First time mum - book recommendations please

[Italianbride]

As I come to terms with actually being pregnant after a long wait, I'd like some recommendations on useful books to read to help me prepare for the new arrival. I'm open to anything at this stage as I like to read, absorb and then make up my own mind

Thanks in advance
A newbie

I have bought loads and read three so far, all good in their own way.

The Mumsnet pregnancy book has been good and not po-faced. I look up stuff as it happens to me to see if it's "normal" or if I'm actually ill

Ina May's guide to childbirth is very good. The birth stories are very earth-mothery (I'm not earth mothery in the slightest) and so I was skeptical, but I came away from reading it feeling quite pumped up and like childbirth was totally doable.

Lastly Jools Oliver's Minus 9 to 1. Not book-like at all - her overuse of exclamation marks almost killed it for me - but the actualy content once I got into it was funny and honest, and I rather enjoyed it.

The ones I haven't read yet are Gina Ford, the Baby Whisperer and Miriam Stoppard's guide to childcare. I'm intending to dip into them for an across the board look at problem solving (given they are the strict, less strict and liberal spectrum) when the baby is actually born. Or use them as coasters, one or the other

I will fly in the face of MN convention and recommend Gina Ford's contented little baby book. I didn't find the routines or breast feeding advice at all practical but it was excellent for recommendations on what to look out for when buying baby products, setting up a nursery, and practical guidance on things like swaddling and washing the baby.

How to Raise a Brighter Child: The Case for Early Years Education is out of print but available on Amazon. It's a bit of a scary title but is a brilliant book on how a child develops from a newborn to 5 years old, how to interact with them, how to identify and meet their needs. Highly recommended.

Don't read anything. Or, to stretch a point, read a bit while you are pregnant, mainly about what not to buy, then stop as soon as the baby comes. Or be prepared to take it all with complete pinch of salt.

The problem with all these books is that they are not written about your baby. Huge potential to drive yourself batty trying to get new DC to fit into someone else's routine or do the thing on page 8 that X book says is ABSOLUTELY VITAL.

Just come and ask on MN, if you need to know anything when DC here. We can drive you batty and you won't have to spend a fortune on Amazon!

For 'while you are pregnant' reading, I recommend 'What Mothers Do (Especially when it looks like they are doing nothing)' (close to title) by Naomi Stadlen. Quite good about the totally insane experience of becoming a mother of a newborn, ie someone who quite frequently does not find time to shower.

Thanks for the tips!

OhGood I'm definately up for taking everything with a pinch of salt but I just feel totally unprepared at the moment as I've seen friends and family all do things in very different ways.

As I'm new to MN and reading through some of the threads I can see that this is a good place to ask the questions that might appear to be ridiculous!

This was the only book i used. Fantastic, full of info even for when baby is born and it's daily rather than weekly which is just lovely.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1405332107/?tag=hydra0b-21&hvadid=9556677789&ref=asc_df_1405332107

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1405332107/?tag=hydra0b-21&hvadid=9556677789&ref=asc_df_1405332107

Makes it easier doesn't it!

Agree with OhGood, on the 'What Mothers Do' book. If you are after a book just to tell you about what to expect in pregnancy, you could always try 'What to Expect when you're Expecting', although you may be better off just asking on MN anyway, given every pregnancy is different. My OH enjoyed this one:

www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-For-Men-whole-months/dp/190541062X/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1344350510&sr=8-8

..and so did I!!

For books about childrearing, you could probably pick up any mentioned and get some useful ideas from them, but just remember they are just for ideas, ignore anything that doesn't work for you.

"The Fat Ladies Club" is a great read.

Gina Ford.

Mumsnet.

I would recommend The Food of Love, which is a light-hearted guide to breastfeeding, and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, which is more practical. Anything by Dr. Sears. I found the baby whisperer was too much pressure in the days when I was struggling so I doubt I would have found Gina Ford much use lol!

Thank you for all the suggestions. I've got a 2 week holiday coming up which will involve much lazing around on a sun lounger reading my Kindle so it will be nice to have some baby books to read (in amongst the erotic novels trash!)

I found Lesley Regan's Your Pregnancy Week by Week to be invaluable. Really knowledgeable and no 'agenda' to promote beyond making sure to be as factual as possible. It has seen me through two pregnancies now.

I read so many baby/pregnancy books whilst I was pregnant but it was just my way of finding out everything I possibly could.

No harm in reading if you are prepared to disregard half of every book and only pick and choose the stuff that feels right for you and your family. Also be prepared for the fact that babies can't read terribly well and therefore don't always know that they should conform to whatever the 'expert' on page 135 is telling you.

That aside, I liked...

