Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Erm sex......

14 replies

Spice17 · 03/08/2012 11:06

Hi all

I would like sex after not having it since I was about 4 months but DH has stopped even asking me (he says this is because he knows this doesn't work and puts pressure on me) The thing is I'm 7 months and am feeling like this is an excuse and he doesn't want to. No attempts whatsoever.

Have asked if he's worried about hurting baby, he says no, we've talked fairly frankly about whether he finds pregnant women attractive - no, not really. I worry that me saying my boobs are sore etc has put him off.

I'm nervous about doing it but do want to and feel like I want him to want to more. Need to get some in before baby comes :)

Should I just try it on? I don't - as I would like him to and worry he'll be thinking 'Oh christ, the whale wants some!'

OP posts:
festiemum · 03/08/2012 11:11

It's difficult. I am 32 weeks, extremely horny and the size of a whale! We do try, but it is often hilarious and involves a lot of propping and pillows and improvisation!!!! What I've found is that my dh will not initiate sex at all at the moment. I was a bit upset and Hmm at first, but soon worked out that it is simply that he doesn't want to pressure me - he knows I'm tired, big, preoccupied etc.

When I want it, I ask for it. Simple as that. He's generally enthusiastic, but I have to ask, otherwise it doesn't happen! Hth. :)

thisisyesterday · 03/08/2012 11:12

if you want sex then why don't you just tell him Confused

Original poster
Spice17 · 03/08/2012 11:19

Festie - me too, not really felt like this before but REALLY want some :)

This, I do 'hint' but not too good at the whole 'give me some now' when I feel and look like a whale , just can't correlate the two things in my mind iyswim?

My issue I know!

OP posts:
panicnotanymore · 03/08/2012 11:19

I think he is being sensitive to the fact that you are pregnant, hence might be feeling a little less than 100%, and is nervous about appearing to pressure you. Just take the lead, and he'll get the message. I feel a bit sorry for blokes when their partners are pregnant. They never quite know whether we will be throwing up, ratty, sore, short tempered, horny, nesty or what.

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 03/08/2012 11:21

I'm so jealous, my sex drive is completely gone - I want to want it, I just don't! Seriously though you've asked him if he finds pregnant women attractive but you're not pregnant women, you're his pregnant DW - what could be more attractive than the woman he loves carrying his child? You could remind him that you won't feel like/be able to do it for some time once the baby comes (trust me the anxiety can become worse if you're worried its going to hurt) or you could just suggest some romantic things to do - date night, candles, bath, massage etc and take things from there. He's your DH, it's OK to initiate! And you're not a 'whale' - you're pregnant, it's a beautiful, natural thing, be proud of your body and the wonderful thing it's achieving!

Pinkie29 · 03/08/2012 11:22

Just tell him to hop on Smile

I've been so sick and exhausted literally from a few days before we found out, dps not initiating it at the minute but he's explained he doesn't want to hassle me when im feeling like this so I'm ok with it, we used to average 3 times a week, it's once at the minute, hoping I'll feel better soon!

Do you think your dp is worried about hurting the baby? I was very nervous at first but ok now.

Original poster
Spice17 · 03/08/2012 11:28

Think I need to crack onto him then ladies, I am so rubbish at it, it's like one of those romantic comedies, I just feel like an unsexy idiot.

Also, prepare for TMI - what about oral? He likes doing, I like obviously but couldn't relax last time (missing the wine beforehand aspect!)

Looking like it's more my issue the more I type/think about it.....

OP posts:
festiemum · 03/08/2012 11:31

I do sympathise. I do ask, but not as often as I want to. Think you're going to have to steel yourself and just ask!

Btw oral, why not? At least it's logistically a lot easier! :o

Good luck!

ThreeWheelsGood · 03/08/2012 12:38

I'm wondering about this too. I'm 28 wks and finally feeling up for it, but worrying that penetration might caught bleeding or other problems. DH is being wonderful, no pressure and said right at beginning of pregnancy that he understands if I don't want to. We haven't had a pregnancy get this far before, I've had one mmc. I occasionally read worrying post-sex threads here, probably should've avoided that eh.

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 03/08/2012 12:49

three I'm 31 weeks and we've had no trouble dtd throughout the pregnancy - unless you've specifically been advised to avoid sex, I'd just take it gently the first time and see how it goes :)

sammyleh · 03/08/2012 13:44

I say go for it :) initiate it and I'm sure he wont be able to resist you. I thought I looked like a hippo and had a bit of a sobbing sesh in bed previously. I said to DP 'how can anyone find this massive arse sexy?' and he said 'your boobs are massive, your skin looks awesome and your hair is gorgeous... plus your my fiancee' Fair point I guess :) Good luck, I hope you get some xx

Purplelooby · 03/08/2012 16:22

Use my tactic (TMI alert)

I just straddled DH one morning when I finally felt like it again and started, you know, rubbing against him (sorry). Anyway I'm fairly sure that I don't turn him on right now since I'm 36 weeks and look like a winter seal, but I know he still finds me attractive in some way and anyway, what man can resist the old sausage rub heh heh.

frillylemons · 03/08/2012 16:46

I'd say go for it. I'm nearly 37 weeks and didn't particularly feel like it, but DH has needs, so I hopped on! Sex is important and we always seem so much closer after it Wink

DonnaDoon · 03/08/2012 16:53

Try not to be offended by your hubby op....I am 27wks with dc4 and my dh does not come near me once I start showing. It really upset me when pregnant with the others but after years of getting back to normal fairly quickly after birth (6 weeks after) I realize that my pregnant shape just doesnt turn him on as much as my normal shape. Also he has a mental block of new baby only inches away up there that he cant forget about whilst doing the deed.We do other things though and plenty of kissing and cuddling:)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page