Anyone in third trimester and got a toddler as well?

[snowchick1977]

Hi

Im 30 weeks pregnant and have a one year old, who isnt walking yet.

I'm so exhausted. I've been signed off work due to swelling and blood pressure and I am at home with my one year old all day, as he childminder doesnt work school holiday.

I normally work full-time.

It's all I can do to get through the day and feed her and tidy up.

How are you all coping if you are in a similar situation.

I have no family close and all my friends work.

Help!

Poor you, can you get some family to visit for the day and take dd out for a couple of hours or see if your dh/ dp can take an afternoon's leave or flexi to give you a break?

I'm 35 weeks with a 2.8 year old dd and it's a nightmare, I have spd and can't run after dd. I am very fortunate that DH is a teacher and is now on school holidays but I did an awful lot of tv/ dvd watching before he broke up.

Yes, I'm there too! Due any day with dc2 and ds is under 2. This morning my cousin helped me with him over the park (can't take him on my own as can't pick him up/run after him etc), this afternoon he's watching Cbeebies! Before I was pg with dc2 my son had never watched the tv- I've had to give in and give myself a break.

Try to make it as easy on yourself as possible, and don't beat yourself up about the fact that you aren't able to do as much with her (I say this however I was upset the other day that I hadn;t been able to take ds out for a few days, even though I can barely walk about the house at this stage!!).

I agree with previous poster, ask family to come for the day and take dd out and you can get some rest while she gets out etc.

I know it feels like you have a long way to go still but it will be here before you know it and you'll feel better then.

good luck xx

God the carrying! DD is 15kg and is constantly asking me to carry her, daddy is not good enough. I feel like a weighlifter.

Not in 3rd trimester yet, but I do have an 18mo old who has just learnt a) to walk and b) to shout say 'no'. I'm 25 weeks. Hard work, isn't it?!
OP, could a local nursery take your toddler? DD goes 2 mornings a week, and it makes a huge difference.

I'm 30 weeks also but probably can't add much to the above suggestions of visiting family / DP taking a little time off work / short term nursery, if any of those are possible.

Oh and yes, cbeebies is a life saver! At the moment my DC1 (22 months) watches a lot of this with me on the days she is at home, way more than I would like but as nearlymumofone said, you just have to accept the reality of your current sitution and remember it won't be too much longer before you will be able to do more active outdoors stuff again (and your DC is back with the child minder!). I make myself feel a little better by talking with DC1 about what we are seeing on the TV e.g. counting things together, making the appropriate animal noises, pointing out colours and shapes etc.

Good luck, you have my sympathy!

Yes! 35 weeks and have 2.5 yr old. SO tired and can't sleep at night and getting quite impatient with all concerned really.

I have found the following useful:

1. Accept any help offered from friends / family - even if they can only come occasionally, I figure any rest / help around the house is worth it.
2. nap whenever you can - does your toddler still nap? If so sod the housework and nap when they do. You'll be amazed the difference it makes.
3. don't forget to drink lots of water and eat!
4. swimming is the only time I feel truly comfortable - drag yourself there when DP/DH gets home - it is SO worth the effort, even if you just do some stretches and kick your legs about - it takes the blood pressure and swelling down and it's wonderful not to weigh anything for a little bit.
5. take DC1 out in the morning somewhere so they are tired and will nap for you to get a break. If they don't nap, definitely stick cbeebies on - its fine!
6. Get DP to do housework etc when they get home or (if you are lucky enough to be able to afford it) get a cleaner.
7. drive whenever you feel like it (if you have a car) if you are feeling really tired you will get more achieved.

OOh and just juice ice lollies are a good plan too IMO!
Good luck :)

I'm a childminder, 28 weeks pregnant with a 3 year old of my own, a full-time 20 month old and various other children popping in and out most days. Yes, it is exhausting! Especially the lifting, and the pushing of buggies. I am stopping work in a few weeks, and my own DS starts preschool every morning in September

OP, you have my sympathy. I am used looking after children all day every day, and I am still finding it very hard. To go from a full-time working environment to looking after a one year old 24 hours a day with no respite at all must be very difficult indeed.

30 weeks pregnant with a 2.9 year old DS who doesn't nap during the day and has just discovered questions beginning with 'why' . I have SPD and worsening vulval varicose veins and walk like John Wayne a lot of the time!

Sounds like you are doing well, OP
You look after her all day and tidy up. My dd is 15m and walking and that helps a lot, but she's pretty demanding all day and I often nap when she does (im 24wks pregnant). She's also waking at night ATM which is so hard.

I don't like them but I've found electric musical annoying toys are a winner with her, as are messy play like leaving her with a non nondrip cup in her highchair with a tray.

I also find being with other mums with similar age children helps entertain her - can you see if there are any groups you could try out? I know it sounds like more effort but once she's there it might be more relaxing for you.

Oh and our local leisure centre has a morning creche Which means I can have a swim and a relaxing shower on my own

Hey snowchick. I am 30+1 with dc3, I am also on my own. Don't have a toddler, have a dd,11 and ds,5 who has severe special needs, so basically like having a toddler he can't walk or talk, has severe epilepsy, no understanding really, so I can sympathise. I too am finding it a real struggle just now. I also have spd and gettn around just now is awful. If you need to talk, please feel free to message me x

I don't envy you having such a little one to look after too. I'm 24 weeks and DD is 23 months so it's completely different having a more independent child.