The Rough Guides to Pregnancy and Babies
The 'Best Friends Guides' by Vicki Iovine
Liz Fraser's 'Yummy Mummy'
The 'What to expect when you're expecting' [and the first year, toddler years]
Sears and Sears 'The Baby Book'
'The no cry sleep solution' by Elizabeth Pantley [and later the discipline solution and potty training ones]
'Raising Boys' by Steve Biddulph

I also read the Contented Baby and the Baby Whisperer which didn't really do it for me. Fortunately DS slept a lot as a baby and waking him at 7am just so that we could start The Routine was never going to happen.

While you are browsing Amazon it's also worth picking up a good book on children's health to have on the shelf just in case!

"how not to fuck them up" by Oliver James!

"your baby and child" Penelope leach

"what to expect the first year"

Personally I despise gina ford's books I found each page more insane than the last.

Don't forget the Mumsnet Rules!

What mothers do by Naomi Stadlen
Food of Love by Kate Evans

Gina Ford is good for a laugh, but not at all like my experiences of babies (I have 4 DCs).

Stuff by Sears is usually pretty good.

Why love matters by Sue Gerhardt

Finally couple of websites:

Kellymom

ISIS -fantastic evidence-based resource with research references about normal infant sleep. A bit of a contrast to at least one book recommended on this thread and written by an author without qualifications .

Beware following Jools Oliver's breastfeeding approach. It clearly worked for her, but in many mums it might lead to insufficient milk.

Amazed no-one has yet mentioned 'Babies!' by Chritsopher Green, erstwhile author of 'Toddler taming' and an Australian paediatrician and dad of two boys. Anyone who can make me laugh on no sleep and colic hell is a genius. Highly, highly recommended and very cheap on ebay.

Also The Sixty Minute Mum by Rob Parsons and a website..

www.careforthefamily.org.uk/

OP, just remember that you're the Mum....read all about it, but do what you're comfortable with x

To relax about childbirth and read empowering birth stories:

Ina May Garten's 'Spiritual Midwifery' and 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth'

For breastfeeding advice and a good, funny read:

Kate Evans' 'The Food of Love'

These are the books I keep returning to - they're so enjoyable to read and really empower you with regards to your body.

'Birth Skills - proven pain management techniques for labour and birth' by JuJu Sundin an absolute MUST imo. Has lots of positive birth stories like Ina May but having read both I think it is by far better, much more practica, useful and less fluffy. Worked for me and many of my friends. We refer to it simply as 'The Book'!

'Your Baby Week by Week' goes from 0-24 weeks after birth, I found it really useful with both of mine, totally non judgemental and no 'shoulds' like Gina F-ing Ford, as my midwife calls her. Covers sleeping, feeding, how you're feeling that sort of thing.

OneWorldBirth -fascinating resource about childbirth

I just recommended this on another thread;
www.amazon.co.uk/Secrets-The-Baby-Whisperer-Communicate/dp/0091857023/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344366591&sr=8-1

I'd second your baby week by week. You probably won't find it great whilst pregnant but it's brilliant once baby arrives to dip in and out of.
My personal recommendation would be First time parent which has a good section about what to buy but talks you through what to expect from your newborn in a very balanced way. It doesn't tell you what to do, just gives you some options.
Gina Ford suits some babies, it must because she sells lots of books! I read it when pregnant and thought, oh yes, a routine, that'll make life easier.....then i had a baby...oh and how I laughed at the routines that book contains. Feed baby every 2 hours ha ha ha...... Read it if you want to know what all the fuss is about, but before you panic and think you'll never manage it, it's important you know that many many of us think it's foolish nonsense.

Sears' Baby Book. I found it invaluable, lots of info on how to clean baby properly, the fact that baby girls have breast buds etc. Loads of really useful stuff I would have completely panicked about if I hadn't read the book.

Unconditional parenting.

Congratulations op :)

Another vote for secrets of the baby whisperer .

Making Babies (Stumbling into Motherhood) by Anne Enright is just wonderful: funny, moving, insightful, comforting... I have bought many copies for girlfriends since a friend gave it to me during my first pregnancy, and I really recommend it.

From Amazon: Anne Enright, one of Ireland's most remarkable writers, has just had two babies: a girl and a boy. Her new book, Making Babies, is the intimate, engaging, and very funny record of the journey from early pregnancy to age two.

Written in dispatches, typed with a sleeping baby in the room, it has the rush of good news - full of the mess, the glory, and the raw shock of it all. Easily confiding and full of advice from the front line, the book contains sections on buggies ('All women with buggies look like they are on welfare'), second pregnancies ('No one gives a toss about your second pregnancy. Get on with it'), evolution ('Humans give birth in pain so that they can't run away, afterwards'), not to mention how to get trolleyed while breastfeeding ('There are good reasons not to feed a baby while drunk, not all of them aesthetic').

Making Babies is an antidote to the po-faced, polemical 'How-to' baby books, but it also bears a visceral and dreamlike witness to the first years of parenthood. It is written from the heart of change: urgent, funny, passionate and wry. Anne Enright brings her entire self to this account of her life, as new life came out of it. She wrote it down as it happened, because, for these months and years, it is impossible for a woman to lie.