Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Being in same room as newborn

30 replies

ivanapoo · 09/08/2012 18:31

I'm only 22 weeks gone but this is something I've been wondering about a lot.

From what I can tell, guidelines recommend you are in the same room as your newborn pretty much the whole time for first 6 months.

I would like to do this, but how realistic is it? Can baby nap in a light-filled room for example with the radio on? What if baby goes to bed at 8, and you at 10? How does it work?

Any people who have done this out there, and how did you find it? Anyone plan to, but find it was hard to make it work on a practical level?

I'm already expecting criticism from relatives when we go to stay with them with baby (who had their baby sleeping through night in a separate room from 4 weeks) - so any smart answers why it's a good idea also appreciated!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StateofConfusion · 09/08/2012 18:37

Ds slept in with us for the 6mnths, when bedtime was introduced around 4mnths i think, he just went up, had a feed and was settled in his crib in my room. His day time naps the same unless we'd just been out and he was in the carrycot on the pushchair then i just popped him in the lounge.

We did the same with dd and will with dc3, although now i have a mad loud 5yo and dd will be 4yo i imagine this baby will have more naps upstairs earlier.

ithastobeNAICEham · 09/08/2012 18:41

My DD (now 8) slept in the same room as me until she was 1. She kept waking on a night and I couldn't always hear her on the moniter so it made sense to keep her in with me!

On a practical level, I'd say do what's right for you, if you feel ok with having (for example) your 3 month old in a different room then go for it!

Personally, I wouldn't but with all of this parenting malarky, its different strokes!!

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn · 09/08/2012 18:43

Our DD slept with us. She used to sleep in Moses basket in living room in the day. Bright room, with telly or music on. Then we'd take the Moses basket up when we went up, and she'd sleep in it in our room, in quiet and darkness. At 21 months she sleeps brilliantly.

FreelanceMama · 09/08/2012 18:44

Well, I gave my Mum the safe sleeping leaflet from the NHS and said read this, these are the latest guidelines and this is why we're trying to have him in the same room as us, keeping the temperature at 16 to 20 degrees when we can, breastfeeding for 6 months, putting him on his back etc. Which is quite different to what our Mums were told. Or tell them that you can't be arsed getting out of the room several times a night! It was lovely when he was in a moses basket next to the bed. I could feed him without getting up, and lean over and rock him to sleep without opening my eyes.

So our baby's still in with us at 7 months. He'll go to bed tonight in about half an hour. I'll go to bed whenever I want but without turning on the light. If I'm quiet, he doesn't wake up...fed my partner comes to bed later and neither of us wake up!

FreelanceMama · 09/08/2012 18:45

fed my partner? Weird predictive text!

KikiRC · 09/08/2012 18:46

In my experience newborns will fall asleep anywhere, whatever the noise & light levels, especially when they're tiny. I put dd down to nap wherever we are, either in a Moses basket or just tucked up safely on the sofa etc. At night I put her in a basket by the side of our bed from about 7pm and use a baby monitor. She is now nearly 5 months and still sleeps in our room. We've partially co-slept, and that works for us, it's also meant that if we go away anywhere she goes to sleep well.

I know people who've happily co-slept, others who had the baby in another room from day 1, I don't think there's a right or wrong, I just always felt safer with her right nearby and night feeds are easier when you can just stretch out and pick them up. We keep all the changing stuff in a basket by the bed, so can do everything without having to get up at all, which suits me perfectly!

FreelanceMama · 09/08/2012 18:50

daytime naps, we have him in the front room, curtains drawn, quiet in the bouncer. When he's asleep, the TV can go on. They're odd bods. Our son fell asleep at a wedding, bright lights, live band. But when he hit 4 months he got too distracted by light and sound so we keep things quiet. Unless we're on the move - car, pushchair, carrier - and he'll sleep fine.

katiegolightly · 09/08/2012 18:54

Our 17wk old has been in a swinging crib next to me up until 3 months and is now in her own room. Made easier by very small flat so we are always next door to her anyway.

It made sense for us to move her when she started sleeping through but she's also a very noisy sleeper and tbh we only wanted to wake up and tend to her I'd she needed us, not every 30 minutes when she wriggled/had wind/general baby grunting noises! Occasionally we co-slept after her 4am feed when I couldnt settle her again.

Everyone I know has done it differently, from co-sleeping up to a year vs own room at 3 weeks, but I strongly feel that you'll know when the time is right for your dc to start a bedtime routine and be in his/her own room through the night. It's a totally personal choice and don't let anyone tell you your way is wrong!

katiegolightly · 09/08/2012 18:56

Oh, and daytime naps can be anywhere in our case. Pram, carseat, bouncy chair would rather get her napping in her cot but we seem to always be doing activities out and about at the wrong time!

Original poster

ivanapoo · 09/08/2012 18:59

Thanks everyone, it's really good to get people's perspectives. I'm definitely planning to have baby in my bedroom for 6 months for sleeping, it's more the times outside of that I'm confused about eg when I'm cooking dinner, chilling out in the evening etc. it sounds like a Moses basket might be the answer here.

OP posts:

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 09/08/2012 19:00

Baby should be in the same romm as you, not so you can here her, but so she can here you.