Can you find another local childminder or other type of child care for the summer holidays?

Thanks for all the replies.

She naps for an hour at 11 and an hour at 3 but I find myself trying to rush about to get things done in that time.

I dont think it would be half as bad if she was actually able to take a few steps and maybe understand what Im saying - its a nightmare ha ha.

Im willing the new baby to come early....dd did 4 weeks early, but I know thats not ideal.

I have no help at all to call on as everyone is over 2 hours away. Ive only got 3 weeks to go until the childminder starts again so will just have to hope that the time goes quickly!

Xx

Hello! I'm nearly 30 weeks with a lively 3 1/2 year old ds who runs all day! I work 3 days a week as a GP and I'm not sure which is tiring me out more - at least I get to sit down at work. Ds is also going through a period of not sleeping - ear infection followed by nightmares and now who knows... hot weather, contrariness?! I was up with him 5 times last night and today I haven't yet had the energy to get dressed.

Not sure what advice to offer as I'm not coping brilliantly myself! One thing, has your midwife checked your bloods recently - fbc and ferritin? Low iron is common at this stage and will make you feel even more whacked. You can get over the counter supplements like SpaTone to help prevent your iron getting low - might give you a bit of a boost as you can still feel very tired with a ferritin level that is on the low side but still in the 'normal' range.

All my relatives are 4 hours drive away too - that does make things harder definitely. Try to rest when your little one naps - never mind if the house is untidy. A blind eye to a bit of mess and dust is quite reasonable at this stage! Hope you can hang on in there till your childminder starts again. hugs :)

Helen x

Stop rushing around during nap time! You should be sleeping too, or at the very least sit down and have a cuppa in front of the telly. Cleaning can wait, especislly if your ltlle one goes back to the cm in 3 weeks.

Definitely second the suggestions to nap when your dd is napping! I'm 30weeks with a maniac 18mo and am literally counting down the minutes until I can put her to bed and go lie down!

Do you have one of those hideous bouncer/walkers that flash and beep and take up half the room?! Put DD in there, run around doing your chores then and make sure you do nothing at all when she's asleep. It will make the world of difference.

Sending sympathy to everyone, am dreading it getting hot again, all that running around and hefting this bump, I'm constantly sweating and exhausted! Attractive!

I can completely sympathise. I have a 16mo and am 27weeks pg, with PGP and it's exhausting! Especially when it's hot.
I feel guilty that I can't get out and about as much as i'd like to, just walking to the shop and back is painful and tiring!

My DD watches cbeebies at meal times, and is generally a slow eater so when i've finished eating i'll do the washing up or have a quick tidy, and I try and include her when I do the housework - dusting for example, i'll give her a cloth and she can 'clean' too, or when i'm cooking i'll give her a pot of utensils and some pots and pans to play with.
I often find that household objects keep her amused far longer than her actual toys, but most of the time i'm sat on the sofa being lazy and reading to her as she has an obsession with books!

When she naps, I rest. And definitely get your iron levels checked, mine were low and i've been taking SpaTone which has helped a lot.

33+1 and DS1 is 17 months. My am so grateful I have an independent son who likes to do his own thing most of the time :) but OMG when he has a temper tantrum it is so bad!!! :(

DD is 2 1/2 (and won't nap any more), DS 5 1/2. I am 30wks pregnant and DH has injured his shoulder - he can't even wash himself! I don't drive, DH can't, so we're all stuck at home. Nearest shop is 2 miles away...
Some things can wait (you can live without ironing your clothes), and watching a little more TV won't harm your DD.

I have demanded dh comes home early I am also 30 weeks, ds 2.4 wakes at 4 am every morning and my other two dc 3 and 5 are also nightmares as its the school holidays and they are bored. Dh was meant to be working until Friday but I demanded he return thankfully his boss is understanding.
I am currently surrounded by screaming children. I would relax when you can and sleep when is possible. Housework can honestly wait.
I really can sympathise.

29 weeks with DC3. I have a 6yo and a just 2yo. I also have a broken leg, so not been out for five weeks except to fracture clinic. The day after I broke my leg DD2 came down with chickenpox. It has not been easy as in Scotland so have had 5 weeks of summer holiday too. my parents have helped as much as they can, but at 70 and 80 they are quite frail themselves. DH does not drive, and works 6 days out of 7 including some evenings. Thank God for grocery home delivery and Netflix.

Obviously your limited because of swollen ankles and blood pressure but i find getting out the house atleast once a day and keeping active (with in reason) builds more energy and mental stimulation for me and my 16 month old. Hope it helps if not talk to a friend or find out if you live near any of us and i'm sure a baby sitter could be found.
All the best, Good luck.

I sympathise. I have an almost 4 yr old and 17 mth old at home with me full time and am 30 wks pg. I also have SPD/PGP.

DC2 started walking 2 wks ago - it felt like such a gift! What a difference it has made. But even before she could walk she was climbing and descending the stairs herself (with me alongside her) if your DD isn't doing this yet it's worth a few days training!

Take it as easy as you can. Remember, cbeebies is your friend!

I'm 27 weeks with a 23 month old who has just dived head first into the terrible twos. I work part time at home and look after DS full-time. It's exhausting and this heat makes it even harder. I just keep focused on the picture I have in my head of two little boys splashing in the bath together this time next year. And a thin me.