why am I more worried second time round?

[Fletch1]

Hi ladies
I'm currently 19+1 with DC2. My DD is 4 (going on 40!).

I'm finding this time round that I'm really nervous and worried about the health of the baby. The first time I only really worried up until the 20 week scan then just assumed everything would be fine.

This time however I am constantly worrying something is going to go wrong. The sister of one of my close friends lost a baby at 34 weeks earlier in the year and a colleague lost a baby at 12 weeks (we were due at the same time) so I think this has brough the reality of it all to my attention.

Is everyone like this? Or am I just going mad??

I worried more too. I think it was partly because I had gone through it once do could see more potential for where things could go wrong and partly because I sort of felt like I has used up a bit of luck with the first one and it felt a bit like I was tempting fate with the second iyswim.

Im having DS3 and am still like this now at 35 + 3. I think its just mum hormones as first time round i was super mega shocked and excited all the way through the pg and after that one I started to constantly worry that something bad was going to happen.

Snot just you thankfully

I think first time around you roll on almost in blind ignorance and even pregnancy is a huge learning curve, second time you know what to expect and are far more clued up about what can go wrong (not helped by the sudden surge in all these birth and midwife tv programmes!), plus you share a lot more stories with other mums - with that extra knowledge comes a bit more extra worry i guess. I think it is prefectly natural. What with that and what those close to you have experienced it's not surprising it plays on your mind.
Try not to worry though (easier said than done!), it is no different to the first time really. Congrats on the pregnancy and try to enjoy it! :-)

P.S. That was a very long way of saying 'no you are not going mad', happens to us all!! ;-)

I hope you're not going mad or else I am too!

I'm so much more worried with this one, DC3, and i think it's for similar reasons to yourself. A friend suffered a cot death last year as well as another friend having a very disabled baby with no prior warning. To top it off a friend of a friend had a down syndrome baby that the screening tests didn't pick up.

With DD1&2 I was only concerned about what sex they were! I loved being so naive!

I'm 15+5 and still feel really akward telling people incase something goes wrong. My bump is really massive this time round and as I started to show very early it's been impossible to hide it as I'm normally slim. I hate that my 2DD's, who are 5 & 8, are so excited incase something happens.

I can't wait to get my 20 week scan over with and hopefully relax a bit. Have you had yours yet?

I am the same as you - don't really feel pregnant and have felt the whole time that I will MC.

I was so naive the first time, and I have had lots of friends MC in the last few years, so you are a lot more aware the second time.

Another vote for same here, im 18 +4 with DS2 and despite four yes you read right perfectly healthy scans, and feeling flutters , im still more of a worrier this time!

My theory is that with your second you know what it is to love your child almost like you know what you'd be missing? This alongside the fact that if you are like me you only get to really think of baby in moments of peace, i think all feelings are magnified?

Thats my general theory my more specific theory for myself is the above plus my fertility issues, and the fact that I'm
Stuck in a job I hate with ML being my light at the end of the tunnel makes me so paranoid!

Least we arent alone

Nah- totally normal. I'm on my third and still nervous at 34 weeks. I always just thought it was cos I was getting older so know more people who have had problems coupled with the fact that I understand now how much I love my kids and am scared to lose something I would love that much.

I'm on dc4 and more worried than ever!

Thanks for the reassurance ladies. At least I'm not alone in my madness :)

Completely the same .... Much more worried with dc2 than dc1... Like people have said ... Blissful ignorance re parenthood 1st time .... 2nd time u know what youre letting self into .... But FWIW ... DC2 now 14 months and blissfully napping as I type. Congratulations all on your bumps x