and I cannot even begin to think how many almost full glasses the cleaning staff must have found on various tables at the end of the night. Just keep moving and noone will ntoice you're not drinking them.
Also the music festival was pretty easy, just don't appear too sober i.e. laugh at ridiculously unfunny drunk peoples' jokes and they will think you're drunk too. Drunk people don't tend to take much notice of how often others get a drink or even what they are drinking so stick with lemonade/coke and don't mention anything.
I would recommend, if you think it's possible, having one ally on your holiday though. It's much easier to appear drunk if you have somebody in the know whispering in others ears that you are soooo wasted and maybe you should slow down!

Antihistamines as an alternative to the antibiotics line? Antihistamines + booze make you really drowsy and you're not meant to take the two together.