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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Feeling frustratred by lack of sex drive

9 replies

junglebums · 07/08/2012 19:38

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and have been suffering from terrible nausea and fatigue since 5/6 weeks. This has meant I've been off sex for some time as i've just felt too lousy.

The problem is, now my symptoms are easing I still don't feel like having sex. DH has really struggled with this as we used to do it 3/4 times a week.

It's been 2 months and I feel like we're not very close at the moment. I've been really irritable and just find DH annoying every time he tries to get intimate.

Has anyone else had this problem and if so when did it start to improve?
I feel like a miserable sexless cow and I hate it!

OP posts:

BlueMoon74 · 07/08/2012 19:43

Sorry, no advice, just sympathy! I feel exactly the same, and I'm 26 nearly 27 wks pregnant now, and still no desire to get it on!

I had ms until 15 weeks, so put it down to that at the time. However, right now I can't see my sex drive ever returning! It's as if a switch has been totally switched off. :( We've had sex 4 times since I got pg. And all four times were totally miserable for me. Sad times!

aries24 · 07/08/2012 20:03

Same for me! Feel so awkward with my DH!

steben · 07/08/2012 20:03

I am pregnant with my second and had no sex drive first time and made a few half hearted attempts but it wasn't pleasant for me at all. This time I have not bothered for me I just feel like my body is for something else right now and whilst I feel bad for DH he is understanding. Just wanted to add that things went back to normal post birth

Orenishii · 07/08/2012 20:05

Me too - last time was at around 16 weeks. I'm now 30 weeks. I can't actually believe we've gone this long, it's weird. The worst thing - and I know I should be happy that he's not pestering me (in a nice way) is that DH doesn't seem bothered. He does all the things he normally would do with regards to being affectionate - rump pinching/slapping, kissing, cuddling, calling me beautiful and gorgeous etc. And I can see it in his face - he's as in love as ever :)

But it just makes me insecure I'm a massive lump he's not attracted too :(

Kelbells · 07/08/2012 20:15

I'm exactly the same, almost 30 weeks and my sex drive hasn't been there since the beginning! At first I was just worried (we've had 2 mc's before) then just too tired and generally lacking in sexiness!... We used to be a 4/5 times a week couple and my dh is very frustrated as he finds me really attractive looking all fertile and carrying his son! We had a minor return to form at 16 weeks when we were on honeymoon, I do the deed once a week at the weekends when I've got a bit more energy but its a bit like one of the chores I've got to do! such a shame because I do enjoy it once it happens and I feel so much closer to him afterwards... It's just getting the inclination in the first place!! .... I also feel terribly guilty as I don't want him to think all that sex before was just to use him for his sperm!!

On the plus side, I confided in one of my friends who said her libido did come back after pregnancy... So there is hope!!

Original poster

junglebums · 07/08/2012 20:22

It's such a massive difference from my first pregnancy when I had a really high sec drive.

I am a lot more tired this time though and by the time I get 2 year old DD to bed and we had dinner, sex is the last thing on my mind. I just want to collapse into bed!

It's actually the intimacy I miss most. I'd like to be able to snuggled on the sofa without DH thinking I'm giving him the green light.

OP posts:

JoJoCK · 07/08/2012 20:27

Just about managing once a week and I agree Kelbells, sex is now a chore. I just can't get the enthusiasm up whilst I feel nauseous 24/7! And I don't even feel vaguely guilty about it, it is dh's fault for getting me pregnant! (I'm 15 weeks)

sparklekitty · 07/08/2012 20:34

Yep, not always had a high drive anyway (lots of personal issues) we've done it maybe 4 or 5 times since finding out (am now 33 weeks). The times we have have been different, not a chore but more about wanting to be close rather than feeling sexy. Some of it has to do with tiredness, DH works insane shifts too. I'm not unhappy about it as it probably wouldn't be happening atm anyway (coz of shifts) but I do miss the closeness. I want to want it but I just don't. Poor DH was told that my sex drive would be unstoppable in tri 2 - it wasn't.

minipie · 07/08/2012 20:47

Oh thank god it's not just me. Now 22 weeks and last time was at errr I can't remember but it was before 6 weeks I think.

I had bleeding on and off from 6 to 17 weeks and was worried about sex triggering more. Bleeding has stopped but I still just don't have the urge. Nor does DH as far as I can tell which is good in one sense (no guilt) but bad in another (if neither of us makes the effort will we ever have sex again??)

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