Anyone more worried second time around?

[IWantToGoToThere]

When I was pregnant with DS (now 2.5) I sort of just breezed through with no real anxiety that anything was going to go wrong (the pregnancy itself wasn't breezy, but I just sort of assumed everything was going to fine and it was). I had an early private scan at 8 weeks which I assumed was going to be fine and it was. I had no anxiety approaching my 12 or 20 week scans either as I just felt that I knew everything was going to be fine.

This time around though (with a MMC 10 months ago), I'm worrying about everything and just can't relax. I've already had 2 private early scans as I just couldn't relax and was going crazy wondering if everything was ok. My last scan was at 9 weeks and everything was fine but I'm now nearly beside myself ahead of my 12 week scan on Monday. I'm also really worried that something will be found at my 20 week scan and am really conscious of my age (now 36, will be 37 when I have the baby). I just can't enjoy this pregnancy at all.

Is anyone else the same? Maybe it's because I got pregnant very quickly the first time around where this time it took over a year with a MMC in the middle, but I just feel so much more aware of what could go wrong this time.

i feel similar. i think its because my daughter is so.precious i never really understood how much you can love a little person till she came along. im worse second time round i didnt know many mothers with dd1 so i was a bit naive. now i hear so many birth stories i know a bit too much! i think that might be why i worry. i find it hard to settle at night too much time to think.its a natural feeling i think whether your having your first or fiftieth!

Yes. It's eased off now (7 months pregnant), but in the beginning I was much more worried and anxious about baby's health. For me, I think it's because I got pregnant about a month after DS1 was diagnosed with very mild Asperger's Syndrome. It obviously shook me up a bit, and it got me slightly obsessing about whether I'd done something during pregnancy to cause it. I think also, when something like that (or a miscarriage) has happened to you, you are more acutely aware of your fallibility and that things DO happen that are sad, or worrying.

However, just because things can go wrong doesn't mean they will and its important not to give into the negative pattern of catastrophising.

Good luck for your scans Once you have those under your belt (so to speak!) I'm sure your worrying will ease off. You have my sympathy though, it's not an easy time, early pregnancy.

It sounds to me that your loss is affecting how you feel in this pg. as now you know things go wrong for everyone, it's not just something you hear about iyswim.

I mc, then had a baby. Mc again then had a baby. Then found out I was pg again I was convinced I would lose him. So far so good.

But by far being pg with ds2 was the hardest. After 2 previous mc I knew that things had gone wrong before and could again. I could literally spend hours thinking to myself 'is the baby alive now? Is it still alive?'.

Every twinge I panicked like crazy. And of course, once you have a child, and you have all the love in the world for your child, you appreciate how special and vulnerable your new baby is.

No real help I'm afraid, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. And each day that passes is another day closer to holding your new baby. Wishing you all the best and let us know how you get on on Monday x

I did feel much more anxious this time, I think for the reasons you and Dorothy gave. However, after 2 problem-free (ish, I have a low placenta) scans and a very wriggly little baby, at 23+wks I'm far calmer. I expect that there will always be more anxiety with more pregnancies because you know more each time iyswim. With a bit of luck, you will feel calmer once the anomaly scan has come out well and you'll be able to enjoy it a bit more...

i've been the same OP, i had my DS then 2 MMC's and diagnosed with APS, the first four months for me were awful, i couldn't enjoy anything about the pregnancy. scans made me feel better for that day and then i would start to panicand worry the next day. it started to ease for me when i could use my doppler and when the baby started kicking but it is still and anxious time (27 weeks today!). i'm 36 as well and if this pregnancy goes ok it will be my last so i want to enjoy it but it's been hard.

like Dorothy my DS is so precious to me that the thought of losing this one or not having another is far more nerve wracking than when i had DS and assumed that because everyone in both our family's are super fertile then i would have no problems, jeez how wrong can you be?!

Anyway i didn't mean to go on, just to let you know that it's not just you and hopefully as you celebrate each milestone it will get a bit easier. xx

Me. I am constantly terrified. I feel we can't be as lucky as to actually be getting everything we want.

I'm much more worried about the birth this time because I know how much it bloody hurts!! I went natural- no pain relief last time- sod that- it's epidural all the way this time!

Thanks, it's nice to know I'm not just going crazy. Funnily enough, I'm not worried at all about the birth even though I had a real shocker the first time around. In fact, that bit can't come soon enough. Will try to dial down the crazy and just relax.