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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Maternity leave at 29 weeks

10 replies

amybelle1990 · 30/07/2012 14:22

Hey guys,

Am feeling sorry for myself and really berating myself. Have had a rough pregnancy- not as bad as some- with lots of hyperemesis. Now that the sickness has eased, I'm getting so much dizziness, tiredness and back pain. The Dr's and Midwives all say it's just normal but I have a physically demanding job which can't have its duties modified for me to return to work. I feel so bad but I think I'm going to have to start my maternity leave earlier then planned. I just feel like I've failed a bit by being so pathetic :( Any similar experiences?

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Pontouf · 30/07/2012 14:27

Don't see it as pathetic at all. I felt exactly the same. My sickness went on till around 20 weeks and then i had about ten minutes of feeling well before i was just massive and knackered! I managed to get through to 34 weeks but was completely exhausted. Is there any way you could use some holiday and cut your hours down for a few weeks just to give yourself more breaks?

Newtothisstuff · 30/07/2012 14:30

I had severe SPD with my second and HAD to finish work at 31 weeks. I literally couldn't get out of bed some mornings. I worked until 38 weeks with my first so felt utterly defeated this time around. I couldn't really afford it but I had to.
I wouldn't feel bad doing it again, you have to look after yourself.
Take the time you have off to put your feet up and watch rubbish daytime tv

ValiumQueen · 30/07/2012 14:37

There is a reason why we can start at 29 weeks! Sometimes it is necessary. I worked up to 38 weeks with first, 33 with second, and planned to start at 29 with this one, but rather handily broke my leg! I have actually been off since 24 weeks, and have not a hint of SPD as I have been resting. You are having a hard pregnancy. Stop being hard on yourself, and have a rest. No point making yourself ill. Any chance you could get signed off sick?

Original poster

amybelle1990 · 30/07/2012 15:23

I can be signed off sick but i can't afford to :S. Plenty of A/L to take luckily but I'm still fairly new to the team so getting paranoid about getting a rep for being 'unreliable', etc. It's not so much the pain, it's the dizziness and light headedness. I just can't stand up for too long so a job where I've got to spend 11 1/2 hours on my feet is just impossible.

OP posts:

ValiumQueen · 30/07/2012 15:34

Would you not get paid of sick then? That is a bit of a bummer. I will get paid more if sick than on mat leave. I did not break my leg on purpose by the way!

TeaandHobnobs · 30/07/2012 15:43

Poor amybelle, sorry you are having such a tough time. Don't feel bad if you want to stop now - it won't be doing you or baby any good to plough on if you are not feeling up to it. It used to be mandatory to start ML at 29 weeks, that only changed shortly before I was born.

Have a think about the best balance in terms of starting ML early, taking sick leave, and using annual leave. Do you have a sickness allowance? (i.e. where you get paid full pay not statutory sick pay)

I ended up finishing work at 29 weeks when I got admitted to hospital. HR tried to persuade me to take me ML early, but I decided I would rather use up my sickness allowance and then take statutory sick pay up until 36 weeks, when my ML would have been trigged anyway due to being off sick for a pregnancy reason. In the end, it didn't actually matter, because DS decided to arrive the day after I'd decided that!

I didn't like the idea of using up annual leave when I was sick, but if that will make life more comfortable for you, do consider it. I've hear other women use annual leave to cut down the number of days a week they do.

I thought (maybe someone will correct me if I'm wrong?), if you do a physically demanding job that cannot be altered to be suitable, work has to pay you even if you can't do your job? Maybe someone more HR knowledgable can advise on that one.

And try not to worry about how it looks to the team - they should understand what hard work it is! My team were practically begging me to take it easy in hindsight they were probably right

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 30/07/2012 15:46

Do it! I took my ML with DS at 29 weeks as I was knackered and felt terrible (plus paranoid that he'd come early and I wouldn't have time to 'do' stuff - as it was he came 10 days late) I warn you I did get a bit bored (kind of antsy, couldn't be bothered to do anything) but I don't regret it at all. This time round (also 29 weeks) I feel 100 times better which is just as well because as a SAHM I don't have time to myself, you probably won't get this opportunity again so I say "go for it!"

theressomethingaboutmarie · 30/07/2012 16:08

Take the time you need. If you need to finish at 29 weeks then so be it. I'm nearly 36 weeks with my second and wish I'd decided to finish earlier. I finish at the end of next week and have been counting down for months!

Original poster

amybelle1990 · 30/07/2012 16:33

No sickness allowance at this job :( but meh... i just wish i had the energy/pain threshold to be able to clean or do stuff at home if I am going to be off a bit earlier.

OP posts:

Spuddybean · 30/07/2012 18:04

Poor you OP. Don't feel bad about the Mat leave - that's what it's there for.

For what it's worth i went on Mat leave at 29 weeks (36 now) for no other reason that i didn't want to go to work anymore. Not a physical job and i felt fine. So if you are suffering or just want to it isn't anyone's business or something for you to feel bad about.

I hope you feel better. :)

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