1st Pregnancy & my Mom has scared me today

[Piercy]

Hi

First time here, actually I'm a first time pregnant at 39. Partner and I are delighted and it is very much wanted. For reason that I won't bore you with this is the first 'realistic' chance of me being pregnant.

On Friday we told my parents as they are not often in the country and the next time we see them I will be well and truly 'growing' and I wanted to tell them face to face rather than by phone.

Friday night they were delighted however today clearly the news has sunk in and my Mum has frightened me witless - I'm an older mum I took sudofed, benlyn for a cold a couple of weeks ago (I didn't know I was pregnant then) I'd also stopped taking the folic acid (as baby plans were on hold but had lapse of concentration)! I'm now really worried I'm going to have a baby that isn't 100% healthy

I'm trying to stay positive, negative news is always heard first you don't always hear about the mums that are the same age as me or older that have perfectly healthy babies.

What test can I have? What reassurance is there.

P

If there is negative news of any kind, it's not going to be due to a little cold medicine at the beginning of your pregnancy! Try not to worry. As far as tests, just do any tests you are offered - they can see a lot at the scans. Please try not to worry.

I stopped taking folic acid because it was making me feel sick, so had a couple of weeks without taking any. I started again the second I got BFP and have decided not to worry about it. You get folic acid in your diet and what will be will be, I am honestly not concerned. People get pregnant without realising and don't take it and have healthy babies, just do your best now.

Staying calm is the most important things and being healthy as possible, mum's can be funny sticks, mine certainly says "helpful" things and I just take them with a pinch of salt.

At the scan you have at 12 weeks or so they will look for signs of spina bifida and some other conditions.

Folic acid is in all sorts of things as well as pills (cereal, eggs etc)

Medicine taken in the first few weeks won't affect development of the foetus. Some things can affect implantation, but you have clearly implanted.

However there is no test or guarantee of a 100 percent healthy baby. There's no point in worrying about it, but even with tests etc people still have babies with health issues or worse, who grow up to be politicians. Chin up though, odds are overwhelmingly in your favour, and in all likelihood things will be perfect (and if not, it is nothing you have done).

Try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. It's such a lovely thing.

Ah mums eh they always scare us my mums always saying things like this. Im not an older mum but Im not younger. Im 30 and my dts are 6 months old. When pregnant I took Benylin and Sudofed too honestly dont worry there are far worse things you could do. For peace of mind just avoid it in future but Im sure everything is fine. Do you have a midwife yet? speak to them or your gp/ or a pharmacist. Or ring NHS Direct tell them of your concerns they will definately be able to reassure and know what theyre talking about!

As for being older I know loads of older mums you are definately not the only one (they will be here soon Im off nightclubbing shortly-yawns and settles in for night). Trying not to break confidences I work with a mum who had her healthy baby at 40 and another at 40 and 41. Less than a year between her children and Im sure having a very young baby must make it hard to concentrate on your own health during pregnancy. Those dc's are healthy too (Im pretty sure the mums did other small things that maybe they shouldnt of but though the risks are there they are very very small). Congratulations on your long awaited baby. I worried all the time when pregnant with my long awaited dc's and was told that the worrying never stops even after theyre born. That is so true! This will seem like a small thing then (trying to reassure but hoping Im not making it worse). What I mean is-its a mums job to worry. Thats why you are and thats why your mum also worries about you. Doesnt mean we're right though!

You were born in the early 70s, and at that time women who were over 34 when they became pregnant were considered 'elderly primagravidae' because of the risk of extra complications. This term is no longer used, things have moved on, but obviously your mum will still be speaking from what she remembers. The weirdest things come out when your mum and MIL suddenly bring up all the things they remember! It may be a good idea to have some chats with your mum asking her about her experience of pregnancy, childbirth and babies so that you can put any comments she makes in perspective - I don't mean dismiss them, but see where she is coming from.

Congratulations, hope you enjoy your uneventful pregnancy

People had babies for years without taking frolic acid. Yes of course now we know more it's better to take it than not, but the human race managed fine for centuries without it. I assume your diet is (relatively!) healthy? You have cereal, bread etc? As they are all fortified with it. Start taking the supplements again now. It's not an issue. So cross that off your list.

