Possibly pregnant with 2nd - mixed emotions

[mariposa1]

I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant - it's still a bit too early to test but I'm having EXACTLY the same symptoms as I did with DS. If I am, i know i am incredibly lucky and this will be a much wanted baby.....but I am sitting here staring at my sleeping 15 month old feeling guilty and tearful. I just can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I love him. I think (hope!) this is quite a common reaction, but please someone reassure me that I'm not going to spend the next nine months feeling this way!

Almost everyone with more than one DC will relate to how you're feeling, we've all been there too.

You are giving your DC a gift. A sibling relationship is (hopefully) the longest anyone will ever have. You are giving your DC much, much more than you are taking from them by changing their 'only child' status.

You will love DC2 just as much, the love doubles, it isn't halved. It might hit you in a rush as soon as baby arrives or it might grow over time but you will feel the same bursting love as you do for DC1.

You might well feel this way on and off for the full 9 months - I did! But you can spend time thinking about how you will raise your children to love each other and minimise the inevitable sibling rivalriy/jealousy, discuss your feelings with DP too. You'll probably come to terms with it all before baby arrives.

In 18 months or so from now you will have two children playing together making each other laugh and bringing even more joy into your family life.

It's wonderful, trust me!

You are not on your own. I bet every mother feels like you feel right now. I know I did!

I used to feel terrified that I wouldn't love DD2 as much as DD1 when I was pregnant with her. Then I'd reassure myself that I would and then I'd feel guilty about daring to even think about loving anyone as much as DD1, almost as if I was cheating on DD1! I kept feeling like no other child deserved to be loved like DD1 (hormones eh?)

I do, I love them both exactly the same. They are both amazing in their own little ways and the love that they have for each other is just heart melting. Will DD2 give me kisses? Nope but DD1 gets lots, no questions asked :o.

Have a search through MN and I can assure you that you'll find la few threads asking the same question as yours. :)

Thanks both for your lovely, thoughtful responses! I will go and have a search through old threads now but I am feeling slightly calmer already.

My 2nd was planned. But I still thought Oh fuck what have I done.

Tis normal I think. And I felt for ages that I had ruined DD's life by having another (20/21month gap here) because she was very hard work and I was very knackered.

Now - two little best friends. They bicker a lot but love each other so much.