Your breathing and heartbeat help to regulate her breathing which is pretty dodgy for a bit.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 09/08/2012 19:01

Babies also sleep very successfully in a sling!:)

FreelanceMama · 09/08/2012 19:09

a moses basket is a good idea then so you can move where your baby naps. A sling/baby bjorn is also fab - took me ages to get into using one and now I'm a massive fan - look, I have hands again!

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 09/08/2012 19:12

Babies can nap anywhere, unless you condition them by always putting them down in a dark quiet room, they nap in the buggy out shopping, in the bus, in costa etc

in the evening you can put them down in a moses basket then transfer to bedroom cot at your bedtime, I had to do a feed at our bedtime for months anyway

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 09/08/2012 19:13

people will tell you that babies sleep better on their own in quiet dark nurseries, the answer to that is, yes, babies sleep TOO well if left alone, so well they stop breathing!

BikeRaceRunningRaceNoSkiing · 09/08/2012 19:24

You are allowed to close the Curtains in the day time! No idea why my phone thinks curtains needs a capital letter...

noblegiraffe · 09/08/2012 19:24

I remember my baby peacefully sleeping in a Moses basket on the living room floor while I watched the latest Harry Potter film with friends - which wasn't quiet!

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 09/08/2012 19:26

If you really wanted to get DS to nod off quickly, just put the hoover or hair dryer on! you can buy CDs of "white noise" (can choose from road works, car engines, hoovers etc) to help babies sleep!

Original poster

ivanapoo · 09/08/2012 19:32

I know you can close The Curtains ;) but, er, we don't have any in half of our new very naturally light house! (the half we'll probably spend most time in, the kitchen/diner). And just thinking if you have friends over etc I don't want to be too PFB and insist on living in darkness. But by the sounds of it most babies will sleep anyway when they're little which is great news.

Thanks all, really appreciate all your views, please keep them coming!

OP posts:

openerofjars · 09/08/2012 19:35

My now nearly 10 week old sleeps through all sorts of inappropriate and noisy tv and the racket her 3yo brother makes from the moment he wakes up until the time he goes to bed, bless them both.

The best thing you can do is make normal amounts of noise: we tiptoed around DS and by the time he was 6 weeks old he had be reflexes and razor sharp hearing of a ninja. We learned our lesson with dd and vac round her basket, use the hair dryer next to it etc. She sleeps like a drunk log.

CharlieMumma · 09/08/2012 19:36

My ds slept in our room at night till 9 months. He napped downstairs in the daytime till about 5 months then he went up stairs to nap and I carried on with things as normal downstairs.
From about 3/4 months he went up to
Bed at 7 and slept through we was then in his own till I went to bed at 11.

So if I get what ur asking the bulk of the night he wasn't on his own but for naps and early bed time he was.

openerofjars · 09/08/2012 19:37

Oh and you want her to nap in daylight as well as sleeping at night, or you'll have to darken anywhere you want her to sleep...

Pooka · 09/08/2012 19:42

Mine loathed Moses baskets with a passion, but slept brilliantly in the pram carry cot, which then could be transferred to be when I was going up. And then at some point the bay would wake up and be fed and then put into the bedside cot be had. Or would just end up in bed with us!

Started off with a bebecar pram with carry cot which was a handmedown. Then with second and throw babies had a bugaboo cam and they slept in there during the day or early evening. Advantage was eying able to wheel them round with me if I was going to do gardening for example.

amck5700 · 09/08/2012 19:49

we had a crib downstairs and upstairs when my babies were small (although No1 son used to fall asleep regularly while lying on his mat playing with his baby gym) When they got a bit bigger we had the travel cot/play pen downstairs for naps and cot upstairs - eventually they graduated to going up in the cot/bed for a nap but do whatever you feel is right, sometimes they sleep in bouncy chair or pram/buggy but I never liked them to do that too often as I liked them to get a good stretch out. Toddlers sometimes just nap on the sofa etc too. Noise/light never seemed to be a problem but when they started to go upstairs for a nap, I used to nip up and shut the curtains first so that they went into a dim room rather than into a bright room - it is always lighter upstairs :)

Chunkychicken · 09/08/2012 19:56

I had intended to keep DD in with us for the 6mths as recommended. We started with her in a Moses basket, which came downstairs during the day for naps (normal noise & light levels) then would go upstairs at night again.

For the first few weeks, DD would have a feed at 10pm ish then I would go to bed, whilst she slept on DH's chest. He would bring her up for another feed, then she'd sleep in her Moses basket.

Best laid plans were sent to pot when she started rocking the Moses basket on its stand at 9wks, and our room was too small to have a cot, unless it was directly in front of the (only) radiator or the window. So she went in her cot. However, she was actually only about 1m away from us, through 2 plasterboard walls, and the doors open, so I could hear her breathing, even without the monitor!!

After a while, we introduced a bedtime routine - lullaby CD, darkened, calm room, DH bath and/or dressing her for bed, me giving the last feed and putting her down, sometimes awake. This worked really well & DD sleeps well now.

For #2 we're in a different house, so could probably get a cot in our room. I think I would try to keep him/her in with us for as long as possible, but attempting to introduce the same sort of routine as with DD.

Flip

1 2