Benelyn etc - again, no you prob wouldn't take if you knew. But did you realise the reason most things like that say "don't take when pregnant" is simply that they haven't tested on pregnant women so they don't know any bad effects, they just haven't tested (I presume because what pregnant woman is going to say heck yes, let me be the guinea pig). Also, your baby doesn't share your blood stream until you're about 9 weeks pregnant so again, stop worrying about that. There are literally thousands of us who did something they wouldn't have done had they known they were pregnant.

Good luck and welcome to a lifetime of worrying about your child!

Firstly, the baby gets its nutrition from the yolk sac for the first 6-8 weeks, so anything you took or did then was unlikely to have crossed over. You've passed the first hurdle - the fertilised egg implanted! It's growing!

Secondly, in this day and age, 39 is not that old for a first baby. When my mum had me (27 years ago), she was 38 and it was considered to be very old but that just isn't the case any more. You'll be tested for all the things that you're at higher risk for at your scans.

Try and relax. The odds are in your favour now!

Your body is doing an amazing job, despite anything you do knowingly or otherwise, it will nurture and protect your baby.

When you have your 12 week scan, you will be reassured of this. Honestly.

Now, relax, enjoy and allow those feelings of excitement to creep back in...you are going to be a mum

definitely agree with previous posters. Until the placenta beds in at about 9 weeks (I think) baby gets all it needs from the yolk sac, so it won't get any benefit from folic acid or harm from anything you take. FWIW I didn't know I was pregnant with DS until I was about 6 weeks I think, and had taken no folic acid at all, had been very very drunk (newly wed) several times smoked and taken migraine tablets as well as nurafen. For the rest of my pregnancy I ate what I liked, fell off a horse. I did have some problems with my pregnancy, though I have been reassured they were nothing to do with what I did or didn't do. And DS is absolutely perfect.

WRT to age... well women these days are better nourished, live easier lives (physically) and obstetric and neonatal care has come on massively since the 70's when your mum was having kids. Her info is out of date.

I'm 39 and pregnant with my first too. I also didn't take the recommended supplements, eat the right foods, or limit my exercise for the first 7 weeks as I didn't know I was pregnant. I even had a few glasses of wine. I'm not worried to be honest. When my mum was pregnant with me she wasn't given a whole set of rules to follow, and her pregnancies were uneventful.

At your 12 week scan you will have some tests for Downs/Turners/etc, and if your risk is high you will be offered further more invasive tests.

If it is an option have a private 12 week scan. The NHS one puts a lot of emphasis on your age when calculating your Downs risk. A private one will focus more on the nuchal scan measurements, and will give you a more sensible basis for your decision with respect to having a CVS test. CVS carries a miscarriage risk so it isn't a no brainer.

Hi

Thanks everyone - defiantly learnt some new things like get folic acid from food (doh why didn't I think of that), baby doesn't take my blood until 9 weeks in, and the private scan.

I have my first midwife appointment on Thursday so will ask questions, and ask about the private scan - I found another site last night with famous people that have had children at 'later' stage in life and the children are fine. Partner been v supportive as well.

I'm sure I will be on here for the next 9 months - thank you again - now off to enjoy pregnancy

I guess being a mum and worrying has already started for me :O)

P

I wouldn't worry about some cold medicine. I reckon I conceived just before Xmas and spent the following fortnight drinking pretty much every day, wine with meals while with family, nights out with friends, etc over Xmas and New Year. By the time I found out I was pregnant with twins, it was too late. DTs aren't here quite yet but all scans look fine. I'm nearly 37 with first pregnancy so not a young mother either :)

There is no point worrying about the past, all you can do now is concentrate on eating healthily, taking folic acd, vitamin D, plenty protein, 5 a day, etc and growing that baby :) As my DH says, they have babies all over the world where people don't have access to the healthy food and vitamins we do, so the odd slip up is unlikely to make much difference!

The risks are tiny, my dr had me on ibuprofen to reduce swelling at 14 weeks! I was also pissed as a fart at 3 weeks, with absolutely no idea i was pregnant. Didn't start taking vitamins til i found out at 5 weeks. Now 23 and all scans so far are healthy.

Congratulations